Cure suggested for extremist Hindus

Mumbai. A doctor belonging to HAHA (Helpless and Assertive Hindus’ Association) has suggested that extremist Hindus indulged in criminal and terrorist activities are actually suffering from OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), where they must hate, harass and attack people belonging to other faiths. The doctor, whose identity is being protected by Faking News, recommended compulsory medical treatment of such Hindus, who are largely understood to be members of VHP or Bajrang Dal.

HAHA is an organization of those Hindus who are assertive and proud of their faith and culture, but feel anguished and helpless in middle of scandalous activities being carried out in the name of Hinduism. The organization has been researching to find ways to put an end to such activities. HAHA claims to have performed DNA analysis of some of the Hindu extremists and have found proof of OCD in them.

“I don’t blame them, it’s the way they have grown up, they need treatment and they would become alright. There are just 2% extremist Hindus with such OCD, consistent with overall trend among human beings.” The doctor belonging to HAHA explained.

The doctor had suggested injection of SAPAP3 genes in such Hindus. Such genes are found in rats or mice and have been found effective in controlling OCD in them. The doctor believes that direct injections of rat’s genes won’t harm such Hindus. He refused to elaborate why he believed so, parrying the question whether he considered such Hindus as being equivalent to rats of Hinduism.

Expectedly, the suggestion by HAHA is creating a controversy. BJP has termed the suggestion as distasteful and has warned HAHA not to hurt Hindu sentiments. Congress has decided to refer the case to a retired judge of Karkardooma court who would submit a report on the whole issue after 6 months. Left parties have demanded that various state governments should start catching mice and rats and make a bank of such genes, because they suspect that most of the Hindus needed such injection.

Shahi Imam of Jama Masjid Syed Ahmed Bukhari has termed the whole development as a part of larger conspiracy against Muslims of India. He claimed that HAHA was just another arm of Sangh Parivar and Muslims must not believe such cheap antics aimed at creating a false sense of security and justice. He averred that this is another attempt to persecute Muslims.

“We all know that rats and mice are one of Satan's soldiers. Injection of rats’ genes is aimed at making these Hindu terrorists a part of Satan’s army, who would attack Muslims with greater power. Muslims of India should see through this evil design and defeat Allah’s enemies.” Syed Bukhari told.

Meanwhile a group of doctors were attacked by VHP activists when they visited VHP’s local office to collect activists’ blood samples to verify the claims of HAHA. VHP has demanded HAHA to be banned across India and is thinking of filing a defamation suit against them.

We want to remind our viewers that Faking News had predicted that this week seemed to be a week of sending legal notices, and it is indeed turning out to be so.