Manmohan gets six-pack abs, Pakistan furious

New Delhi. Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh surprised the whole world today by showing his six-pack abs. He wore a Spartan costume exposing his abs when he came for an emergency cabinet meeting on domestic security. While his new abs drew reactions ranging from admiration to ridicule, it attracted serious objection from Pakistan.

Islamabad termed the ab-exposure by the Indian prime minister as a concrete ‘proof’ that India was preparing for war against Pakistan. It declared that the country was ready to take on any hostility from India.

“This is madness. Manmohan Singh should choose his costumes carefully, as they may be his last as a prime minister. We want peace but India has been inciting us no end. If a war is thrust upon us, we are ready for it.” Pakistani Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani issued a statement in Pakistani parliament, and assured that soon he’ll develop better abs than those of Manmohan Singh.

India has dismissed Pakistan’s reactions as ‘frivolous’. New Delhi has asked Islamabad to work on controlling terrorists operating from Pakistani soil instead of getting worked up upon silly things. Foreign Minister Pranab Mukherjee told that Manmohan Singh’s costume didn’t signify any belligerent approach but was only a reaffirmation of the fact that all options were ‘open’ for India.

But within India itself, Manmohan Singh drew mixed reactions from different quarters. CPM and other left parties have criticized Mr. Singh for being a blind follower of the USA, and has asked Mr. Singh to scrap the nuclear deal with immediate effect.

“It’s all a part of the deal. Manmohan Singh has flashed his abs just one day after Barack Obama did the same. It’s a complete surrender to US policies and we would oppose it tooth and nail. Six-pack abs symbolizes naked capitalism and it must be banned in India.” CPM leader Brinda Karat told.

Opposition BJP too is not impressed with Mr. Singh’s abs and has termed it ‘too little too late’. The party claimed that their leader L K Advani is working out diligently to develop eight-pack abs, which will take India into a new league in the next year.

“Mr. Singh’s abs are phony. You can’t even count how they make up to six. Congress is known to fudge figures and statistics related to development and security, and they have done the same again. It’s a lame and ridiculous attempt to project India as a tough state. Congress has turned us into a soft state and only an eight-pack abs can serve the purpose now.” BJP spokesperson Ravi Shankar Prasad told Faking News.

Unconfirmed reports suggested that many even in Congress were not appreciative of such an act by Manmohan Singh, as they wanted Rahul Gandhi to develop six-pack abs and show it to the world. Veteran vegetating Congress leader and HRD Minister Arjun Singh was most upset with this move and had apparently written a letter to Sonia Gandhi to rein in the Prime Minister.

But allies of UPA have welcomed the move and have hailed the abs of the Prime Minister. Railway Minister Lalu Yadav has declared that he will soon start a special train called six-pack rath that will celebrate the secular and muscular nature of our country.

“Communal forces are jealous of what Manmohanji has done for this country. People were hungry in BJP rule but now they are eating good food and developing good abs. What is wrong in this?” Lalu Yadav wondered.