Government bans arranged marriages

New Delhi. Under pressure from Sri Krishna Sena (SKS) and Communist parties, the UPA government had decided to come up with a law banning the traditional arranged marriages. All marriages would be solemnized and deemed legal only when the bride and groom will sign a bond declaring that the couple had known each other for a ‘considerable time’ before the marriage, and that they were getting into this relationship after proper thinking and analysis.

“It’s a welcome step. We had always maintained that there was no mention of an arranged marriage in Hindu traditions; either there was swayamwar where the girl chose one among various suitors or the couples used to elope to marry as per their wishes. I hope Indians will go back to their roots.” Arjun Singh, spokesperson of SKS told Faking News.

Interestingly, SKS, believed to be a Sangh Parivaar unit, got support from Communist parties on this issue, but there was a twist. Communist parties rubbished the claim of SKS about Hindu traditions, but supported abolition of arranged marriages as they believed that this was a ‘game of chance’.

“The couples get into such an important relationship just hoping that things would turn good. It’s such a risky chance that each Indian is being encouraged to take. Arranged marriages are a game of chance and akin to gambling, with Hindu priests being the casino owners, and that’s why we favored banning them. The state should control all marriages after making the couples sign a bond.” the communist parties jointly declared in a press release.

But UPA has got in trouble with this announcement as some of the UPA constitute parties have expressed dissent over the decision and have decided to oppose the bill when it comes for discussion in the parliament. Lalu Yadav, one of the important leaders of UPA, was most vocal in his protest.

“Yeh paagalpan hai (this is madness), Congress is getting into the trap of communists and fascist forces. I would decide who would become my bahu or daamaad (daughter-in-law or son-in-law). If such a law is passed, it will give rights to Nitish Kumar and Advaniji to marry off my sons and daughters. I’m not going to let it happen.” Lalu Yadav warned congress of any misadventure.

Common men had mixed reactions to the news. Some of them thought it would be just another failure like outlawing the practice of dowry, which could hardly check the dowry system. But others expressed hope that if government started controlling and scheduling marriages, it might at least solve the traffic problems on some auspicious days as government would allocate the marriage dates prudently.