Government launches mid-day snooze scheme for public offices

New Delhi. Encouraged by the reported success of mid-day meal scheme in schools towards improving education among underprivileged students, government has decided to implement mid-day snooze scheme in public offices that is aimed at improving productivity among underperforming public servants. The scheme will officially empower public servants with a right to sleep in their offices for at least one hour each day.

Although the practice of taking a mid-day snooze in offices has been rampant for various years now, the government believes that legalizing the slumber in offices will improve the morale and dignity of its employees, apart from productivity. If the results of the scheme are found favorable, the scheme would be turned into a law enabling every employee, either in public or private sector, to rightfully sleep during office hours.

“We had been facing a lot of complaints about public servants sleeping in offices. Our officials confessed that work made them comatose, which left us only with two options – either to let them not work or to let them sleep. We chose the first solution and instructed our officials to ignore work, but there was huge public hue and cry over it, so now we are left with no other option.” a labor ministry communiqué said.

The ministry also believes that the hitherto sleeping in the public offices filled the government employees with a sense of guilt, for sleeping was not officially sanctioned, but with the mid-day snooze scheme coming into effect, the officials will no longer feel guilty and thus it would do wonders to their morale and self-respect. But not many agree with this logic.

“This is bullshit! These guys have always slept as if it was their birthright to do so. Where was the guilt? I surely couldn’t sense any. In fact we were made to feel guilty because we disturbed their sleep! I don’t think this scheme makes any sense, but yeah, maybe they should enforce this in the private sector as employers there don’t allow us poor employees to sleep even during the night.” Vijay Faryal, a sales executive working with a shampoo company opined.

Faryal was joined by many other citizens who also thought that government decision was ‘misplaced’. Some sociologists too criticized the government for entertaining and yielding to basic instincts of common citizens for encouraging activities like professional work and education.

“Mid-day meal scheme itself was flawed. Schools became appealing to the stomach instead of one’s brains. Now we have mid-day snooze scheme for employees. What next? Mid-night sex scheme to improve adult education?” British Kandy, a popular sociologist wondered.