Manmohan Singh reaches the G-spot

L'Aquila, Italy. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh is all set to address world leaders in the G8+G5 summit hosting city, which we are calling G-spot to be equally fair to 8 and 5. But the Indian Prime Minister will have to be extra careful during his stay thanks to the nature of the hosting city and the hosting Prime Minister. The L'Aquila city welcomed its guests by jolting them with minor earthquakes, while the Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has already jolted almost all his guests.

Our junior Italian reporter Quattrobacha reports that the world leaders were quite concerned and opted out of the proposed evening party thrown by the Italian Prime Minister. It’s not clear if the world leaders were afraid of earthquakes or the nature of Berlusconi’s parties. While our Italian reporter didn’t have any hidden camera to expose Berlusconi’s party plans, he did inform us that there seemed to be a certain confusion among authorities on how to deal with the world leaders when the ground below them was shaking.

Meanwhile away from these speculations, Indian Prime Minister addressed mediapersons informing that India's agenda on the list was to remind the G8 (as well as G5) nations that India and China were the emerging economies and they should be treated at par with the developed western economy. Prime Minister was hoping that China will support his stand but the Chinese premier quit the city and the summit to go back to his country. Perhaps he thought that riots in Xinxiang were safer than tremors in L’Aquila.

But the news was sufficient enough a boost for Sensex that touched 14,000 following the statement by the Prime Minister. Speculators at Dalaal Street are now waiting for the full speech of the Prime Minister of India at the summit.

Tech Italia, the technology news partner of Faking News, has confirmed that Dr. Manmohan Singh will be delivering the speech in English, Hindi or Punjabi (or maybe even Tamil or Bengali) but other delegates will be listening directly to Sonia Gandhi's speech in fluent Italian. This operational decision was ostensibly made to avoid any cost incurred in translation.

But this decision has started a political controversy in India. BJP has claimed that this again proved hat the Prime Minister was weak and Sonia Gandhi was the real center of power. But a Faking News investigation has exposed that the decision was taken after a bureaucratic goof up. Indian officials had sent the translator to Lal Quila in Delhi instead of L’Aquila in Italy. Government has denied this and stuck to the explanation that the decision was made to cut costs due to the global economic slowdown.

Apart from the economic slowdown, climate change is also expected to be on the agenda of the summit. India doesn’t have to worry too much over this aspect as Indians don’t use enough electricity due to power crisis, and hence not contributing to global warming. The summit could also see protests by communists, anarchists, human rights groups, pacifists, homosexuals, unemployeds, European extreme-right wing activists and animal rights groups.

According to our sources, members of PETA (Plea for Equal Treatment of Asians) are planning to come out in large numbers tomorrow to protest against Australia. Australia is neither the part of G8 nor G5.

(The report is based on exclusive and latest reports from our correspondent Idiot Box)