“I’ll forever be obliged to Sanju Baba”: Roncon

Mumbai. Thousands of netizens have developed sudden interest in Owen Roncon and are giving searches in google, Yahoo!, MS Live, AltaVista or whatever search engine is accessible during office hours. Till the other day, he was sought after only by a few customers of the music production media distribution firm of which he is partner.

Roncon has his brother-in-law Sanjay Dutt to thank for the sudden fame. In an exclusive interview, he told Faking News: “Yes, I’ll forever be obliged to Sanju Baba. In this country of rank hypocrites, he was the first one tell Priya that it was not right to persist with the Dutt tag for the third time.” Confident that there would be a Roncon in the Parliament, even if only for a few months, he added, “Their mom Nargis did not persist with her Rashid tag and became the second Dutt to be MP, even though Sunil Dutt had been there already.”

Sanjay Dutt, who has started off his Gandhigiri in Lucknow by asserting, “I respect Atalji a lot. He is like my father. If he seeks reelection, I won’t contest,” forgave his sister for her typical Indian trait of bhabhi-bashing, “being the eldest member of the Dutt family.” He noted that Manyata, who had very indianly ceased to be Dilnasheen Amir Ahmad Sheikh, a no less famous surname, was quick to take the Dutt tag even before the wedding.

Munnabhai told media persons: “Of course, Priya’s MP kursi is more of a largesse to Dutt Saheb, who did not need to make much from his ministerial position. But, that doesn’t make her a part of the Dutt family anymore.” Sanjubaba wants Priya Dutt to become Priya Roncon.

Meantime, Amar Singh’s gambit of fielding “Sunil and Nargis Dutt’s daughter-in-law” in case their son is barred from contesting has succeeded in causing cracks in the Congress fortress. Renuka Chaudhary, the minister who is already perceived by the dynasty to be acquiring too big an image, has fallen for the trap.

Renuka’s statement: “Such comments (on a woman retaining her maiden name) are archaic and out of date,” has obviously disturbed the ‘premier family’ which it portrays as archaic and outdated. She was taking exception to Munnabhai’s opinion: “I strongly feel that hanging on to their parents’ surname by girls disrespects the person they’ve married. That’s a message not just to my sisters, but to all girls who find it fashionable.”

The recent defector to the party has been joined by long time loyalist of the dynasty Girija Vyas as well, though she was being cautious while reacting to it: “We have to understand the context in which he (Dutt) has said it. Media should not interfere in their private life.” She went overboard by adding, “But, in modern times as well as ancient times, a woman has a right to take whichever surname she wants.”

Faking News spoke about the controversy to Krishna Hatheesingh, who had dropped the prized Nehru tag after marrying a comparatively non-descript textile tycoon. Though noted for being more liberal than her doting elder brother Jawaharlal Nehru, the scion said: “I can say no member in our family ever wanted to disrespect the person they married, even if it meant ceasing to be a member of the family!”

Krishna explained that her niece Indira too had willingly sacrificed the Nehru tag to take the surname of her Parsi husband Feroze Gandhy. Only for the sake of standardization was it changed to the Gujarati Bania surname of Gandhi; not because the original tag was any less popular, as it is alleged. “Even in the so-called modern times, Sonia promptly replaced her maiden name Maino upon marriage to Rajiv. See, Priyanka doesn’t feel any less important by calling herself as Vadra, though loyal Congressmen want her to shepherd them,” Krishna said.

In contrast to the flak Priya received from loyal Congress circles for her undiplomatic opposition to her brother that has embarrassed the party leadership, the comely MP had the support of a veteran Congress woman. Faking News secured yet another exclusive interview to throw light upon this most important question facing the country with this dignitary, Margaret Alva.

A predecessor to Arjun Singh in the HRD ministry in Rajiv Gandhi’s government and five-term MP on behalf of India’s oldest Indian party, Alva came to tears - unrehearsed - during the interview: “Hats off to Priya. She has become the most powerful woman in her first term. She so confidently said she could have got a Congress ticket if her brother wanted. Look at me. I was a powerless even after being MP for 30 years.”

The former General Secretary of the Congress could not get an election ticket last year in a ‘more lucrative’ constituency outside the six states that had been put in her charge. She complained publicly that Congress tickets were being sold to the highest bidder and was promptly sacked by the chairperson. Faking News learns that she has already sought an appointment with Priya to get a ticket for someone in the family.

(This special report has been brought to you by chhuchhundarbaba)