Report on Maoist violence in Bengal submitted in lorem ipsum text

Kolkata. In an important development that could give rise to a major political and lingual controversy, the West Bengal government today submitted a report written in lorem ipsum text to the central Home Ministry. The report was supposed to contain a detailed account and update on the law and order situation in the state after reports of bloody confrontations between Maoists and local villagers came out in the public. Officials in the central home ministry are surprised and shocked to get the report.

“How are we supposed to make sense out of it and take the required action to control the violence? There can be only two interpretations of this act – either the state government didn’t bother to write the report at all and has just sent us a document template with the dummy words written on it, or the local government is not interested in having a meaningful dialogue with the center on such a serious issue – both of these possibilities are dangerous for the unity of the country.” Union Home Minister P Chidambaram fumed.

But the West Bengal government officials have denied these charges. The state government in fact has blamed the center of behaving in a narrow-minded way and not cooperating to control the violence.

“Congress has lost all courtesies and willingness to work in a diverse environment after having won so many seats in the general elections. The victory has gone into their head and now they want everyone to speak their language only. Lorem ipsum has a meaning and one needs to apply some brains to understand it. These great words symbolize power to the people and Congress must learn to accept and respect people’s movements.” West Bengal Chief Minister Buddhadeb Bhattacharya defended the report and accused the center of not doing enough.

Explaining his stance, Mr. Bhattacharya argued that the lorem ipsum text enables the proletariat, which is normally not very fluent in linguistic skills due to lack of education, to create impressive documents and presentations without having to fill it with floral or scholarly language. Therefore the text works as a great leveller disallowing the unfair advantage available to the bourgeois due to private education.

The Chief Minister further informed that henceforth every government official in the state would use the lorem ipsum text to communicate. Meanwhile latest reports coming from Lalgarh region of West Bengal suggested that fresh violence had erupted there between Maoists and villagers. The state government is soon expected to issue a statement, most probably in the lorem ipsum text, on the law and order situation, asking the central government to take the necessary steps.