Lalu breaks Lara’s record

Patna. While whole of India was rejoicing upon Sachin Tendulkar becoming the highest test runs scorer on Friday, the celebrations were cut short late in the night when a press release issued by RJD (Rashtriya Janta Dal) claimed that their chief Lalu Yadav had broken Lara’s record a few minutes before Tendulkar did so. The release claimed that Tendulkar will have to score another 1000 odd runs to beat Lalu Yadav to become the leading test runs scorer.

According to the press release, Lalu Yadav has documents to prove that he has a little over 13000 test runs to his name. Apparently these test runs have been transferred to him by former Indian captains Mohammad Azharuddin and Sourav Ganguly. Ganguly signed the documents of transfer of runs during the tea break of first day of Mohali test match between India and Australia, after which Tendulkar went past 15 runs thinking he had broken Lara’s record.

“Technically Sri Lalu Prasad Yadav ji had completed over 13000 test runs just as Sri Sourav Ganguly ji signed on the documents transferring his test runs to Sri Lalu Prasad Yadav ji, which means Sri Lalu Prasad Yadav ji had become the highest test run scorer before Sachin Tendulkar crossed Brian Lara’s record. Tendulkar will need to go past Sri Lalu Prasad yadav ji’s tally of test runs to become the highest test run scorer.” press release said.

This statement and claim has created a storm in sporting and political circles of India. Former cricketers like Sunil Gavaskar and Nawab Pataudi have expressed shock over the development and have urged BCCI to look into the matter urgently. But BCCI officials are tight lipped over the whole issue as Lalu Yadav is also the chief of Bihar Cricket Association (BCA), an affiliate of BCCI. Most of the current cricketers, including Tendulkar himself, declined to comment on the development.

However political circles generated much more heat and debate. BJP MP and former cricketer Navjot Singh Siddhu castigated Azharuddin and Gaguly to have stooped to such low levels just to harass Tendulkar. He said that deals between these two and Lalu must be disallowed by ICC and Lalu Yadav’s test runs should be wiped off the records for good.

“A chilli and an apple can’t be mixed to create a banana. Cricketing standards are falling like Niagara Falls over Charminar in the Bay of Bengal. There is something fishy, and I’d rather be a fishing rod than a merchant ship. Let’s not be a mute spectator and a deaf audience. A high level enquiry should trap the erring parties.” Siddhu explained.

BJP, while agreeing with Siddhu, further suspects that this deal with formers cricketers has been done in lieu of jobs with railways. BJP claims that post retirement Ganguly would be made the general manager of Eastern Railway and Azharuddin would soon become the general manager of Southern Railway. BJP is calling it ‘jobs for runs’ scam.

MNS chief Raj Thackeray called it an attempt to hurt Marathi pride by denying Sachin Tendulkar, a Marathi cricketer, a place in record books. Raj told Faking News that Bhaiyyas are jealous of a Marathi progressing to be on the top of the world and hence they are adopting corrupt practices to belittle a Marathi feat. He also challenged Lalu Yadav to score more than a duck in Wankhede Stadium.

When Faking News contacted Lalu Yadav, he vehemently denied the charges of ‘jobs for runs’ and accused BJP of being a communal party on a mission to defame a Muslim cricketer i.e. Azharuddin. Commenting on the views expressed by former cricketers, Lalu told that these players needed more maturity to understand higher issues and would rather not comment on their views. Lastly, he claimed that he will hit a century in Wankhede Stadium next year if Bal Thackeray was to bowl.

“Raj is a bachcha (kid). I don’t care what he says. He was running between toilets for nappies when I was running between wickets for runs. I don’t compete with such small people. Let Bal Thackeray challenge me on the ground and I’ll hit a century.” Lalu Yadav, the highest test cricket runs scorer(?), expressed confidence of his abilities.

Well, it seems that before ICC clears the confusion and comes out with the fact of the matter, for the time being we will have to consider Lalu Yadav as the leading test runs scorer. Well played Laluji!