Record sales of sleeping pills registered

Mumbai. While the markets world over battled the threat of a global recession, some industry quarters continued to spring surprises, mostly in India. Although Indian stock exchanges fell flat on their face this week, the pharmaceutical industry performed excellently well, booking profits over 200%. Interestingly, the driving force behind this spectacular performance of the pharmaceutical industry has been phenomenal rise in sales of sleeping pills in the last week.

A further analysis of this trend reveals that demand for sleeping pills have come from various parts of the country and from special sections of the society. Reliable sources confirm to Faking News that major consumers of sleeping pills this week have been Indian politicians, businessmen, sportspersons, and entertainment professionals.

Indian politicians and businessmen especially demanded a sleeping pill called Unisom (inset picture). The demand came mainly from Tamilnadu Chief Minister Mr. M Karunanidhi who had tough times sleeping as he kept on thinking about Lankan Tamils. Unisom manufacturers were surprised as the Chief Minister had never ordered the pills before even when he was thinking about Indian Tamils on Ram Sethu issue. Mr. Karunanidhi had ordered pills for his whole party including Members of Parliament.

Apart from Karunanidhi, the Chief Ministers of states going to polls in coming month have also ordered sleeping pills for themselves and their party members. All these pills belong to the same brand – Unisom. Opposition leader and BJP prime ministerial candidate L K Advani is also understood to have asked for these sleeping pills as he had tough time imagining Hindus being killed in Assam and Orissa.

Among other politicians who ordered Unisom pills were Mr. Amar Singh and Ms. Mamta Banerjee, who couldn’t sleep together due to deepening and genuine worries on genuineness of Jamia Nagar Encounter. Faking News has learnt that these leaders have asked every resident of Jamia Nagar to take these pills to feel safe and secure till general elections.

Demand for Unisom also came from Jet Airways Chairman Naresh Goyal who could not sleep for two days after more than a thousand employees of Jet Airways were thrown out of job without informing him. Mr. Goyal also gifted some of these pills to Mr. Vijay Mallya, Chiarman of Kingfisher Airlines, but apparently Mr. Mallya has not consumed them yet.

Sleeping pills of brands other than Unisom were bought by the employees who were laid-off by Jet Airways. These employees had lost their sleep as various politicians had promised them to help them out of the ordeal. Many employees currently employed with other airlines or with investment banks also ordered sleeping pills according to sources.

Other brands of sleeping pills were probably ordered by Indian batsman Sachin Tendulkar as he candidly admitted that it was a little difficult to sleep as he was constantly being reminded of Lara’s record by people. Apparently, Lara and his family too had ordered some sleeping pills but the news is not confirmed. Faking News doesn’t believe in giving you unconfirmed news reports.

Harbhajan Singh too had ordered some sleeping pills after he received a court notice for his Raavan-dance act. The producers, directors and other entertainment professionals attached with the television show in which Bhajji danced had also taken sleeping pills and caused the pharmaceutical industry to book profits.

Pharmaceutical industry analysts and managers are upbeat about the whole situation and they believe that with proper branding and marketing, they can achieve even higher sales and profits as almost everyone in this country needs sleeping pills in present socio-politico-economic scenario.

It seems we will soon see stylishly branded and flavoured sleeping pills in the market. One for each one of us.