tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37806876551619142642024-02-08T04:13:51.447+05:30FAKING NEWSFaking News is the leading Indian news satire and humor website. It contains cutting edge satire on political and social scenario of India. The website publishes fake news reports with incisive sarcasm, satire and humor.Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.comBlogger257125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-12128968051627135132009-08-17T00:48:00.001+05:302009-08-17T00:56:50.217+05:30Faking News moves to a new host<div><p>We have finally decided to give Faking News a more professional look and feel (at least that is what we think we are doing) and hence this blog would be shifted to a different server.</p><p>The original blog (where you are reading this post) and news reports will still be available at <a href="http://newsflush.blogspot.com">http://newsflush.blogspot.com</a></p><p>Faking News might be temporarily unavailable at <a href="http://www.fakingnews.com/" target="_blank">http://www.fakingnews.com</a> for sometime due to this migration and limited technological skills of Pagal Patrakar.</p><p>But we hope everything would be alright soon.</p><p>See you in a new get up!</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-75761152253642434192009-08-16T11:36:00.004+05:302009-08-16T11:51:16.735+05:30SRK was detained at US airport due to stammering<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitVfE-rU7zzbSrhlnDuILg9hl4O8K3Vx7m4TRJI_QKuXgSSAzH2hy6B-1EBYmYpwmIqWA6ntVW7z-PhrqX6bbzMMfu4FHtUtMseslB5cv5_xdSfoEIl37aWevKPFU02yhuiRa2vsxwV30/s1600-h/Shahrukh-Khan.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 277px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitVfE-rU7zzbSrhlnDuILg9hl4O8K3Vx7m4TRJI_QKuXgSSAzH2hy6B-1EBYmYpwmIqWA6ntVW7z-PhrqX6bbzMMfu4FHtUtMseslB5cv5_xdSfoEIl37aWevKPFU02yhuiRa2vsxwV30/s320/Shahrukh-Khan.jpg" border="0" title="Angry and Humiliated" alt="srk"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5370441396474559170" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">New York, USA.</span> Following the uproar in India over Bollywood superstar Shahrukh Khan being held up for around two hours at an airport, the American security officials have finally issued a statement denying any racial or religious profiling being the reason behind the incident. But officials have confirmed that the Indian actor was detained because he indeed was perceived to be a threat to the domestic security, because of his famous stammering.</p><p>“When Mr. Khan was asked his name, he told – My name is K K K… Before he could complete his sentence, the junior security official detained him for being a suspect supporter of the banned <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ku_Klux_Klan" target="_blank">organization</a>. Later on we watched various interviews and movies by Mr. Khan and concluded that he stammers at the ‘K’ letter, so we let him go. Watching all those movies and interviews could have taken much more time as Indians talk a lot and make quite lengthy movies, but to our credit, we finished the business within two hours.” a security official told.</p><p>The homeland security department categorically denied any religious profiling in the incident as they argued that Shahrukh didn’t appear Muslim to them.</p><p>“His name surely is pathetic, but he doesn’t wear that tube wrapped turban. He also has no beard without moustache and he doesn’t stink like a goat. No copy of that holy book was found in his luggage and he didn’t ask for a permission to say prayers while being detained. He surely doesn’t look Muslim to us. We don’t profile anybody on religious grounds.” the security official explained.</p><p>The department also denied any racial profiling though they agreed that Shahrukh did appear Asian to them and he needed to work on his skin color and accent.</p><p>“Yes, he indeed appears very much Indian – a show off and whining boy like most of you. But we do such stuff to celebrities of all origins. I hope you know that one of our junior officials detained the legendary singer and musician <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/bob-dylan/6030978/Bob-Dylan-picked-up-by-police-after-officer-fails-to-recognise-him.html" target="_blank">Bob Dylan</a> and asked for his identity proof. It happened the same day when we were watching those pathetic movies of your stammering Khan. We like being close and personal with celebrities, no profiling or bias here.” the security official further explained.</p><p>Back home, Indian I&B minister Ambika Soni has rejected all these claims and explanations of the US security officials and has reiterated her proposed policy of ‘tit for tat’. A government circular issued at all international airports in India has asked the security officials to strip search all American VIPs, especially actors and actresses. The circular has been issued with joint collaboration of the tourism and culture ministry under the “Incredible India” campaign.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-34157427527261892162009-08-11T13:56:00.004+05:302009-08-11T14:03:43.504+05:30Railways denies putting up photos of Lalu Yadav in toilets<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV2qpgb2kc3IpFt_h9yGOwJ1Iz_CDV-K-AkbsFuhiZuLg8ukz-ewxi3hKs0RHz46PwI9tNAeT0VV3D7_D-ncmzNcxz6ZsJ3uJJTeZ006tdKEdJzJyO5XER2MLY1Pq2QGjeOecKoqxuIeY/s1600-h/la_loo.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV2qpgb2kc3IpFt_h9yGOwJ1Iz_CDV-K-AkbsFuhiZuLg8ukz-ewxi3hKs0RHz46PwI9tNAeT0VV3D7_D-ncmzNcxz6ZsJ3uJJTeZ006tdKEdJzJyO5XER2MLY1Pq2QGjeOecKoqxuIeY/s320/la_loo.JPG" border="0" title="New slogan by Railways?" alt="la loo"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5368620412504077138" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">New Delhi.</span> The issue of putting up photos of ex-railway minister Mr. Lalu Yadav in train toilets is turning into a political potboiler. The incident was first brought to light by a Faking News reader traveling from Kolkata to New Delhi in Rajdhani Express, who clicked the photographs from his mobile phone. The photographs showed stickers in train toilets urging passengers to not be a ‘lalu’ and keep the toilets clean.</p><p>Such disdainful disrespect shown to a national leader has given rise to allegations and counter allegations by leaders. Parliament proceedings were disrupted several times by RJD members today who demanded an apology from the current railway minister Mamta Banerjee. The members accused Mamtadi of indulging in ‘loo level’ politics and threatened to uproot railway tracks and toilet seats if the minister didn’t apologize.</p><p>But Mamtadi has termed such allegations as ‘rubbish’ and denied that the stickers were officially put up by the Railways. She suspected CPM workers to be behind the act, an allegation vehemently denied by the communist party.</p><p>“Mamta Banerjee is fully capable of stooping so low. There is nothing new in it. In the past, she had supported Maoists and blamed it on CPM. This is just another act carried out by her for which she is blaming us out of her habit.” CPM leader Prakash Karat alleged.</p><p>The whole controversy was later given an interesting twist by Bihar Chief Minister Nitish Kumar, who claimed that the stickers were pasted by Lalu Yadav supporters themselves. Nitish Kumar advised CPM and Mamta Banerjee not to fight over the issue.</p><p>“Laluji is desperate to be in news. RJD workers have been wondering why the media and society was not discussing them even after they suffered such a heavy electoral defeat. The media spent most of their time discussing the downfall of BJP but no words were mentioned for RJD. This had upset Laluji and his supporters, who have done this to be back in news.” Nitish Kumar postulated.</p><p>Expectedly RJD has criticized the Bihar CM for making such comments. The party has now decided to postpone their railway track and toilet seat uprooting campaign and have decided to start a public urinating drive in Bihar to oppose Nitish Kumar’s statement.</p><p>“Our workers will piss at all public places in Bihar and won’t use flush afterwards to register protest. We will start our protest by mass urinating at CM’s residence tomorrow at 3 PM. All of you are welcome to witness the event.” an RJD leader informed.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-58067495569034964812009-08-09T21:01:00.004+05:302009-08-09T21:08:23.931+05:30First man to have given a bribe in independent India dies<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwQwm0jhyphenhyphen_u71GXzw3O0GL78KhDw8wsN_hu-7iEYPR20maM7fKnVX9TPOrPLaykPG1Y8fUnpDb_TmaRIKO5ucZM5t0XRrLpc6LS9qPs9a4e_u23oJbKGzO2cPtk7newkA0RFnNlLn01Sc/s1600-h/old_office.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 222px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwQwm0jhyphenhyphen_u71GXzw3O0GL78KhDw8wsN_hu-7iEYPR20maM7fKnVX9TPOrPLaykPG1Y8fUnpDb_TmaRIKO5ucZM5t0XRrLpc6LS9qPs9a4e_u23oJbKGzO2cPtk7newkA0RFnNlLn01Sc/s320/old_office.jpg" border="0" title="The good old days" alt="office"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367987521181073218" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">Gorakhpur.</span> Jawahar Tiwari, the first man who had given out a bribe to a government official in independent India, died after prolonged illness today morning. He was 92 years old and was bedridden with malarial fever for over three months. Jawahar had shot to fame last year when an investigation by an NGO claimed that he was the first person in independent India who was involved in a bribery case, although unregistered and undocumented, as a bribe giver.</p><p>“My father had paid the bribe rather reluctantly and after a lot of self rationalization. Initially he had it as a burden on his conscious but later on as he saw the Indian society evolve, he felt proud and used to flaunt his bribe giving stories to everyone, including that NGO which later on published it in their report.” Raju, the eldest among the five children of Jawahar Tiwari who could survive beyond the age of 12, told Faking News.</p><p>The story goes back to 1952 when Jawahar Tiwari worked as a ‘malaria officer’ in one of the tribal areas of Jharkhand (then a part of Bihar) entrusted with the task of inoculating people and sanitizing the area against threats of malaria. He was running late on schedule and one of the districts was yet to be visited by him. Jawahar wondered how he would meet his goal as well as the deadline on his job.</p><p>“That district always had people dying in summer due to heat strokes and there were hardly any basic amenities available. People didn’t even have water, let alone roads or electricity. My father knew that there was no chance a mosquito could grow or survive in such terrible conditions. Locals could die of any reason but malaria. Therefore he decided to skip that district.” Raju recounted the story.</p><p>But Jawahar Tiwari needed to show the district as ‘covered’ by him in the government records, hence he approached the local District Magistrate with his predicament. The DM asked for a bribe in lieu of handing out a fake certificate that his district was covered by Mr. Tiwari. After a lot of introspection Mr. Tiwari agreed to bribe the DM, creating the first ‘successful’ bribery case in independent India as per an NGO.</p><p>“We couldn’t track back any older identifiable case of bribery in independent India. Jawaharji shared most of the details but refused to name the district or share the whereabouts of the DM as apparently that guy went on to become a very powerful and respected person in society. Maybe he feared some counterattack.” Maanav Mehta, the coordinator of the NGO that carried out the investigations told Faking News.