Government to get tough with actors urinating in public

New Delhi. Concerned by the increasing incidents of celebrities, especially Bollywood actors, urinating in public places, central government has decided to get tough with the offenders. Now these erring actors won’t be able to get away with just a fine of few hundred rupees but instead might end up getting imprisoned in public toilets for weeks.

“We have noticed that some actors, who earn in crores, don’t mind shelling out a few rupees for breaking the law. Such a behavior has potential to turn India into a banana republic where no one has any respect for the law of the land. We want to flush out this problem before it tanks.” Central Health Minister Ramadoss told.

It should be recalled that urinating in public places was banned all across India starting October 2 last year, incidentally the birthday of Father of the Nation Mahatma Gandhi, who had opposed such unhygienic practices among Indians during the freedom struggle. Walls were used to write patriotic slogans in those days and people were discouraged to urinate on them as it amounted to showing disrespect to motherland. Experts believe that absence of such slogans has caused recrudescence of public urinating among Indians post independence.

“You hardly see any patriotic slogans on any wall in the country these days. Either they carry posters of these Bollywood actors or political slogans. People don’t feel the pressure against urinating on them. Walls have lost all importance and government should work in that direction. Punitive actions won’t solve any problem.” Shona Mutra, a social scientist, told Faking News.

But government is not impressed with such arguments and has asked law enforcing agencies to keep a tight vigil on persons, especially Bollywood actors, urinating in public. Now any person urinating in public could face imprisonment in public toilets up to two months in some cases. The news has thrown Bollywood actors in a state of shock.

“What does the government want? We shouldn’t even relieve ourselves of such calls of nature? If I hold it for too long, my facial expressions will suffer and hence my performance. It’s an attempt to curb my freedom of expression and right to livelihood. I think the ban must be revoked.” Bollywood superstar Shahrukh Khan argued.

But it doesn’t seem that Bollywood actors will have it easy. Sources say that government is also planning to strictly impose its guidelines against showing someone urinating in public on television and cinema screens. Censor Board members are meeting this evening to issue the notification.

Meanwhile some habitual pubic urinaters are reported to be grouping up to form a new religion where the mode of worship would be urinating on walls and other public places. These people are banking on the fact that India, being a secular country, would allow them to urinate anywhere and everywhere in deference to their religious beliefs.