Indian politicians come together to write a book

New Delhi. Following the calls of unity among the political class of India after the recent Mumbai terror attacks, Indian politicians have finally decided to come together.

They have come together to write a self help book targeted at Indian voters, which will help fix their misplaced resolve that they had gathered after the terror attacks. The book, named “You Can’t Win”, will hit the stands in a couple of weeks and is expected to be a runaway success by the next Lok Sabha elections.

The self help book, jointly written by think tanks of various political parties under the pseudonym Willfak Yugain, is divided in various chapters such as ‘Inter Religious Skills’, ‘Power of Language’, ‘Caste your role’, and ‘Class and esteem’. Each chapter urges the reader to know their real self and help themselves out of the delusion they have got themselves into.

Some of the sample sentences from the book, read by the think tanks exclusively for Faking News, are as follows:

“You shouldn’t vote for change, you should just change your vote.” a BJP member of the group that wrote the book, informed about his contribution.

“If you replace a party with another, you replace your miseries with another, so why bother to replace?” the Congress member too cited one of his contributions.

“Winners are not the one with big mass, they are simply pain in the arse.” the authorship of the sentence is disputed as various regional parties started hitting each other with microphones claiming the authorship.

The book is being promoted as ‘a step by step guide for Indian voters’ and various government agencies could distribute this book for free starting next year.

Political parties have also called on news channels to help them promote the book, and have promised to hike their broadcast advertising budgets. Parties are also mulling over the possibility to provide subsidies to the channels for broadcasting news on saas-bahu television serials, Bollywood news, and comedy shows.

Faking News was paid an undisclosed amount to promote the book.