</p><p>Jawahar Tiwari had concealed this incident from most people, including his family members for many years. But when he heard his grandson claiming proudly how he and his friends got admission in a medical college after paying a bribe of 5 lakh rupees each, he wondered if bribery was an ‘in-thing’ and socially acceptable norm in modern times. Convinced, he started sharing his story with everyone.</p><p>“We are proud of our father. Very few people had the foresight and guts to carry out such things in those times. He couldn’t take bribe due to some strange feeling of guilt all his life or we would have been really a happy and prosperous family today.” Raju told.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-57908914013741791872009-08-07T18:05:00.004+05:302009-08-07T18:14:30.176+05:30Man diagnosed with Swine Flu refuses to be quarantined<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCIw43NnsxHCneh3uxwR95U4MYv4H121B1_JZXGWbpyBBwGkQAcnTNn394-_-82nv3Mu8yzn0RipKdbmAsfF0-jLTXJ8hnGY4IdkIeWknPr2lchS7qCOXoR-J2n9KM4DNw_js8qRyJ4zA/s1600-h/sweety.gif"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 250px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCIw43NnsxHCneh3uxwR95U4MYv4H121B1_JZXGWbpyBBwGkQAcnTNn394-_-82nv3Mu8yzn0RipKdbmAsfF0-jLTXJ8hnGY4IdkIeWknPr2lchS7qCOXoR-J2n9KM4DNw_js8qRyJ4zA/s320/sweety.gif" border="0" title="The Incorruptible" alt="sweety"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367201263761073218" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">New Delhi.</span> Sweety Singh, a man diagnosed with Swine Flu has refused to be quarantined, claiming that if he was kept in the same room with other patients, he could be ‘corrupted’ and might contact a severe case of the disease. Sweety was diagnosed with a possible case of Swine Flu on July 31st when a Nashik based businessman allegedly injected H1N1 virus into him by force.</p><p>“My son is being framed. He is healthy and fit. Anyone can say that just by looking at him. Why should he be treated like an untouchable and kept separate from the society? Because we are <em>dalits</em>?” Sweety’s father Juta Singh told media persons as his son filed an application in the hospital to be exempted from being quarantined.</p><p>Juta Singh is the head of a commission set up by the government to check spread of Swine Flu in the country. His son Sweety was earlier accused of taking bribe from a Nashik based businessman for spreading the disease. The businessman dealt in selling medicines for the treatment of Swine Flu and spread of the disease would have helped his business. Sweety allegedly took the bribe but didn’t work efficiently, which angered the businessman who forcibly injected the H1N1 virus into him.</p><p>Sweety Singh is now suffering from Swine Flu and doctors of the hospital believe that he has all the symptoms of the disease and if he was allowed to roam freely, he could influence others and spread the flu into other parts of the country. Following refusal by the doctors, Sweety and Juta Singh have now decided to move to court.</p><p>“These guys are jealous of us and there is a political conspiracy being hatched. Hardened criminals are allowed to roam and mingle in the society, then why should I be quarantined just because I have flu?” Sweety wondered and expressed confidence that he’d get relief from the court.</p><p>Reports last coming in <a href="http://www.indianexpress.com/news/Bail-for-Buta-Singh-s-son-in-bribery-case/498908/" target="_blank">confirmed</a> that Sweety was indeed allowed by the court to be exempted from being quarantined.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-19328775540055958342009-08-05T15:37:00.007+05:302009-08-05T15:49:20.436+05:30Private Air Hostesses tie Rakhi to passengers to collect funds<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHcMjzQBRbez70t4VmrXRvcZ9e5ECpa9vfCXcS_95g5rqBGk2pPqbboSopC-_-n3XaFuA2oCbOrOz1FOsb2ISlukHX7hrIxAVcjkRMBm-YVx-q3t0pH4-Qkei0ulThm6Y2_5Z6KmwJSxQ/s1600-h/mallya_girls.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 224px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHcMjzQBRbez70t4VmrXRvcZ9e5ECpa9vfCXcS_95g5rqBGk2pPqbboSopC-_-n3XaFuA2oCbOrOz1FOsb2ISlukHX7hrIxAVcjkRMBm-YVx-q3t0pH4-Qkei0ulThm6Y2_5Z6KmwJSxQ/s320/mallya_girls.jpg" border="0" title="Meet your sisters!" alt="mallya"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366421976407503426" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mumbai.</span> Male passengers traveling by private airlines in India got the shock of their life today when they were tied <em>rakhi</em> on their wrists by beautiful air hostesses in sexy costumes. Such incidents were reported on all the domestic routes where private airlines operated, cutting across air carriers owned by different corporate groups. Today is <em>Raksha Bandhan</em> festival and private airlines used this innovative method to protest against lack of funds.</p><p>“It was so shocking. I was sitting in the front row and was happy that I will be able to see the beautiful chick closely all through my journey. I got so excited when that sexy lady came close to me and bowed down to offer me sweets. Then to my horror, she took out a <em>rakhi</em> and tied it on my wrist and asked for money as a return gift. I was shell shocked to react and took out my wallet like a zombie and handed out 5000 rupees.” Manish, a passenger flying from Delhi to Mumbai told.</p><p>All the male passengers had similar experiences to share and they demanded an explanation from the private airlines. When contacted by Faking News, the top management of all the major private air carriers conceded that the air hostesses were following directives issued by the companies. They justified their conduct by claiming it to be a democratic and decent method of protest.</p><p>“When we announced a general strike, a huge hue and cry was raised by the government and media. Under public pressure we had to call off the strike, but that doesn’t mean our grievances have been sorted out. The problems remain there and we continue to bleed. We had to find a mean to protest and we thought that asking for money after tying <em>rakhi</em> would send across the message strongly that the sector badly needs public funds.” Vijay Mallya, owner of Kingfisher Airlines told Faking News.</p><p>The airlines refused to divulge how much funds were collected through the <em>rakhi</em> tying drive. Sector experts believe that the drive, whenever it ends, could indeed amass funds that could prove very helpful to the industry, but the experts cautioned against a possible public backlash.</p><p>“One of the main reasons why a typical Indian male doesn’t travel by Indian Airlines is because their air hostesses appear <em>aunties</em> to them. This <em>rakhi</em> tying drive could turn the private airlines hostesses into <em>behenjis</em> for such males and it could impinge their decision to travel again by the same carrier. So while this drive may have sent across the bailout message loud and clear for now, it could prove detrimental in the long run.” Hawaijeet, an airlines analyst opined.</p><p>Officials in the Civil Aviation ministry too expressed surprise over the decision of the private airlines but they ruled out any punitive actions against the private carriers as prima facie the decision appeared legal to them. But the private airlines might face some serious trouble from the Income Tax department.</p><p>“We have to see under what category such earnings would fall. These earnings can’t be recognized as charity or donations as they surely were not voluntary. The airlines should have handed out receipts to the passengers who gave out <em>rakhi</em> money to the air hostesses. There are many more aspects that need to be investigated and we would soon start the inquiry.” an Income Tax official told Faking News.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-3297382490767113082009-08-04T12:55:00.005+05:302009-08-04T13:13:02.389+05:30Indian terror camps in Balochistan messed up in corruption<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDhuIu5BA-tO-uJPBKSo7CN0xGB72nm3_FXZbfiWu9uYNRy5nNXOqruCUiXjILK4czJ9VYlxwv3qerYFzZH57vUTtYn0aDQWskGNhnvHRmlDJyfCoqTe2o20VAC_NWEi2weIh8kjGZPE0/s1600-h/balochi.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 275px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDhuIu5BA-tO-uJPBKSo7CN0xGB72nm3_FXZbfiWu9uYNRy5nNXOqruCUiXjILK4czJ9VYlxwv3qerYFzZH57vUTtYn0aDQWskGNhnvHRmlDJyfCoqTe2o20VAC_NWEi2weIh8kjGZPE0/s320/balochi.jpg" border="0" title="Abdul, the friendly terrorist" alt="balochi"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366008355338433874" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">Quetta, Pakistan.</span> In a shocking discovery, Faking News has learnt that India is running absolutely pathetic terror camps in Balochistan province of Pakistan. The management of these camps is highly bureaucratic and operations are hopeless, ironically this is one of the reasons why Pakistan has not been able to prove anything till now. But according to our investigation, New Delhi has spent billions of Indian rupees over last seven years on these camps, but of no use.</p><p>Our investigations started after Pakistan allegedly handed over a mysterious dossier containing proofs of Indian involvement in running terror camps in Balochistan a couple of weeks back. Our undercover reporter faked being a porn CD supplier and reached interior areas of Balochistan to find out the truth, and the truth was shocking to say the least.</p><p>The terror camps in these areas were started by the Indian government seven years back but now they almost wear a deserted look. Our reporter found out that there were no basic amenities available at these camps and the terror trainers lacked any skills whatsoever.</p><p>“Those trainers seemed petty thieves and pickpockets from India, who had no knowledge on how to wage a guerilla warfare or stage mass murders. They tried to teach us operating hand-grenades and AK-47 rifles after reading shoddy teaching notes. Worst, we never got any hand-grenades or AK-47s to test our practical skills.” Abdul Balochi, an aspiring terrorist told us.</p><p>In course of our investigation, we found out, to our shock and disbelief, that RAW had billed millions of rupees to central government towards professional fees paid to these trainers, who were shown on paper as hardcore terrorists caught in Jammu & Kashmir. Central government was also billed a huge amount for arms and ammunitions supposedly given to the aspiring terrorists in Balochistan.</p><p>“That’s bullshit! Once we were told that hand-grenades had arrived. We ran out in excitement to open the boxes, only to find out that the boxes contained pomegranates. Later on we were told that it was due to a clerical error and won’t be repeated. When we asked if we could eat the pomegranates, we were asked to write applications in English, Hindi, Urdu, Balochi and Punjabi to seek permission. Neither hand-grenades nor pomegranates ever arrived after that.” Abdul shared his frustration.</p><p>These terror camps were supposed to pay a monthly stipend of 30,000 Indian rupees to all aspiring terrorists, and the government exchequer had thinned over past few years owing to this provision, but the ground reality, again, was far from what was shown on papers. Only a few of the trainees got the stipend, and that too of 3000 rupees. In fact, bungling was reported even in those 3000 rupees.</p><p>“Many times I was given fake Indian currencies. I could very well recognize them as my elder brother works in the Pakistani press where Indian fake currencies are printed. One of the 500 rupees note that I received had ‘<em>I love you Abdul</em>’ written on it. It was actually written by my girlfriend before we shipped the fake currencies to India. Apparently Indians write such slogans on currencies and we were told that such stuff would make the fake ones appear genuine to the Indian eyes.” Abdul spilled more beans.