Frog marriages can push up India’s GDP: Study

New Delhi. A threat of monsoon washout has left the government clueless and the common man at the mercy of God. A lack of rainfall threatens to push the inflation rate up and the growth rate (GDP) down. While the government is still pondering what to do, the common man has started taking steps like havan, puja and arranging marriages of frogs. While the skeptics and the rationalists might scoff at these seemingly senseless attempts by the common man, a Faking News study shows that such attempts can in fact prove helpful in pushing up India’s GDP.

“The common man must not stop at arranging marriages for the frogs. This is well begun but half undone. The need of the hour is to keep the frog couple together and make them consummate the marriage. We need lots and lots of baby frogs. Yes, we need to encourage ‘Frog Farming’. The government should buy these baby frogs from frog farmers and then export them to countries like China and France. This will increase government spending as well as exports, thus pushing the GDP northwards.” the Faking News Intelligence Group (FNIG) report noted.

The report points out the fact that people in countries like China have almost eaten frogs to extinction, which has opened up a global market for frogs. Frog legs are a delicacy in France while Chinese eat the whole frog. Some Chinese companies also make aphrodisiac or sex-drive improving medicines out of frog’s sexual organs. Such needs and usages drive the demand for frogs in these countries. Currently, Indonesia is the largest exporter of frogs, but there is an opportunity for India to enter this global frog market and replace the South East Asian country from its market leader position.

“Government invariably has to encourage Frog Farming. The good work started by aam aadmi (common Indians) by marrying off frogs must be concluded with government facilitating mating of frogs. During mating, the male frog climbs over and clasps the female around her waist tightly, and tends to be in that position lasting sometimes for several days! The common man must be educated about this fact so that he lets the frogs make love and not try to disjoin them out of fear or curiosity. During the mating period, the female can lay several hundreds eggs. One can simply imagine the kind of growth we are looking at.” FNIG report elaborated.

Faking News hopes that the government will take the required steps and chalk out a strategy for a National Frog Farming Programme. This could be the second “Green Revolution” our country could witness, pulling us out of recession and monsoon washout.