Mumbai terror attacks case solved

New Delhi. The Government of India and State Government of Maharashtra have solved the Mumbai terror attacks case. The speed at which this case has been solved is unprecedented for any government in the world. All the terrorists that had set Mumbai bleeding are either dead or will die in due course of time. There is no problem on that front. The real challenge was in indentifying who was behind the attacks. This is what congress spokesperson Abhishek Manu Singhvi told the reporters:

“Prime Minister Singh, who is known for his intelligence and intellect, took no time in understanding the Pakistani hand in the blasts. He even identified the group associated with the blast (LeT). India is proud to have a PM like him who does not bother himself with evidences. After all, isn’t it the system of producing evidences that has made our judiciary so inefficient? Even his best friend Bush did not need any evidence against Iraq. We are privileged to have a PM like him.

We are also privileged to have an intelligence agency so intelligent that just by hearing the dialect that they could trace the origin of terrorists to a particular city in Pakistan (Faridkot). It’s a big slap on those who say intelligence agencies in India are incapable.

As for terrorists, we need not worry about them. They are foolish enough to try taking the mothership back to Pakistan instead of just abandoning it (that also via Gujarat). They did not realize that it takes time to reach Karachi by sea and Indian Navy could catch it. They were right in Hindi Movies, “hatyara kitna bhi shaatir kyon na ho, suraag peeche chhod deta hai”, these idiots left an entire ship.”

The opposition party which alleges local involvement in every blast was so mesmerized by the intelligence of the PM that their leader agreed to jointly visit Mumbai with PM. Hope he got his hands on some wisdom.

One FM channel which was facing a lot of competition from a rival channel’s program called ‘traffic beat’ has started a new program called ‘terror beat’. The program will air the areas in which terror attacks are taking place and will suggest the commuters to take alternative routes. They are banking on the current Home Minister to continue after the Lok Sabha elections.

(The news-report has been submitted by a reader of Faking News through email)