</p><p>Our investigations threw up many such startling facts that made Indian terror camps a hopeless case. The trainees of such camps were not skilled enough to even snatch wallets from Pakistani armymen, let alone liberate Balochistan. To the horror of locals, very soon coordinators of such shoddy terror camps started asking for bribes to induct new trainees. Such glaring incompetence and corruption levels saddened the locals, who slowly shifted their loyalties to Taliban, who were better in running such camps.</p><p>Currently the terror camps started by India are in dilapidated state and locals use it as a shade for their livestock. But the central government is still billed millions of rupees for the upkeep and operations of these camps. When we tried to contact RAW and government officials for their reactions over our findings, we were threatened to put behind bars for compromising with national security.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-35797906470424493132009-08-03T13:07:00.006+05:302009-08-03T18:07:37.063+05:30Man diagnosed with English speaking obsession beaten up<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghOi499DQ7HYm9A_crOJpOsRuqt8roVHhZqzdyBSHOtV98FlH30IK7ecDjLHxq0v9XgKpBuxR4SUVX7RA8X7tZUKalcg2JWc1Lz_ER_cPPbit2U5lJ8Jq4QFDhS2PiXXBXH3LjLeNkY9Y/s1600-h/english.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghOi499DQ7HYm9A_crOJpOsRuqt8roVHhZqzdyBSHOtV98FlH30IK7ecDjLHxq0v9XgKpBuxR4SUVX7RA8X7tZUKalcg2JWc1Lz_ER_cPPbit2U5lJ8Jq4QFDhS2PiXXBXH3LjLeNkY9Y/s320/english.jpg" border="0" title="The Holy Book" alt="english speaking"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5365641102313920626" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">Patna.</span> Nirad Pandey, a 39 year old father of three, who was recently diagnosed with an obsessive compulsive English speaking disorder (OCESD), suffered multiple injuries after he was thrashed black and blue by some miscreants near railway station. Nirad was reportedly arguing in English with the miscreants after they had passed some comments on him in Hindi. The argument got heated up after a while and finally ended up with nine fractured bones of Nirad in his limbs.</p><p>“They had called me <em>kameena</em> (rascal) and it riled me up. Those ugly mofos were sounding even fucking uglier as they spoke in Hindi with a fucking Bihari accent. How do you expect me to take some shit like this? I told those bloody bastards to mind their language or I’d have fucked their happiness by shoving pig sticks in their asses. Frustrated with my English speaking abilities, the wankers beat me up.” Nirad recounted his experience with the 'foul mouthed Hindi speaking <em>gundas</em>'.</p><p>Doctors of ‘<em>rajkiya swasthya mandir</em>’, the hospital where Nirad has been admitted by his family members, have declared him out of danger but advised a one week bed rest for him. Doctors fear that this incident could worsen the OCESD condition in Nirad.</p><p>As a school student, Nirad had won a three-day trip to England after winning a 'spoon with egg' race organized by a tour and travel company some twenty five years back. After returning from England, Nirad apparently developed a liking for speaking English in British accent with everyone. Slowly this liking grew into an obsessive compulsive disorder and Nirad refused to speak in Hindi with anyone.</p><p>Relatives say that the turning point in his condition was the incident where Nirad could score 66% more marks in his pre-board re-exams just because he answered all the questions in English in his second attempt. Nirad had confided to his family members that his new answers were nothing but mere a literal translation of his earlier answers in Hindi.</p><p>“This incident had a deep impact on Nirad and he refused to speak or write in Hindi after that. He even started talking to our maid in English. He used to have regular tiffs with people over speaking in English, especially his British accent. When he used to play cricket with friends, all the batsmen used to hard hit on his bowling as if they were hitting him in his face for his English, but such behavior only made him more resolute.” Nirad’s younger brother Niraj told Faking News.</p><p>Nirad had banned use of Hindi in his home and regularly used to beat up his kids for speaking in Hindi. This is the first time he has been beaten up for speaking in English.</p><p>“This won’t change anything. Hindi speaking fucktards lack confidence and they are plain jealous of people like us. They should raise their standards for god’s sake instead of trying to bring us down. This is so fucking disgusting and it can happen only in India.” Nirad expressed his frustration and appealed to Hindi speakers to gain some knowledge and culture.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-72916653843297085842009-08-01T19:02:00.004+05:302009-08-01T19:27:42.987+05:30Outrage over Prime Minister’s beer party with Emraan Hashmi<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5Odw2KmtzfjoldmQX99c9_IdbZinQmQaopX1BMClfHU507_NTw4F5iGbvRkY27vWEToZLW8fCAIg8zxH2QV3SYnTSPUp1Fd6P_th1PRwGEaImpo3Te7fHSo79OWG1gkB4eV0MULEc9Oc/s1600-h/emraan's_character_certificate.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 218px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5Odw2KmtzfjoldmQX99c9_IdbZinQmQaopX1BMClfHU507_NTw4F5iGbvRkY27vWEToZLW8fCAIg8zxH2QV3SYnTSPUp1Fd6P_th1PRwGEaImpo3Te7fHSo79OWG1gkB4eV0MULEc9Oc/s320/emraan's_character_certificate.jpg" border="0" title="I got the character certificate, now gimme the house!" alt="bad emraan?"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5364992917181908674" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">New Delhi.</span> The decision of Prime Minister Manmohan Singh to arrange a <a href="http://www.economist.com/world/unitedstates/displaystory.cfm?story_id=14154187" target="_blank">beer</a> party with Bollywood actor Emraan Hashmi and members of the housing society that allegedly refused Emraan a house for being a <a href="http://ibnlive.in.com/news/muslims-unwelcome-yes-says-emraan-hashmi/98289-8.html" target="_blank">Muslim</a>, has run into troubled waters. Although the decision was touted as a great step towards fostering communal harmony in the society, the same is now turning into a slugfest for religious beliefs.</p><p>Manmohan Singh’s original plan was to invite Emraan, members of the housing society, Mumbai Police officials, and a few religious leaders like Baba Ramdev from Hindu and Muslim sects over a beer party to discuss issues like religious discrimination of minorities. Prime Minister’s Office had claimed that Emraan would happily end up buying a house in the same society and all the religious leaders would jointly issue a statement appealing peaceful cohabitation of all Indians.</p><p>Prime Minister’s decision faced its first criticism when some Muslim groups objected to the presence of liquor based beverages in a party attended by as pious a Muslim as Emraan. These groups issued a <em>fatwa</em> that Emraan and other religious leaders would be boycotted by the Muslim society if they attended a party espousing consumption of liquor.</p><p>Before Emraan and others could react, Hindu groups retaliated with threats of mass agitation if Prime Minister succumbed to the unrealistic demands of Muslims. These groups lamented the culture of Muslim appeasement in India and insisted that not only liquor, pork should also have been a part of the menu of the beer party.</p><p>Although Baba Ramdev didn’t agree with such Hindu groups, he agreed that serving beer was a bad idea. Baba thought that beer made a person queer which had given rise to homosexuality in India. He instead suggested a joint <em>yoga</em> session of Emraan and the housing society members to ward off the differences. Sources inform that Baba Ramdev might throw his own party.</p><p>If these religious protests were not enough, liquor baron Vijay Mallya also joined the chorus and lambasted the PMO for having approached the Australian beer company Fosters for serving beer at the proposed party. Mallya accused the government of being insensitive towards domestic industries and declared that he would plan for a ‘beer black out’ on 18th August when all private airlines including his Kingfisher Airlines would go on a strike seeking a government bailout.</p><p>Following these reactions, PMO is in a fix over what to do with the proposed beer party. Emraan Hashmi too has gone into hiding and sources close to him say that he has dropped his plans to buy any house for the time being. Police arrested some Hindu and Muslim activists outside his house planning some kinds of protests. Fearing a public backlash, Prime Minister has appealed for communal harmony and suspended his beer party indefinitely.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-80468276316660320102009-07-31T12:07:00.004+05:302009-07-31T12:14:36.814+05:30No obscenity, striptease at Sourav’s followed Ganguly’s heroics<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8R72cevSh7jikg6Q7R9R_2-Z91VAjSRJczPHhNpX964InGFXnUsrDYxc2f7Ke22PXiCz-oH5zb63IliIDKH_y8Snso_0YSeAqeOV1g9TPcMbuRXUuA0WA4irSmph2kzOoApn_8IeqkUg/s1600-h/sourav_shirtless.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 206px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8R72cevSh7jikg6Q7R9R_2-Z91VAjSRJczPHhNpX964InGFXnUsrDYxc2f7Ke22PXiCz-oH5zb63IliIDKH_y8Snso_0YSeAqeOV1g9TPcMbuRXUuA0WA4irSmph2kzOoApn_8IeqkUg/s320/sourav_shirtless.jpg" border="0" title="dadagiri" alt="ganguly"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5364510667955185282" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">Kolkata.</span> Managers of <em>Sourav’s</em>, the restaurant owned by former Indian cricket team captain Sourav Ganguly, have rejected the <a href="http://www.indianexpress.com/news/Sting-op-puts-Sourav-s-under-the-scanner--Reports/496339/" target="_blank">claims</a> of a local television channel that the restaurant hosted exotic dancers and was engaged in flesh trade. <em>Sourav’s</em> had come under scanner after a Bengali television channel carried out a sting operation showing blurry visuals of dancers, who were apparently taking off their clothes in a vulgar manner while negotiating with ‘customers’.</p><p>“This is absurd and there clearly is a conspiracy behind it. We do have dancers performing at our restaurant during weekends. But they don’t indulge in striptease or pole dancing. They just take off their shirts like dada had done at Lord’s. We want our customers to never forget dada’s heroics and golden moments. How can it be deemed as obscene when the whole world had watched it several times?” restaurant manager wondered.</p><p>Ganguly’s supporters also think that the sting operation was carried out to malign their dada. They have demanded a CBI enquiry into the whole episode.</p><p>“The TV channel is being funded by foreigners. Either Buchanan or Chappell is behind this. These guys are just plain jealous and terrified with dada’s magic. Put them in <a href="http://www.fakingnews.com/2008/09/greg-chappell-arrested-for-espionage.html" target="_blank">jail</a>!” a dada supporter demanded.</p><p>Sourav Ganguly couldn’t be contacted for comments. BCCI declined to comment saying that since the incident didn’t happen on any of the BCCI owned restaurants, their hands were clean. When contacted by Faking News, Shahrukh Khan denied that the incident could negatively impact Sourav Ganguly’s chances to play for his IPL team next year but he expressed interest in hiring the restaurant dancers as cheerleaders for the next season of IPL.