South Africa fears Australian retort after test victory

Perth, Australia. After scoring a historical victory over Australia in the opening test match of the three match test series against Australia, South Africa fears that Australians could avenge the humiliating defeat in their inimitable style.

Team manager, Coach, and Captain of South African team had an emergency round of meeting today morning to discuss strategies to defend the players against the expected Australian onslaught – a series of books by the Australian cricketers.

“We have reports suggesting that Matthew Hayden and Andrew Symonds are jointly authoring a book where they are expected to make biting remarks against AB de Villiers and me. We must be mentally prepared and be ready for the second test match.” South African captain Graeme Smith told Faking News.

South African cricket board are also reported to be in touch with the Indian counterpart BCCI to put them in touch with Indian cricketers, who could consult them on how to deal with such books. Former Indian captain Sourav Ganguly and spinner Harbhajan Singh have agreed to provide consultation for the time being.

“Books are a top priority for South Africans at the moment, but I also told them to think out of book and make a list of words in Zulu, Xhosa, and Afrikaans that sounds similar to monkey, and avoid using them on-field.” Harbhajan Singh informed about the kind of suggestions he was providing.

The Indian cricketers also advised them to smile on field and not to forget to shake hands after the match was over. Meanwhile Australian captain Ricky Ponting got livid with our reporter in the press conference when he innocently asked if he should resign from captaincy due to the crushing defeat.

“If you are actually questioning my abilities, you should not be standing here.” The Australian captain told our reporter, following which our reporter immediately sat down there.