SIMI to take on Sri Ram Sena on V-Day

Bangalore. In a very innovative development, the association of SIngle Males of India (SIMI) has decided to have a unique ‘Find A Valentine 2010’ (FAV2010) show in Bangalore on this Valentine’s day. The participation is open to any male above the age of 18 who does not have a date on this Valentine’s Day.

The show aims to showcase the participants’ bravery to members of the association of SIngle Females of India (SIFI). It is learnt that SIMI has more members than it can handle and hence it wants to get rid of some of them. SIFI, it is reported has agreed to co-operate. Here is what the contest will look like.

The members of SIMI will form themselves into groups of 50 and will position themselves in various parts of the city. As soon as Sri Ram Sena attacks a particular valentine day hangout, the nearest SIMI group will rush to that place and fight these attackers. Their aim will be to take out the shirts and pants of the members of Ram Sena.

Once a particular participant takes out a shirt or a pant (or dhoti/kurta as the case may be), he is supposed to keep it with himself. There will be 1 point for a shirt and 2 points for a dhoti. Participant collecting maximum points will be the winner. In case of a tie, the winner will be adjudged by the number of underwear of Sri Ram Sena activists that have been collected.

On thirteenth February midnight, participants will take a ‘Ravana pledge’ of fairness. It means that they will not show a cloth of their own or of people other than Sri Ram Sena activists to get points. Interestingly, the pledge will be taken not upon Geeta but upon authentic Sri Lankan sand which Indian cricket team captain has kindly agreed to bring over from Sri Lanka.

As for the prize, the winners will win a date with SIFI members of their choice on next Valentine’s Day. All the activities will be relayed live to SIFI auditorium by Times Now so that SIFI members can choose a brave member as their next valentine.

Last heard, SIMI has been criticized for this contest by some top political leaders. Renuka Choudhary was upset that if things start getting sorted out on their own, she will not have any airtime on news channel. It will be a great disregard to all her efforts in the past to get noticed. NCW is worried that government may finally realize that it is a useless body and may make it a soft target for cost cutting.

BJP was worried that many of Sri Ram Sena members may not campaign for it in the next general elections due to paucity of clothes. But Congress is blaming BJP itself for creating groups like SIMI, accusing the saffron party of having armed civilians to take on ultras in the past such as Salva Judum in Chhattisgarh.

Surprisingly, SIMI has found support from Mallika Sherawat who has agreed to cover the contest for Times Now. “What if I can’t cover myself” she was quoted as saying.

(this exclusive news report has been submitted by a reader of Faking News through e-mail)