Mumbai. While different television channels chased rescued hostages and guests of different hotels that were targeted by terrorists, Faking News decided to give those harrowed and exhausted people a break. But since we needed an eyewitness account or interview of the terror strikes, we caught hold of someone who saw and experienced the terror at Taj Hotel from a close range.
We managed to interview Guturgu Patil – a pigeon (identified by a red circle in the adjoining picture) who fearlessly countered the terrorism threat. Followings are the highlights of our interview with Guturgu, which was carried out in risky situation when NSG commandos were still fighting out the elusive terrorists. Our Faking News reporters have always risked their lives to bring the latest and exclusive news and views to you. Okay, back to the interview:
Faking News (FN): Thanks Mr. Patil, how are you feeling now?
Guturgu Patil (GP): I feel like a human has put his droppings on me. It stinks.
FN: We are sorry for your condition, what was going through your mind when grenades and gunshots were going off for the last two days?
GP: What kind of question is that? Of course I was worried about my grains being eaten by others as I had to fly off each time those big sounds went off.
FN: But we must congratulate you, as we saw that you, along with other pigeons, used to come back instantly and eat the grains. Those dozens of big sounds didn’t seem to affect and terrorize you.
GP: Yes, thanks. That’s the Indian spirit. We shouldn’t be discouraged by terrorists and lose sight of our grains. We must come back silently each time after a big sound and start eating the grains again as if nothing had happened. After all, how much time and effort does it take to fly off again when the next sound goes off?
FN: But you just told that you were worried that your grains could be eaten by others. How do you harmonize that fear with this spirit of resilience?
GP: See, let me tell you a secret. Some of these pigeons (whispers to our reporter), you see those little brown ones, we suspect them with being wings in glove with those terrorists throwing grenades and firing with AK47s. They share same color with the terrorists and sympathize with them. We, the white and bigger ones, suspect that they would eat our grains when we fly off.
FN: But we couldn’t notice any of those brown little ones staying back after the sounds. They too used to fly off with you white bigger ones. They too seemed scared and worried.
GP: They just act to win sympathy from people like you. Go and search their nests, and you would find the truth. Also, they lay more eggs than us and want to eat all the grains. They should be driven out of India and Mumbai.
FN: hmmm… so you think the real problem are not those human terrorists throwing grenades but those brown little pigeons?
GP: I’m not saying anything. But I’m fed up of these loud sounds. In fact, I think my hearing capacity has gone down, and now I don’t even mind those loud sounds so much, yeah actually, so many sounds now, I guess it’s a part of my life now. But we bigger white ones should go for louder sounds and scare those brown little ones and eat their grains.
FN: Guturgu ji, we can understand your frustration and anger, but believe us, those brown little ones are as scared as you white bigger ones. In fact, you know, two of them actually died as grenades landed on them. They too are suffering. Why not you two join hands and drive out these humans making loud sounds?
GP: hmmm… I wish your information was true. If it was true, we can think over it, but our white privileged pigeons and their brown privileged pigeons never agreed that humans were a common enemy. I’d request you to interview our leaders. And now, please go and let me eat my grains.
Faking News: thanks Guturgu, we hope you get to have a better life.
Guturgu Patil: it’s alright, it’s okay, and it doesn’t hurt us anymore, after all we symbolize world peace.
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