Kangaroo accused of attacking Indians down under

Melbourne, Australia. Amid growing attacks on Indians down under and presumed pressure on the authorities to act tough against the victims culprits, the local police here claimed to have solved the mystery behind the alleged racist attacks. Police and the local authorities think that either one big burly Kangaroo or a group of rowdy Kangaroos were behind the attacks on Indians in recent weeks. Authorities also released a picture of a suspect Kangaroo.

“Our stand has been vindicated. These attacks were not at all racial in nature as paranoid Indian media have been suggesting. The culprits belong to a different species altogether. We will thoroughly investigate the issue and try to arrest these Kangaroos soon.” Melbourne Police Chief Mr. Down Right Rood informed in a packed press conference.

The police and authorities had tough time explaining this rowdy-Kangaroo-theory as none of the victims had claimed that the attackers were of bestial appearance. Even one of the videos showed a group of human looking Australians attacking an Indian in a train. The only thing authorities could say was that they were investigating the whole case and details would be available only after the investigations were over, but they had a ready explanation on why Kangaroos were attacking Indians only.

“Indians are not new to being attacked by animals. Some years back a monkey had attacked many Indians in their own capital city. My research department informs me that Indians worship cows so that they don’t attack them at will. So it was but obvious that Kangaroos chose Indians to attack. Indians must introspect why they are always at the receiving end.” Mr. Rood explained.

Our sources inform that a few researchers have also suggested that this big burly Kangaroo and the Monkey that attacked Indians in Delhi might be blood related. The Kangaroo might have been dumped into Australia for being too violent and criminal by the British government, which ruled over both India and Australia.

While the claims of Melbourne police and authorities were dismissed by many Indians outrightly, some groups suggested that they should wait till the investigations were over before concluding anything. But conclusions have already begun to come out. A few Indians have been petrified over the possibility of existence of self-transforming Kangaroos that transforms into human beings before attacking Indians.

“This is crazy! The government must tell us how to differentiate between those who appear as human beings and those who are actually human beings. My guess is that the transformed Kangaroos must be having proportionally big ears, and that’s why most of the culprits were covering their faces, especially ears, when they attacked Indians. Man, now I have to check everyone’s ears before going near them! This life sucks!” Rahul Sheth, an Indian living in Australia expressed concern.

Meanwhile a massive Kangaroo hunt has been started by the police to nab the jumping culprits. But the search operation by the police might run into rough weather as some Animal Rights activists have denounced the authorities for blaming Kangaroos without having enough proof against them. These activists also suspect a racial bias within the police to have picked an aboriginal animal over other animals as the prime suspect in the case.