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-42188096264185378882009-07-30T15:22:00.005+05:302009-07-30T15:34:10.107+05:30Government launches mid-day snooze scheme for public offices<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjyDNUhQhH5ynTDOb7bM22OkITncrNoD-XdfeeMg69QShD_O_bH_qj_fLd0XdLotJw5NjdSpMy5Kw_LAvltHkIYYakMYpqhihqNmSMvPEQk9hb1Q1TV523VnI3tXkGGK2WhDrNbzTWK3E/s1600-h/sleeping_office.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 223px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjyDNUhQhH5ynTDOb7bM22OkITncrNoD-XdfeeMg69QShD_O_bH_qj_fLd0XdLotJw5NjdSpMy5Kw_LAvltHkIYYakMYpqhihqNmSMvPEQk9hb1Q1TV523VnI3tXkGGK2WhDrNbzTWK3E/s320/sleeping_office.jpg" border="0" title="Productivity exercises for employees" alt="sleeping"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5364190637513260354" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">New Delhi.</span> Encouraged by the reported success of <em>mid-day meal</em> scheme in schools towards improving education among underprivileged students, government has decided to implement <em>mid-day snooze</em> scheme in public offices that is aimed at improving productivity among underperforming public servants. The scheme will officially empower public servants with a right to sleep in their offices for at least one hour each day.</p><p>Although the practice of taking a mid-day snooze in offices has been rampant for various years now, the government believes that legalizing the slumber in offices will improve the morale and dignity of its employees, apart from productivity. If the results of the scheme are found favorable, the scheme would be turned into a law enabling every employee, either in public or private sector, to rightfully sleep during office hours.</p><p>“We had been facing a lot of complaints about public servants sleeping in offices. Our officials confessed that work made them comatose, which left us only with two options – either to let them <em>not</em> work or to let them sleep. We chose the first solution and instructed our officials to ignore work, but there was huge public hue and cry over it, so now we are left with no other option.” a labor ministry communiqué said.</p><p>The ministry also believes that the hitherto sleeping in the public offices filled the government employees with a sense of guilt, for sleeping was not officially sanctioned, but with the <em>mid-day snooze</em> scheme coming into effect, the officials will no longer feel guilty and thus it would do wonders to their morale and self-respect. But not many agree with this logic.</p><p>“This is bullshit! These guys have always slept as if it was their birthright to do so. Where was the guilt? I surely couldn’t sense any. In fact we were made to feel guilty because we disturbed their sleep! I don’t think this scheme makes any sense, but yeah, maybe they should enforce this in the private sector as employers there don’t allow us poor employees to sleep even during the night.” Vijay Faryal, a sales executive working with a shampoo company opined.</p><p>Faryal was joined by many other citizens who also thought that government decision was ‘misplaced’. Some sociologists too criticized the government for entertaining and yielding to basic instincts of common citizens for encouraging activities like professional work and education.</p><p>“<em>Mid-day meal</em> scheme itself was flawed. Schools became appealing to the stomach instead of one’s brains. Now we have <em>mid-day snooze</em> scheme for employees. What next? <em>Mid-night sex</em> scheme to improve adult education?” British Kandy, a popular sociologist wondered.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-23360681889369508222009-07-29T13:05:00.004+05:302009-07-30T00:19:18.382+05:30Anil Ambani removes brother Mukesh from facebook friends list<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt5BRFPtiyYii-TxEej6PfkyVT0KeBd-F-CB-jvgmEmpVei6AJCere_1cTgO11bMD0yBEvPh8Kt8kosUR8zHbowgL1vP8FZykFgW2evyKpVR5lsx52y4UTzx91UP0vpCToqKSxhbsVSy0/s1600-h/ambanis.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 168px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt5BRFPtiyYii-TxEej6PfkyVT0KeBd-F-CB-jvgmEmpVei6AJCere_1cTgO11bMD0yBEvPh8Kt8kosUR8zHbowgL1vP8FZykFgW2evyKpVR5lsx52y4UTzx91UP0vpCToqKSxhbsVSy0/s320/ambanis.jpg" border="0" title="Social Nitpicking" alt="ambanis"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363790456644944626" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mumbai.</span> In a shocking development that could push the Sensex down by 213 points and push oil prices up by 2.13 rupees per liter, ADAG Chairman Anil Ambani removed his elder brother and Chief of RIL Mukesh Ambani from his facebook friends list. This act of showing public displeasure with his brother comes close after Anil had accused Mukesh of indulging in ‘dishonorable conduct’ during the annual general meeting of RNRL <a href="http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/Anil-Ambani-puts-Deora-in-gas-chamber/articleshow/4832275.cms" target="_blank">yesterday</a>.</p><p>A press release issued by ADAG for this purpose claimed that Anil was mighty ‘pissed off’ with the facebook activities of Mukesh during the past few weeks. Mukesh had apparently voted down Anil in the ‘nicest person contest’ and ignored his requests to become a fan of ADAG pages. The release also claimed that Mukesh had tagged Anil as an unidentified ‘waiter’ in pictures showing Mukesh and Petroleum Minister Murli Deora having dinner together in a restaurant.</p><p>“Honorable Mr. Anil Ambani was very disappointed by such activities and he got shock of his life when Mukesh invited him to play <em>Mafia Wars</em> and <em>Monopoly</em> on facebook. Our group is a law respecting organization and such proposals were clearly a repulsive dig at our ethical standards. Following this, Honorable Mr. Anil Ambani decided to remove Mukesh from his friends list.” the press release elaborated.</p><p>Sources at ADAG further informed that removal from friends list was just a warning and if Mukesh did not mend his ways, Anil could as well remove him from orkut list and stop following him on twitter. Sources did not rule out the possibility of Anil removing Murli Deora from his list as well.</p><p>The spat between the brothers has worried market watches who feel that the development could seriously impinge India’s assumed recovery from the economic slowdown. Experts are divided over the culpability of either of the brothers on the issue but want the government to intervene and broker peace between them.</p><p>Sources in the government refused to comment on the issue because of the subject being sub-judice, but Petroleum Minister did react by writing “<em>best of luck</em>” on the facebook wall of Anil Ambani. Anil had not replied to the comment till reports last came in.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-50153436750569148452009-07-28T12:28:00.004+05:302009-07-28T12:47:19.425+05:30Reality show winner wants government to respect privacy<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNHGMlFf2Itrt9GycbGMskUJqZEX2chAqsJYuHtI5SW0dTfko7QVdaOIirTlTEvxq0-K7d7bPiKmXLvpJ_7n-1832XGzm3e-3GDGjgsaVz203g2oGourTW-J5ZTH1NstN2mPs6bvxib2U/s1600-h/sach-ka-samna.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNHGMlFf2Itrt9GycbGMskUJqZEX2chAqsJYuHtI5SW0dTfko7QVdaOIirTlTEvxq0-K7d7bPiKmXLvpJ_7n-1832XGzm3e-3GDGjgsaVz203g2oGourTW-J5ZTH1NstN2mPs6bvxib2U/s320/sach-ka-samna.jpg" border="0" title="Pursuit of Truth" alt="Pursuit of Truth"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363403348954096034" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mumbai.</span> Harishchandra Sachbola, the man who shot to fame by becoming the first person to win one crore rupees in the reality show “<em>Sach Ka Saamna</em>”, believes that government must not snoop into the private lives of the citizens of India under the pretext of matters of national concern and security. Sachbola was addressing media persons after having won the reality show.</p><p>“It’s absolutely disgusting to see government agencies tapping your phones or reading your mails in the name of national security and legal inquiry. Why are they so interested in my personal life? How does it matter to the nation what kind of relationships I have with my friends and relatives? The state can’t be allowed to do such things and I urge all progressive persons to unite against this state sponsored voyeurism.” Sachbola appealed.</p><p>Harishchandra Sachbola, who works as a marketing manager in an MNC in Delhi, claimed that he had always suspected government intentions and had taken part in various online campaigns to protect individual privacy. Sachbola gave out URLs of thirteen of his blogs which he thought media persons would be interested in reporting about. Some of the blogs had sensational stories of Sachbola’s past affairs apart from his views on human, animal and gay rights.</p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt2Okr0rd78pvZHXIbH0XX2Smp6hX-eXQmCZhbGa-3cTqHeoGDqT-3PS7RIyj96dM1WezNpAUJsHN2MVIdqOpLCf5uzgO17hmG32Nx9mLw-XyZZUgsxRZ6WbcRHaHw977A12jaLTzqkpk/s1600-h/Sach_Ka_Saamna_levels.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 234px; height: 251px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt2Okr0rd78pvZHXIbH0XX2Smp6hX-eXQmCZhbGa-3cTqHeoGDqT-3PS7RIyj96dM1WezNpAUJsHN2MVIdqOpLCf5uzgO17hmG32Nx9mLw-XyZZUgsxRZ6WbcRHaHw977A12jaLTzqkpk/s320/Sach_Ka_Saamna_levels.JPG" border="0" title="Hierarchy of Truth" alt="Hierarchy of Truth"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363402707117750210" /></a>Earlier Harishchandra Sachbola ‘correctly’ answered all the twenty one questions related to his private, social and professional life to win the reality show. In course of answering the questions, he accepted that his son sucked like a leech and that he covetously wished he had slept with the hot wife of his best friend. He also thought that his dad took premature retirement to free ride on his money.</p><p>Sachbola’s family members, who were present during the reality show and cried at regular intervals, expressed happiness over his victory. They thought that Sachbola was an obsessive compulsive truth speaker and seeker, and his sentiments should be respected by everyone. Sachbola himself agreed that he liked speaking the 'truth'.</p><p> “I enjoyed answering all questions. I’m an independent man and I don’t care what the society thinks about me. At least I have the guts to speak the truth that other people simply avoid. They didn’t ask else I wanted to tell the truth about Brahmins and Muslims. Man, they suck!” Sachbola expressed the desire to speak more truths.</p><p>He also declared that he would use the prize money to help treat people who were pathological liars and didn’t tell their wives about the porn-stars they fantasized while having sex with them. He appealed to the television channel broadcasting the show to help him find a partner hospital that could sponsor his therapeutic campaign for the betterment of the society.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-87679204468664256652009-07-25T16:30:00.004+05:302009-07-25T16:51:31.511+05:30MPs express concern over pigeons making love in public<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX_NqA7AZaBb-U8Yz7QdH9MXVf0I9z2u1PnrIZmilxD6Fp8QEhk2MLSmDXe1edR2BHXKwNfdPd7VWG3d8tYGjiVIigTQjRuZX7P606nJVujcjssPuAKDKSTGWQFtOW6IvZBtMFHcU8SMU/s1600-h/pigeon_kiss.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 230px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX_NqA7AZaBb-U8Yz7QdH9MXVf0I9z2u1PnrIZmilxD6Fp8QEhk2MLSmDXe1edR2BHXKwNfdPd7VWG3d8tYGjiVIigTQjRuZX7P606nJVujcjssPuAKDKSTGWQFtOW6IvZBtMFHcU8SMU/s320/pigeon_kiss.jpg" border="0" title="Pigeon Kiss" alt="Pigeon Kiss"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5362352973373969634" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">New Delhi.