Satyam Chairman Ramalinga Raju appointed SEBI Director

New Delhi/Mumbai. The finance minster of India, widely believed to be Manmohan Singh, announced appointment of Ramalinga Raju, Chairman, Satyam Computer Services limited, as Director, SEBI. It is understood that Raju has been awarded for the international recognition and reputation he brought to Satyam Computer and Indian IT industry.

“Raju could create wealth where none existed. He could bring cash in access of what could have been counted. He could make Satyam earn interests on NPAs, and he could write off huge liabilities. Such an acumen and ability is not to be found easily in men, and India could benefit from his experiences in these troubled times.” a finance ministry press statement revealed.

Stock Markets reacted positively and BSE jumped over 420 points as soon as the news was broken by Faking News. Satyam’s shares recorded a huge rise of 1000% when circuit breakers were applied.

“Ramalinga can kill the Ravana of recession with his divine prowess. He can bring in the much needed liquidity in market as he could bring in all those cash in the balance sheet of Satyam. I guess the UPA government has taken a very right decision by making him the SEBI director.” stock broker Harshad Maytas told Faking News.

Sources have informed Faking News that Ramalinga Raju could also head the parliamentary committee on corporate governance as a special member. Mr. Raju could also deliver a lecture on ‘how to balance a balance-sheet’ at IIM Ahmedabad where bulk of the students are engineers and regularly face trouble creating a sense-making balance sheet.

“I think it would be good to learn some tips from a great management guru like Mr. Raju, who could make others read his balance sheet the way he wanted them to read. It’s a super achievement.” Siddharth Hillidharan, a second year MBA student at IIM Ahmedabad told.

But there were some disapproving voices too in the corporate world, who somehow thought that Mr. Raju was actually guilty of unfair practices and a symbol of bad corporate governance. But these people were not surprised by the government decision as they believed that Mr. Raju had a cultural fit with the governing and political class.

It is reported that one of the important decisions that Mr. Ramalinga Raju would take as the new SEBI director would be to create a new stock exchange ESB, which will drive the quotes in BSE. Details are awaited.