Parliament announces 23% job cuts for its members

New Delhi. Acting on Faking News Intelligence Group (FNIG) report, Parliament of India today announced 23% job cuts in both the houses. The move comes just a day after parliament reacted negatively to the Supreme Court’s suggestion to have referees during parliamentary sessions. But it seems that the parliament has misinterpreted the FNIG report.

FNIG report had observed that in a scenario when most of the companies were either cutting down on number of employees or lowering down the salaries paid to them, parliament should be no exception. Our report had suggested that Indian parliament should show solidarity with the sufferings of common man and announce job cuts and lower salaries for parliamentarians as well.

We had proposed 23% job cuts in both the houses of parliament. Although, in the report, this figure was seemingly arrived after making use of higher econometrics, we would be candid to our readers in admitting that the calculations were made up to back a number we had already decided upon.

Our logic of recommending 23% job cuts was simple – it brings down the number of Lok Sabha MPs from current 545 to 420.

But the parliament has misread, either deliberately or innocently, what was proposed by us. The Parliamentary Committee, which announced the job cuts today, had interpreted ‘job cuts’ as cutting down on jobs an honorable member of parliament performs.

Hence the committee has announced that now the parliamentarians will attend 23% lesser sessions, ask 23% lesser questions, and spend 23% lesser amount on development of their constituency. The committee refused to answer questions of journalists when they asked whether the members would also create 23% lesser noise and disturbance after this announcement.

Faking News takes no responsibility of the outcomes of such a decision as our recommendations have clearly been misunderstood. Our team will soon move to Supreme Court to get a stay order on parliament’s decision and we hope that next time they would abide by the court order.