</span> Parliament proceedings were disrupted for more than three hours after some members accused the government of not doing enough to control shameless <a href="http://movies.rediff.com/report/2009/jul/23/politicians-want-ban-on-sach-ka-saamna.htm" target="_blank">pigeons</a> making love in public places at various places in India. These members suggested that such immoral and irresponsible behavior by the pigeons caused embarrassment to the Indian families and had the potential to defile the minds of young children. Members wanted a law to rein in the offensive birds by regulating their aberrant activities.</p><p>“I can’t understand what good these obnoxious birds do to humankind? They eat food grains and poop everywhere, even on our heads. These crooks simply don’t care how their actions can affect us. Can you even imagine how disgusting it is when your three year old kid points to love-making pigeons and asks you what are those birds doing? Is this the way we want our kids to grow and learn?” Kaboot Aryan, a member of parliament argued angrily.</p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvUoeFtOaSWi_BItNvz3lRO8vajJ7JleN85ZT8GM-H8pIaaRDIHQ-FsWcKn4qwBy94qQgH8sYNn4_ww0aGYPMh_YIikJOyT9J4Y8XkOtjxtofUOZo8NAQAKOXPPmEljeAG9UcouLzsdxU/s1600-h/human_kiss.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 209px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvUoeFtOaSWi_BItNvz3lRO8vajJ7JleN85ZT8GM-H8pIaaRDIHQ-FsWcKn4qwBy94qQgH8sYNn4_ww0aGYPMh_YIikJOyT9J4Y8XkOtjxtofUOZo8NAQAKOXPPmEljeAG9UcouLzsdxU/s320/human_kiss.jpg" border="0" title="Human Kiss" alt="Human Kiss"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5362352796172996930" /></a>Mr. Aryan further argued that tolerance towards such behavior by pigeons has sent wrong signals abroad about accepted social norms in the Indian culture. He claimed that Hollywood star Richard Gere must had seen pigeons kissing each other openly and would have thought pubic kissing to be acceptable in India, following which he went on to kiss Indian actress Shilpa Shetty in a pigeon style.</p><p>“Thank god he just saw the pigeons, or god knows what would have happened!” Mr. Aryan lamented, drawing ‘shame shame’ calls from other members of parliament.</p><p>Following the pandemonium, the government assured the members that it will look into the matter seriously and find out ways to discipline the pigeons and educate them about Indian culture. In all probabilities, resident groups of pigeons could be sent show-cause notices by the government, along with a statutory warning.</p><p>While the decision of the government has come under sharp criticism from some pro-pigeon groups in media, many people welcomed the decision of the government terming it as a ‘relief’.</p><p>“I have been sick of these ubiquitous and iniquitous birds. They had once pooped into my cheese pizza and I couldn’t even distinguish that shit from cheese. My friends made life hell for me after that, I’m still the laughing stock of my college. These birds have no sense or sensibility, they deserve to be punished.” said a college student, though he couldn’t recall having been distracted or disgusted by love making of pigeons.</p><p>Most of the people welcoming the government decision had problems with pigeon poops, even though a majority of them thought that pigeon mating was ‘cool’. But they agreed that young Indian children could have adverse impacts on their emotions if they saw pigeons mating in public.</p><p>“They make eggs, what else?” said three year old Aryan when Faking News correspondent asked if he knew what pigeons did by climbing over each other.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-12698936519575336242009-07-24T00:37:00.004+05:302009-07-24T02:17:50.372+05:30Some Orissa MLA could be an Ichchhadhaari Naag<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL_No_uBd3PfEZPaTybJVLiI5f-RuoDNiytsec7I64mPsZUOJeeiR39PgW-JodYZCrdVAOQ37xYJBEVcbH9aK7w7f8MTg99rkr8eB_SdZ1JCE7hUZOjJl2QKi6j4gQu5GfznJsvt3uLdg/s1600-h/transformer.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL_No_uBd3PfEZPaTybJVLiI5f-RuoDNiytsec7I64mPsZUOJeeiR39PgW-JodYZCrdVAOQ37xYJBEVcbH9aK7w7f8MTg99rkr8eB_SdZ1JCE7hUZOjJl2QKi6j4gQu5GfznJsvt3uLdg/s320/transformer.jpg" border="0" title="An artist's impression of the self transforming snake MLA" alt="snakeman"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361758563949291106" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bhubaneswar.</span> Various people have expressed concerns and fears over the possibility of a certain Orissa MLA being an <em>Ichchhadhaari Naag</em> (self transforming snake). Such concerns were raised after a snake was spotted by a few people inside the state <a href="http://www.ndtv.com/news/offbeat/snake_halts_orissa_assembly_proceedings.php" target="_blank">assembly</a> on Thursday morning. A massive search operation followed to catch the snake but the assembly staff could not even spot the elusive snake again. This gave rise to speculations that the snake was actually some MLA who had the will power of transforming shapes.</p><p>“How can a snake simply vanish in the assembly? We all know that after attack on the parliament, all places visited by politicians were made absolutely safe and secure. It simply can’t happen that the security could be breached by a lowly snake. It must have been the work of an insider and the only logical conclusion is that some member of the house is actually a snake!” an assembly staff told on conditions of anonymity.</p><p>The possibility of a self transforming snake sharing the benches with them has left the Orissa MLAs worried and upset. The members have asked the Speaker to call an emergency meeting with mandatory attendance of all members, where a snake-charmer would inspect all the MLAs for being a snake. The snake-charmer would blow his <em>been</em> (a flute like instrument with a bulging belly) causing the self transforming snake MLA to involuntarily start dancing to his tunes, thus getting spotted.</p><p>But some members have objected to the idea of MLAs being given the certificate of being a human by a snake-charmer. These members believe that such a step violated the privileges enjoyed by the distinguished representatives of the citizens of India.</p><p>“It’s an exercise in futility. Even if some MLA is a snake, how does it matter? No MLA or MP can be disqualified or arrested for being a snake! First of all let there be a law in this country barring poisonous beings from entering state assemblies or the parliament. In absence of such a law, even if any MLA is identified as snake, what purpose will it serve?” Nagnath, an independent MLA opined.</p><p>But not many people are yet ready to believe the self transforming snake theory. These people refuse to believe that an MLA could have such a strong will power to self transform his or her bodily shapes. Instead they believe that the snake was actually an <em>“aasteen ka saanp”</em> and must have sneaked into the sleeves of some MLA.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-67478043549486407982009-07-22T17:05:00.008+05:302009-07-25T18:37:42.693+05:30Rakhi Sawant marries wrong guy due to solar eclipse<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBk7UYMs8ODUbodCSU3jQrzEbBw6rAwxUczujg-gRDj7vSHtrE9eONGDuEGRKdyY8uWB8bZ5WJtS3aTdriwcd30MVbBTqdIhOrZzFW2jl-DLqVNMfmxfadQZNO_y3V8qC35f_8olPQeFE/s1600-h/rakhikapati.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBk7UYMs8ODUbodCSU3jQrzEbBw6rAwxUczujg-gRDj7vSHtrE9eONGDuEGRKdyY8uWB8bZ5WJtS3aTdriwcd30MVbBTqdIhOrZzFW2jl-DLqVNMfmxfadQZNO_y3V8qC35f_8olPQeFE/s320/rakhikapati.jpg" border="0" title="Rakhi Ka Pati?" alt="Rakhi Ka Pati"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361247493855206834" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">Udaipur.</span> The shooting for final episode of “Rakhi Ka Swayamvar” took a bizarre turn when Rakhi Sawant put the garland around the wrong guy’s neck, apparently due to poor visibility arising out of solar eclipse. The ‘wrong’ guy has been identified as Jebu Kataria, a popular pickpocket of Udaipur city, who had gone to the shooting spot, allegedly to pick pockets of unsuspecting bystanders. Jebu is now insisting that Rakhi was his legal bride and he’d do everything to ‘reclaim’ her.</p><p>The final episode was designed to have three surviving suitors standing next to each other while Rakhi headed enigmatically towards them to garland and choose one of them as her life partner, thus bringing an end to the reality show. Things unfolded just according to the script, until the solar eclipse played the spoilsport. It is still unclear how Jebu suddenly appeared at the scene during the eclipse only to end up being garlanded and becoming ‘the chosen one’ of Rakhi.</p><p>“He is a <em>chor</em> (thief)! When he saw darkness due to the eclipse, he tried to pick the pocket of Elesh (one of the suitors who is a businessman from Canada). I couldn’t see his face in darkness and garlanded him by mistake. I’m not going to marry that ugly <em>chor</em> at all! Rakhi Sawant deserves nothing less than a handsome hearty and honest King.” Rakhi fumed and alleged that Jebu had gone to the shooting spot to pick pockets.</p><p>But Jebu Kataria begs to differ. He categorically denied that he had any intentions of picking pockets when he sneaked into the shooting space. He says he was ‘divinely guided’ into his deeds.</p><p>“As soon as the Sun God got behind the Moon God, I could feel a strange force urging me to go near Rakhi. In that darkness, I could see Rakhi’s face glowing like neon signs. A divine message encrypted in those signs read that I and Rakhi were made for each other. I felt my feet moving by themselves towards Rakhi and I’m sure that it was God who guided Rakhi’s hands to put the garland around my neck. Rakhi is meant to be mine.” Jebu claimed.</p><p>Interestingly all the surviving suitors have declined to comment over the development. According to well placed sources, no one of the three is insisting that Rakhi should get another chance to pick her husband amongst them. All of them were busy packing their bags to go back and didn’t talk to media. One of the shooting crew members told Faking News that the suitors had refused to take part in any re-shoot as they believed that the show had reached its logical conclusion.</p><p>Legal experts have expressed differing opinions over the legality and validity of the marriage of Rakhi Sawant with Jebu Kataria. While some of the experts believed that Rakhi was not bound to marry Jebu just because he was garlanded, there were other who believed that the marriage was just and legal as per Hindu marriage act and Rakhi will have to accept Jebu as her husband.</p><p>Meanwhile residents of Udaipur were pleased at the possibility of Jebu getting married to Rakhi.</p><p>“Good riddance!” told one of the residents excitedly, though he denied explaining whether he meant it for Jebu or Rakhi.</p><p><center><a href="http://blog.blogadda.com/2009/07/25/blogaddas-spicy-saturday-picks-jul-25-09"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 175px; height: 54px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXLGIHR69xfueHucL6xvEeahwbnR-jTE6u2Mcs6jY8c_mS3YAPJ8QWf1qSTuTotSy_90X7uLmu8oW_mx5cSIJMb9Uw2xWuOq8GDPD8T1LZ4F11YxOOtls2avu_O1hUNB4si79TYhyphenhyphenF1ew/s320/ssp.jpg" border="0" title="Spicy Saturday Picks by BlogAdda" alt="Spicy Saturday Picks"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5362382203141891730" /></a></p></center></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-19488794097146827872009-07-17T14:53:00.005+05:302009-07-17T15:03:29.620+05:30Mayawati launches MAREGA to counter Congress’ NREGA<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja1ZrAYGcDRJ7OWUujOS0L6r6V-dV85JmbiUhxTfzAL5txtrX8daUUFk_SAxHh7HURjFRKbQ8tTrRfeJPN3yOfzUbo6l4QqVOq9BcqOGGW9Q3lotRSk-9wFWlEGW7PkItDFLW0ngK7y7Q/s1600-h/Maya_Rita.