Congress-BJP lock horns for Narco test series

New Delhi. Inspired by the rivalry between India and Australia in the cricket test series that concluded in Nagpur, two main political parties of India, Congress and BJP, have decided to contest in their own test series – The Narco Test Series. The first round of this series will consist of five test matches to be played by the end of this year. In each match, teams will score runs by issuing statements or soundbites. The winner will be decided based on how well those statements pass Narco tests, administered by citizens of India.

While BJP team will be captained by the hard hitting right handed bitesman L K Advani, the captain of Congress team has still not been officially declared. The current captain, deft handed defensive bitesman Manmohan Singh, remains the front runner, but the final decision rests with coach Sonia Gandhi, who will take a final decision after meeting a team of selectors.

The rivalry before the test series has already come to the fore with BJP mocking Congress for being unable to declare their Captain for the series.

“They are a meek good-for-nothing team. They have hired a foreign coach but that won’t change their fortunes. We would win the Narco test series.” BJP coach Atal Bihari Vajpayee told Faking News.

Congress has reacted sharply to the statement and has denounced BJP for calling their coach a foreigner. Party’s media agent Rajiv Shukla told Faking News that BJP coach has got no power within his own party and has been made a coach for ornamental sake only. Mr. Shukla also told that BJP should rather worry about Narco tests as many of their Under-39 team members and associated team members have already been found to be struggling with them.

For BJP, notable team member include vice captain and medium tracer Rajnath Singh, ticket keeper bitesman Venkaiah Naidu, pinch hitter Vinay Katiyar, southpaw Yediyurappa, tear-away fast howler Narendra Modi, and spinners Ravishakar Prasad and Arun Jaitely, who would put spins on the statements and soundbites issued by the party.

For Congress, those who could represent the team include all-rounder Rahul Gandhi, left handed veteran bitesman Pranab Mukherjee, ham handed slow bitesman Shivraj Patil, right handed stock roller P Chidambram, and spinner Digvijay Singh. It is also being rumored that Congress may hire a chinaman trained by retired bitesman Somnath Chatterjee.

The Narco test series will be officiated by the general public, who are supposed to administer the Narco tests on the statements issued by the team members of both the parties and allot runs to them if the statements appear to be true and trustworthy to them. At least that’s what the rulebook says. The scorer of maximum runs will win the Narco Test Series in 2009.