Chini lolipop, China. Our BP correspondent from Yili is reporting that false rumors about milk powder scam are doing the rounds of our globe twice a day. All China hating, profit mongering, capitalist media outlets are reporting that fake milk powder is responsible for many child deaths in China.
Nothing could be closer to lies. The genuine story begins in year of the red mouse (last month for the china haters of the world). Communist Party decided to import genuine milk powder, for the Beijing Olympics, from Switzerland. ISI got hold of this information and sold it to North Korea for truck full of Rakhi Sawant’s pirated Videos. Kim Jung ILL passed on this information to George Bush in lieu of a commitment to ignore all CIA reports of Kim Jung’s death in the year of the blue lizard. Then, Georgie Boy threatened to make this human right abuse public if China did not keep their mouth shut during the NSG meeting in Vienna.
By now, the Chinese were very angry as they had realized that Chinese athletes could not digest genuine milk anyway. So, they decided to scrap the milk import from Switzerland. Swiss government had already acquired 10 truckloads of Oxytocin injection from New Zealand in return for their opposition to India’s 123 at Vienna. The Swiss cows were injected and refused to cancel the order. So the Swiss threatened to make the details of all Communist party accounts public. Finally, after 60 long years, genuine milk powder landed in China.
Red Army was called in to safely store this powder in a safe house in Mongolia till the Olympics were successfully terminated. And we all know what an Olympics it was. Unfortunately, the guards had one drink too many during the post Olympic celebrations and the CIA operatives on prowl quickly took over the cargo. After driving the cargo to a rural area on super highway 4404509 they realized what it was. So they gave it for free to the proud rural folks who had never seen milk powder before and thought it was Heroine.
The simpletons gave this “Afeem” to their children thinking that it would calm them down for a few hours but alas God had something else in mind. Communist party has strongly condemned God for this disaster and banned him again from entering China.
We want to thank Chi-Chi, Mo-chi and Kalu-ji for their support in completing this report. Names have been changed to protect identities.
Faking News thanks our reader Gabbar (not his real name) from Indore for contributing this article
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