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 175px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja1ZrAYGcDRJ7OWUujOS0L6r6V-dV85JmbiUhxTfzAL5txtrX8daUUFk_SAxHh7HURjFRKbQ8tTrRfeJPN3yOfzUbo6l4QqVOq9BcqOGGW9Q3lotRSk-9wFWlEGW7PkItDFLW0ngK7y7Q/s320/Maya_Rita.jpg" border="0" title="Zabaan Sambhaal Ke!" alt="Mayawati vs Rita"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5359357570232646466" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lucknow.</span> Kumari Mayawati, Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh, has taken strong objection to the State Congress chief Rita Bahuguna Joshi’s <a href="http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/NEWS-India-UP-Congress-chief-insults-Mayawati-injures-party/articleshow/4787225.cms" target="_blank">comments</a> over the amount of compensation given out to rape victims in the state. Ms. Joshi had declared that the compensation amount was not consistent with provisions of NREGA (National Rape Ex-gratia Gauging Act). NREGA aims to value dignity of rural women in case of rape and Ms. Joshi was one of the central policymakers who drafted the act.</p><p>Ms. Joshi, an obvious expert on NREGA, also valued the dignity of Mayawati at 1 crore Rupees using the intrinsic formula suggested in the Act. Angered by Joshi’s comments and under valuation of her dignity, Mayawati has now announced MAREGA (Mayawati Approved Rita’s Educational Grooming Act) to counter use of NREGA by Congress leaders for petty political gains. MAREGA is targeted against Congress leaders in general and Rita Bahuguna Joshi in particular.</p><p>Immediately after the announcement of MAREGA, Rita Bahuguna Joshi was arrested under the provisions of the act and sent to jail. Her house was also burnt down and valuables looted. Government officials expressed confidence that these acts would help Ms. Joshi realize her mistake. And it indeed seemed to work as later both Ms. Joshi and Congress President Sonia Gandhi expressed regret over Ms. Joshi’s comments.</p><p>“MAREGA will continue in force until every Congress worker is civilized. Respected Madam Soniaji has gone mad and it was her who directed Rita to utter those comments. Respected Madam Soniaji too needs some educational grooming. I have heard that her <span style="font-style:italic;">Yuvraaj</span> (Rahul Gandhi) is coming to Uttar Pradesh to protest MAREGA provisions. Let him read the act carefully before taking any step.” Mayawati cautioned.</p><p>Meanwhile Congress workers have decided to oppose MAREGA by applying the provisions of the act against Mayawati herself and BSP workers. The leaders have threatened to launch an agitation unless the Chief Minister voluntarily accepts Sonia Gandhi’s and Rita Bahuguna Joshi’s apologies.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-38668614714626868342009-07-16T17:33:00.004+05:302009-07-16T17:49:06.737+05:30“Non aligned countries should justify themselves”<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIZ3aFzKmCu13tsj2dlDO9m9faOKnKD5lwydo86CBugYrTrSuTdO3QPJMQlB999XyAnhc-uzooHS_hixVmlUhzknJfwpI0JRBtSgKrfwjnmBHxYQ-FCuAkHHbkyAmtv5-2lG9OvEeESlk/s1600-h/NAM.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 283px; height: 263px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIZ3aFzKmCu13tsj2dlDO9m9faOKnKD5lwydo86CBugYrTrSuTdO3QPJMQlB999XyAnhc-uzooHS_hixVmlUhzknJfwpI0JRBtSgKrfwjnmBHxYQ-FCuAkHHbkyAmtv5-2lG9OvEeESlk/s320/NAM.jpg" border="0" title="(NAM) Not Any More?" alt="NAM"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5359027983315013698" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">Sharm-el-Sheikh, Egypt.</span> Leading graphic designers and publishers from around the world have called for an end to the non-aligned movement. These men believe that the concept of non-alignment has lost its relevance and significance in the modern times when typesetting has reached new levels. Such thoughts were echoed at the annual meeting of the representatives from the so-called non-aligned software companies of the world.</p><p>“The world has moved much ahead of alignment and today there are much more vital stuff to discuss like embossing, bevelling, stroking, or even the basic issues like style-sheets and templates. Who cares about alignment? You could be left aligned, right aligned or centrally aligned, it’s your choice. Why be so shy to display your alignment? And if there is some reason why one wants to hide the alignment, better <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justification_(typesetting)" target="_blank">justify</a> yourself.” one of the delegates at the non-aligned meeting told.</p><p>The delegates argued that issues like alignment were relevant to the times when there were very few word processors available and that too with nothing but basic formatting functions available. There was a time when only two big companies in the word processing business existed – one headquartered at Moscow that had left-alignment as the default format, and the other one headquartered at Washington that had right-alignment as the default format.</p><p>These two companies wanted all the new companies or engineers working on word processing software to either join them or be wiped out of business. Frustrated with such state of affairs, some activists believing in open-source and GNU licensing started the non-aligned movement, which was very attractive to begin with. These activists came forward and started distributing word processing software for free, which had no text alignment as the default format.</p><p>The movement gradually gained steam and more and more engineers and smaller companies joined hands. Many counties officially adopted these word processing software, these countries were later called as the non-aligned countries.</p><p>Ultimately the monopoly of the two big companies withered away, resulting in the issue of alignment being pushed away to the sidelines. Therefore the delegates suggested that the non-aligned movement should be buried respectfully and the participating companies should concentrate on other aspects of business while furthering the basic philosophy of open-source software.</p><p>The top management of the participating companies are yet to comment on the suggestion, and it seems that such non-aligned meetings would continue to happen until the top bosses take a decision. Meanwhile, some business did happen at the meeting, with companies from India and Pakistan agreeing for link and banner exchange to foster better ties.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-3255434199036719582009-07-13T14:01:00.005+05:302009-07-13T14:31:38.049+05:30Bacardi to sponsor Liberhan Commission report<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbcVnsuVeKIHFyptZrTTwBPzk3DKKmOk7_CXreaFYMyH1GHZPWKRM0iydwp_mxI-pIK6gX0iBvVQp5JZ_YZzSLg_OXfMH2Dc1zWQOHzOExsvu-TJHuvp3jL-twTTYKnJ7P9Tnwvx6PZy8/s1600-h/BacardiLogo2008.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 280px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbcVnsuVeKIHFyptZrTTwBPzk3DKKmOk7_CXreaFYMyH1GHZPWKRM0iydwp_mxI-pIK6gX0iBvVQp5JZ_YZzSLg_OXfMH2Dc1zWQOHzOExsvu-TJHuvp3jL-twTTYKnJ7P9Tnwvx6PZy8/s320/BacardiLogo2008.jpg" border="0" title="In the name of Ram and Rum" alt="Bacardi"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5357860707956147906" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">New Delhi.</span> The central government might finally make the findings of the Liberhan Commission report public. The commission was constituted to investigate reasons, roles and events that led to the demolition of Babri Masjid on 6 December 1992, and had submitted its report to the Prime Minister last month. There had been demands to make the findings of the report public since then and our sources confirm that the report could indeed be made public in a few days.</p><p>Our sources further inform that the government is currently busy finalizing sponsorship deals with various groups for the public release of the report, and it seems that the deal would be bagged by the Bermuda based spirits company Bacardi. Both these events – sponsorship of the report and public release of the findings – would be soon announced in a press conference.</p><p>This would mean that there would be big logos and pictures of Bacardi brands in the backdrop at the launch event. The front page of the report would mention “Bacardi presents” and each page will have watermark of Bacardi logo. Since journalists don’t like reading full reports and prefer trusting summaries written by the government, a small booklet named “Bacardi Blasts” would be released containing highlights of the findings. Furthermore, the report will refer to the persons implicated by the commission for the Babri demolition as “Bacardi Boys”.</p><p>This sponsorship deal has been reportedly valued at 16 crore rupees by the government and our sources inform that Bacardi might fall in with without much negotiation. If the deal goes through, Liberhan Commission would be the first and the only commission in the history of independent India to have earned profits for the government.</p><p>It should be noted that Liberhan Commission, a one man commission, was expected to submit its report in February 1993 itself, within three months of its constitution. But it took around 17 years to complete the report and cost the government a whopping 8 crore rupees. But with this deal, the commission would actually help the government make 8 crore rupees over the expenses.</p><p>“Our target is to bring down the fiscal deficit this budgetary year and such steps are going to help us realize this goal. There are many commissions who have not yet submitted their reports and we would strive for similar deals with all of them. UPA government will change the definition of such commissions.” an officer at the PMO told on conditions of anonymity.</p><p>Bacardi’s sponsorship of Liberhan Commission report is expected to heat up the competition in the Indian beverages and liquor market. Market analysts believe that this is the first time a group would strongly challenge Dr. Vijay Mallya’s innovative marketing strategies and give the UB group a run for their money.</p><p>“Mallya had always used Sex and Cricket for marketing as Indians are very interested in both, and he was right too. But Religion and Politics are two other things that Indians love even more than Cricket and sometimes even Sex. While Dr. Mallya had unsuccessfully tried politics and kept away from religion, Bacardi has struck a masterstroke with this deal.” Marketing guru Suhail Seth told.</p><p>Management of Bacardi is also upbeat about the prospects and feels that this sponsorship deal will strongly entrench the company into the Indian mindset, making them the market leaders. Management believes that since the Babri issue is not expected to be resolved in any foreseeable future, the company can reap the benefits of this sponsorship for an indefinite time period. They denied the possibility that Bacardi could antagonize either Hindus or Muslims by such sponsorships.</p><p>“We have always believed in walking the middle path. You might know that we had good relationship with both Fidel Castro as well as the <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/21/AR2008082102222.html" target="_blank">CIA</a>. So there is no reason why we can’t take the middle path here. This is just a shift from <em>Rum and Revolution</em> to <em>Rum and Religion</em> in our approach, which we think will surely work in India. And hasn’t one of your poets written that Temples and Mosques created differences among people while Liquor united them?” Bacardi chairman Facundo L. Bacardi quoted Harivansh Rai Bachchan’s lines from <em>Madhushala</em>.