Who are responsible for terror attacks?

New Delhi. Indians have been mighty confused about who were responsible for Mumbai terror attacks as suddenly a series of claims of responsibilities have come up. So much so, that now Indians are now finding it tough to keep count and have started forgetting some aspects of the attacks.

First it was a linguistically conscious group claiming to be Deccan Mujahideen that took ‘virtual responsibility’ by sending emails in Hindi.

Then the arrested terrorist Qasab took ‘oral responsibility’ of the attacks and claimed groups like LeT and ISI were responsible.

While Indians were still finding the links between the two, they were bombarded with ‘moral responsibility’ claimed by various people – Shivraj Patil, M K Narayanan, R R Patil, Vilasrao Deshmukh, and counting.

“I am totally confused. After all who exactly is responsible for those attacks? There are so many candidates now. Whom should I trust?” asked Ravi, a common Indian.

Faking News has learnt from its sources in government that there could be a commission chaired by a retired Supreme Court judge who would inquire into these claims of responsibilities.

The commission will also give ‘certificate of morality’ and award grades to people claiming moral responsibility, while they will pronounce stringent punishment for people claiming other kind of responsibilities.

The commission will produce its report in 13 years and 1.65 days, out of which 13 years would be devoted to decide punishment and the rest to award certificates and grades. The commission will also submit a report that can be used for similar instances in the future to save time.

The commission will not probe the authenticity or details of any kind of responsibility (oral, moral, virtual or other), as they would be assumed to be true and comprehensive.

BJP has termed these steps as ‘drama’, while Congress has accused BJP of not even carrying out such a drama when terror attacks took place in their term. Both parties are feeling good now.

But many Indians were not feeling so good as some of them complained of amnesia as well as déjà vu.