Friday, October 31, 2008

SC advises Parliament to appoint session referees

New Delhi. Responding to a PIL filed by a Faking News reader, the Supreme Court today recommended the central government to appoint session referees during various sessions of the parliament. These session referees would have similar powers and responsibilities as those of match referees in cricket matches. The recommendation has taken the political circles by surprise.

The recommendation was pronounced by an eleven member jury headed by Justice Malcom Gavaskar. The jury unanimously concluded that Indian parliament lacked discipline and orderliness in proceedings as there was a deep sense of impunity among the honorable members of the parliament. Things could drastically improve if the honorable members were to know that someone could fine them or ban them from contesting elections if they showed unruly behavior or indulged in dishonorable acts during parliamentary sessions, the jury opined.

“Speakers of both the houses of the parliament were supposed to bring order and discipline, but they have mostly failed. We think that this was not due to incompetence of the Speakers but due to wrongly placed expectations from them. We believe that Speakers are like on-field umpires in a cricket match. They have to just make sure that some basic rules are being followed in the game. For bringing discipline and orderliness, a concept of match referee was introduced in cricket matches, which has been proving very effective. Hence we recommend Indian parliament to have session referees like these match referees with similar powers and responsibilities.” the jury concluded.

The jury made this recommendation while debating a PIL filed by Faking News reader Naseeruddin Pathak. Mr. Pathak had claimed that since Indian politics resembled much like a professional sport than social service, rules of professional sports should apply to the same.

“A seemingly innocuous person like Harbhajan Singh was almost banned for making alleged racial remarks and then finally banned for slapping Sreesanth, whereas our politicians get away with more serious hate speeches and physical violence. I was deeply disturbed with these double standards in Indian life and decided to approach Supreme Court.” Mr. Pathak told Faking News.

But political leaders are least amused by the development. They are seeing the recommendation by Supreme Court as an attempt to breach the privilege that the parliament and the parliamentarians currently enjoy and make merry with.

“We know how to run the house and the country. We don’t need to learn from cricketers or anyone else. Supreme Court should exercise restraint in such manners and avoid collision of judiciary and legislative. This is not good for democracy.” Parliamentary Affairs minister Mr. Vayalar Ravi (this is not a fake name) told Faking News.

While reactions of political leaders were on expected lines, a common man on the street felt strongly that recommendation of Supreme Court should be implemented. An SMS poll run by Faking News showed that most people favored former Chief Election Commissioner Mr. T N Sheshan to be the first session referee.


raj said...

great! even Gautam Gambhir has been banned for one test match, Lalu and Mulayam should also be banned soon.

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