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-69411530009055973532009-07-11T14:22:00.004+05:302009-07-11T14:48:50.742+05:30Obama, Sarkozy discuss the G8 girl<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaw6XFVX8dxM5RD5NZyAgT6DMiraAmtdRUNGl0kknX3OxoILAJjI6vQQU4ht6BmpyyB9qutk_WQTyU4kfryaP-Sa-L00Gu0a7ceq7B-0QK9RHswz3gmXZzPXoKnfKE9ofNCha-NTgNE74/s1600-h/obumma.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 369px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaw6XFVX8dxM5RD5NZyAgT6DMiraAmtdRUNGl0kknX3OxoILAJjI6vQQU4ht6BmpyyB9qutk_WQTyU4kfryaP-Sa-L00Gu0a7ceq7B-0QK9RHswz3gmXZzPXoKnfKE9ofNCha-NTgNE74/s400/obumma.jpg" border="0" title="O'bum'a?" alt="Obumma"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5357124300499710706" /></a></p><p><em><center>Was it G8 or G5 or G14? Whatever it was, but it was all bout <b>G</b>(irl).</center></em></p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-73447554944341684722009-07-11T13:57:00.005+05:302009-07-11T14:05:51.336+05:30Post Nilekanai, Infosys announces impressive growth<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEJD7Agd1vhF4VzFFqscUSuGkKeWp-UsEKKCl7zDtjCziLlllCuyIR7lDt7Cz_wgpMcW9OrVunxbtfa05OxaOWaWzoRdkVb3NdmrZQo07X2pOpjAWTVjHWNABliLHlymDjsRLuFUCUqUU/s1600-h/nandan.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEJD7Agd1vhF4VzFFqscUSuGkKeWp-UsEKKCl7zDtjCziLlllCuyIR7lDt7Cz_wgpMcW9OrVunxbtfa05OxaOWaWzoRdkVb3NdmrZQo07X2pOpjAWTVjHWNABliLHlymDjsRLuFUCUqUU/s320/nandan.jpg" border="0" title="I lost my identity today! he he he!" alt="nilekani"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5357117781252625826" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bangalore.<span style="font-weight:bold;"></span></span> Software giant Infosys declared its Q1 results, registering a net rise in profits by more than 17% over last year. This is a good number. All the software farmers were happy as if they received the first shower of monsoon. The Sensex also responded positively and gained some points on this. Infosys shares were up by 4%. Market gazers believe that these days the quarter results declaration is more or less like a festival. People wait for it as if it is Diwali, Eid, Pongal or Christmas.</p><p>"It is indeed a good sign of recovery" echoed the freshers who have got the offer letter in their hands. Some of them have laminated it as they are not getting the confirmed joining date and it was proving to be difficult to preserve the cheap quality of paper.</p><p>Infosys CFO Mr. Vibin Balakrishnan expressed his happiness on the report and said that it indeed matched the mandatory growth rate defined by the UPA government. Talking exclusively to Faking News, Mr. Balakrishnan revealed that the removal of Nandan Nilekani was a deliberate step forced by the government to boost the account books of Infosys aka Railways under Lalu Yadav.<br />“Nandan Nilekani’s salary and perks were astronomically high and if we wouldn't have done it a day before the quarter results, we would not have been able to paint an optimistic growth picture for the next quarter. Now the UPA will take care of him, his wife, his mother and his kids from Yale University.” Mr. Balakrishnan expressed hope and confidence.</p><p>Infosys CEO S. Gopalakrishnan also addressed media persons on this occasion and shared his vision and plans of bagging some more projects from the government now that there was an insider (sic.) among the babus. He promised that the freshers would soon get joining dates, but advised them to not to get too excited over the possibility.</p><p>Now the market is waiting for Wipro results with bated breath. After seeing all the quarterly reports, BATA consultancy Services (BCS) will publish its own reports. BCS is keeping mum on the new deal sign offs. It bagged the Ferrari deal in the previous quarter. COO of BCS, Chandru confirmed to us that the company had bagged another multi-million rupee deal from Lambretta Scooters. This has not yet been announced as they are in the silent period before the quarters result. The challenge of this project will be to get the ageing Lambretta scooters on the road.</p><p><em>(Submitted by the correspondent 'Idiot Box' through <a href="http://www.fakingnews.com/2008/09/write-for-us.html">electronic mail</a> from the Electronic City)</em></p></div>Guest Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09668014407800389551noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-44447404265144491822009-07-10T01:29:00.007+05:302009-07-10T01:38:41.252+05:30John Abraham has the sexiest armpit: Rediff poll<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxYVnQX_NT4W7zkJJJyR7mnzRVl3_Pa69JdcdTx2bfcdFtnAGmLPrbpFrnIgW36Ctx_24JbRQag6p9Zy9YqTqwWWeQkyvUPcqu-2t91Y7xeQFrd0kivVhgbHtLxEs8TjvP8bgFL1fgMUU/s1600-h/JohnAbraham.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxYVnQX_NT4W7zkJJJyR7mnzRVl3_Pa69JdcdTx2bfcdFtnAGmLPrbpFrnIgW36Ctx_24JbRQag6p9Zy9YqTqwWWeQkyvUPcqu-2t91Y7xeQFrd0kivVhgbHtLxEs8TjvP8bgFL1fgMUU/s320/JohnAbraham.JPG" border="0" title="Can you see that?" alt="john"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356552893738003746" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mumbai.</span> An online poll conducted by the popular Indian website <a href="http://specials.rediff.com/getahead/2009/jul/09slide1-which-female-celeb-has-the-sexiest-midriff.htm" target="_blank">Rediff.com</a> has chosen John Abraham as the celebrity with The Sexiest Armpit. John emerged on top among ten Indian and international celebrities to win the title. Sanjay Dutt, Salman Khan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Brad Pitt, Roger Federer, Shoaib Akhtar, He-man, Smelly Cat, and Rakhi Sawant were the other contenders for the title. This shortlist was decided by Rediff Comments team.</p><p>“Our research department had come up with a study indicating that Indians had long been interested in celebrity armpits. Being a responsible media organization, we had to offer what people of India demanded and hence we decided to run this poll. I’m happy that the results are out. If people want, we can run this contest at regular intervals to track the popularity of celebrity armpits.” Rediff CEO Ajit Balakrishnan told Faking News.</p><p>Within minutes of the result being declared, Rediff messageboard was abuzz with people discussing the outcome. Around thousand comments were posted, out of which more than 950 were reported for abuse. Rest of the comments either congratulated John or accused Christian missionaries of having funded the poll. Some comments showed broken URLs of website offering free full body massage, while one user wondered why Brad Pitt was not selected even though his name rhymed with armpit.</p><p>But away from the world of comments, John Abraham expressed happiness over the result and thanked fans for selecting his armpits. Media analysts believe that John could now win various advertising contracts for deodorant brands. Some of the experts believe that more such polls could take place in near future as they further the interests of various brands and celebrities.</p><p>“We could soon see a ‘Sexiest Feet’ contest to promote a shoe brand. Maybe a ‘Sexiest Hair’ contest to promote a shampoo or even a comb. Having seen the way market and media manipulates us, I’d not be surprised to see a ‘Sexiest Asshole’ contest to promote a brand of toilet paper.” advertising and media critic Aulad Kakkar expressed his fears.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-58850233828402835272009-07-09T02:38:00.005+05:302009-07-09T03:02:19.456+05:30Manmohan Singh reaches the G-spot<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_Y7YFHJLxCRRvMGOjyAmGA5X2GvK776gBU3EWLbwp2CU5cgl9u4v7I1bzElk6GVkaWZllcDxlLjniFs1T9RCH5qi2Un9NeCnxT1xsNXKm0warkt-_fWcDdUZFTndX1OC7xxbS2lCkWHQ/s1600-h/manmohan.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 219px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_Y7YFHJLxCRRvMGOjyAmGA5X2GvK776gBU3EWLbwp2CU5cgl9u4v7I1bzElk6GVkaWZllcDxlLjniFs1T9RCH5qi2Un9NeCnxT1xsNXKm0warkt-_fWcDdUZFTndX1OC7xxbS2lCkWHQ/s320/manmohan.jpg" border="0" title="Our problems are not just this much" alt="manmohan singh"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356201235490630258" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">L'Aquila, Italy</span>. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh is all set to address world leaders in the G8+G5 summit hosting city, which we are calling G-spot to be equally fair to 8 and 5. But the Indian Prime Minister will have to be extra careful during his stay thanks to the nature of the hosting city and the hosting Prime Minister. The L'Aquila city welcomed its guests by jolting them with minor earthquakes, while the Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has already <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/g8/5735189/G8-Silvio-Berlusconi-has-offended-nearly-every-G8-leader.html" target="_blank">jolted</a> almost all his guests.</p><p>Our junior Italian reporter Quattrobacha reports that the world leaders were quite concerned and opted out of the proposed evening party thrown by the Italian Prime Minister. It’s not clear if the world leaders were afraid of earthquakes or the nature of Berlusconi’s <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/5675478/Silvio-Berlusconi-may-be-questioned-in-sex-scandal.html" target="_blank">parties</a>. While our Italian reporter didn’t have any hidden camera to expose Berlusconi’s party plans, he did inform us that there seemed to be a certain confusion among authorities on how to deal with the world leaders when the ground below them was shaking.</p><p>Meanwhile away from these speculations, Indian Prime Minister addressed mediapersons informing that India's agenda on the list was to remind the G8 (as well as G5) nations that India and China were the emerging economies and they should be treated at par with the developed western economy. Prime Minister was hoping that China will support his stand but the Chinese premier quit the city and the summit to go back to his country. Perhaps he thought that riots in Xinxiang were safer than tremors in L’Aquila.</p><p>But the news was sufficient enough a boost for Sensex that touched 14,000 following the statement by the Prime Minister. Speculators at Dalaal Street are now waiting for the full speech of the Prime Minister of India at the summit.</p><p>Tech Italia, the technology news partner of Faking News, has confirmed that Dr. Manmohan Singh will be delivering the speech in English, Hindi or Punjabi (or maybe even Tamil or Bengali) but other delegates will be listening directly to Sonia Gandhi's speech in fluent Italian. This operational decision was ostensibly made to avoid any cost incurred in translation.</p><p>But this decision has started a political controversy in India. BJP has claimed that this again proved hat the Prime Minister was <a href="http://www.fakingnews.com/2008/12/manmohan-gets-six-pack-abs-pakistan.html">weak</a> and Sonia Gandhi was the real center of power. But a Faking News investigation has exposed that the decision was taken after a bureaucratic goof up. Indian officials had sent the translator to Lal Quila in Delhi instead of L’Aquila in Italy. Government has denied this and stuck to the explanation that the decision was made to cut costs due to the global economic slowdown.</p><p>Apart from the economic slowdown, climate change is also expected to be on the agenda of the summit. India doesn’t have to worry too much over this aspect as Indians don’t use enough electricity due to power crisis, and hence not contributing to global warming. The summit could also see protests by communists, anarchists, human rights groups, pacifists, homosexuals, unemployeds, European extreme-right wing activists and animal rights groups.</p><p>According to our sources, members of PETA (Plea for Equal Treatment of Asians) are planning to come out in large numbers tomorrow to protest against <a href="http://www.fakingnews.com/2009/06/kangaroo-accused-of-attacking-indians.html">Australia</a>. Australia is neither the part of G8 nor G5.</p><p><em>(The report is based on exclusive and latest reports from our correspondent Idiot Box)</em></p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-82605404231867744942009-07-08T16:35:00.006+05:302009-07-08T16:55:38.546+05:30Research proves Yeti was a bureaucrat<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgegfT-fJKLUBVzIEoIricucp-a4hv5gChXLoNskS94a2w1gHsEpIV4jl4e6TSXSSGpnmJJ28u3o5A5aG4RgaM8jx7SEToIo26TipOyqrUjdlzWFotyWvJvgwfbGOtb0_mq35l8PR8eO24/s1600-h/yeti.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgegfT-fJKLUBVzIEoIricucp-a4hv5gChXLoNskS94a2w1gHsEpIV4jl4e6TSXSSGpnmJJ28u3o5A5aG4RgaM8jx7SEToIo26TipOyqrUjdlzWFotyWvJvgwfbGOtb0_mq35l8PR8eO24/s320/yeti.jpg" border="0" title="Arey Diwano, Mujhe Pehchano!" alt="yeti"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356046204591233154" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">Garo Hills, Meghalaya.</span> Local scientists have confirmed that the legendary stories about spotting of Yeti (also known as the Bigfoot or the Snowman) were not completely mythical in nature. A five-year long research by the scientists has concluded that Yeti actually existed and continues to exist. The most striking part of the research is that it rejects the notion that Yeti was some beast, arguing that Yeti was actually a human being – a modern day bureaucrat.</p><p>“Unlike other folklores that date back to medieval ages or even to prehistoric times, Yeti’s stories were not heard before 19th century. This made us believe that Yeti was a product of modern era when democratic political systems and modern nation-states emerged. This is how we got the hypothesis for our research.” Maanav Himija, one of the scientists told.</p><p>The researchers found many similarities between a modern day bureaucrat and the legendary Yeti. Both of them visited hilly and remote areas populated by underprivileged sections of society, but once in a blue moon. Both were deemed powerful by the locals, who were under awe of their enormous powers. Both earned their livelihood by taking away the resources of the locals.</p><p>“We progressively got convinced that Yeti was the name given to the elusive bureaucrat by locals in these areas. Generations over generation people added some hearsay to the appearance and character of the elusive bureaucrat and he became the legendary Yeti. You can’t really blame the locals for this.” Maanav Himija explained the conclusions of the research.</p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoO-5sjXR8oBN8Ze8T3HwLJJXvz3w2nBe5QBO5ftkDoUEJ8ZWygF6tSjKbmxVkzk2baCkF_OBfqgHrqGKlL5LQ2CfTuUiDLK5LfXW4D5FleBKCjP5WkabET3Oc3c-SyQjKL-gazlgS7r0/s1600-h/sabu.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 205px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoO-5sjXR8oBN8Ze8T3HwLJJXvz3w2nBe5QBO5ftkDoUEJ8ZWygF6tSjKbmxVkzk2baCkF_OBfqgHrqGKlL5LQ2CfTuUiDLK5LfXW4D5FleBKCjP5WkabET3Oc3c-SyQjKL-gazlgS7r0/s320/sabu.jpg" border="0" title="The Public Servant" alt="Sabu"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356044692603514818" /></a>Although the bureaucracy and the government dismissed the report as being ‘frivolous', the researchers got a shot in their arm when leading cartoonist of India, Pran Kumar Sharma, startlingly disclosed that the name of his famous cartoon character “<em>Sabu</em>” (from the <em>Chacha Chaudhary</em> series) was actually inspired form the word “<em>Babu</em>”, a Hindi slang for a bureaucrat.</p><p>For the uninitiated, <em>Sabu</em> is a twenty feet tall (who increases his <s>flab</s> size whenever he wants) pet giant of <em>Chacha Chaudhary</em>. He originally belongs to Jupiter and eats a lot of food, which often causes <em>Chacha</em>’s domestic budget to go haywire, attracting nagging criticism from <em>Chachi</em>, the wife of <em>Chacha Chaudhary</em>. <em>Sabu</em> acts and does some work only when <em>Chacha Chaudhary</em> is in deep <s>shit</s> trouble, else he sleeps peacefully in normal times.</p><p>“I must admit that I had modeled <em>Sabu</em> on a bureaucrat, a rather friendly and active bureaucrat. You can very easily see that all his characteristics matches so well with those in bureaucracy. And now you are telling me about this research. I’m not at all surprised that Yeti was also a bureaucrat. These scientists have done a good job and must be congratulated.” cartoonist Pran told Faking News.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3780687655161914264.post-21168160314205914152009-07-06T18:00:00.005+05:302009-07-08T17:12:17.608+05:30Highlights of Union Budget 2009-10<div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCV5lG5KRZtJsgC863dul3g2XbQVOJP2UkUQ4ExFrRYIbgY99ROuUdnU1Iy4EQU1IXKCnuZDjtak-5tO2heYhxErmarrqsPd81E5T0EmY4DQm0aeNk_V6IvrzXyS6meQ3T8mNWNXNhTY8/s1600-h/mukherjee.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 225px; height: 250px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCV5lG5KRZtJsgC863dul3g2XbQVOJP2UkUQ4ExFrRYIbgY99ROuUdnU1Iy4EQU1IXKCnuZDjtak-5tO2heYhxErmarrqsPd81E5T0EmY4DQm0aeNk_V6IvrzXyS6meQ3T8mNWNXNhTY8/s320/mukherjee.jpg" border="0" title="It's shining! India Shining!" alt="Budget"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355324661193042818" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">New Delhi.</span> For those of our readers, who missed the budget speech of Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee, Faking News brings the highlights of the Union Budget:</p><p><blockquote><li>Defense budget has been increased by over 34%. The ruling coalition can now defend all its tainted MPs without worrying for legal expenses as Service Tax will be now levied on Law firms. </li><br /><li>Income tax slabs have been raised. Since income hasn’t risen too much in the last year due to recession, government was considerate enough not to raise the slabs too much as well. </li><br /><li>Government will ensue that farming sector grows, but farming land might become lesser as there is a focus on infrastructure development. </li><br /><li>Crop loan to farmers will be given at 6%. The farmers need to furnish a few documents – a driving license, a passport with visa to USA, last three years audited IT returns certificate and an affidavit that government won’t be responsible if he commits suicide. </li><br /><li>Fringe Benefit Tax has been abolished. Companies are free to abolish the benefits too. </li><br /><li>Contrary to popular expectations, no special schemes were announced for gays. e.g. Lesbians were not picked up for mention even as mission for female literacy with focus on minorities, SC/ST was announced. </li><br /><li>No change in corporate tax. Swiss banks too have not changed interest rates. </li><br /><li>Drugs for heart diseases will be made cheaper. Get a stronger heart for next five years. </li><br /><li>Print Media stimulus package extended by six months. Pagal Patrakar wishes Faking News was a print newspaper. </li><br /><li>NREGA allocation up by almost 150%. Jai Ho! To provide a real wage of Rs. 100 per day, this is equal to the monthly revenues of Faking News. </li><br /><li>Government to spend Rs. 12000 crores on rural roads. The decision was taken in wake of the possibility of Tata’s Nano car being owned by each rural household. </li><br /><li>Modernization of National Employment Exchanges. Sleek looking gals will hand out job application forms to the unemployed youth. </li><br /><li>PSUs to remain within public sector! LOL! </li><br /><li>Almost Rs. 1500 crores more allocated for Commonwealth Games. It includes prizes for contractors to finish their work early and in time.</li></blockquote></p><br /><p><em>Our correspondent Idiot Box further reports:</em></p><br /><p><span style="font-weight:bold;">OOPs He did it again</span></p><p>Budget Flu has attacked the Indian subcontinent and everyone is mourning and singing "OOPs he did it again... although after more than 2 decades) When Pranaab Da started his union budget, the entire nation was looking at him as if he is the most qualified person to look for GDP growth of 9%. "Arrey Bhai, what calculation let you to dream of GDP growth of 9%", asked an amused <em>kela aadmi</em> (cousin of <em>aam aadmi</em>). After seeing a negative inflation, even the most gadha (donkey) aadmi would question the credibility of numbers.</p><p>Not only entire nation, the entire world was looking. Even the Wall Street in New York had come to a halt (anyways it was night time in New York, observed Mr.Witty Birbal, a senior analyst from Faking News). All eyes were on the plasma display which was giving minute by minute update on the budget. Even the Wall Street Bull lifted his head to see the budget.</p><p>All <em>desis</em> came out on the street as if it was the night before thanksgiving! They came with their own tap water and home made <em> idli-vada, samosa-pakora</em> for snacks. Some had even put up their sweater and scarf as they feel it is always cold in any foreign country.</p><p>All the websites and television channels were giving live updates. The 6th of July is marked as the 'Serial Killer' day in India as no serials was broadcasted. Today the T.V. was dominated by Pranab and Arnab (Arnab of the Arnab Goswami fame who can talk non-stop without any break).</p><p>Anandi of 'Balika Vadhu' and Akshara of 'Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata hai' were also heard talking about budget. This was a strategic move started by the new government to educate the couch potato housewives of the impact of budget. Housewives can now bug their husband to buy imported LCD T.V. as the tax has been reduced.</p><p>The cyber space was full of tweets. All the birdies were tweeting nano second by second update of the budget. Faking News cyber-crawlers uncovered some exclusive updates which were not commonly seen on the web.</p><p><em>July 6, 2009, 06:00 : </em>Alarm Bell rings and Pranab stops the alarm in his sleep and laziness.</p><p><em>July 6, 2009, 06:45 : </em>Pranab wakes up and rushes to get ready for his special day. His PA submits a report that he is delayed for the budget speech.</p><p><em>July 6, 2009, 07:00 : </em>Sensex down by 420.99 points on negative sentiments from budget as people read the news paper in the morning (This is the first time in history that market has fallen even before the opening bell).</p><p><em>July 6, 2009, 10:12 : </em>Tax limit changed for Gay too.The first slab of income of Rs. 377,000 will be tax free for Gay and Rs. 4,20,000 will be exempted for the lesbians.</p><p><em>July 6, 2009, 11:57 : </em>Agricultural growth to increase by 4%. This can be achieved by growing potatoes over the roof top of IT companies and installing flower pots in the place of desktops of laid off employees. Following Green revolution, this will be coined as Pink revolution taking cue from the pink slips.</p><p><em>July 6, 2009 12:00 : </em>Citizens are encouraged to buy imported gold jewellery although the basic food price keep shooting through the roof. Wife of Manmohan Singh has already requested for gold bars as soon as the clock struck 12.</p></div>Pagal Patrakarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187675586750138183noreply@blogger.com0