Saturday, December 20, 2008

Baby Marx born in West Bengal

Baby MarxNandigram, WB. A seven and half month’s old baby boy is attracting large crowds of devotees here due to his striking resemblance with communist philosopher Karl Marx. Many people in West Bengal, ruled by communists over three decades now, believe the baby to be a reincarnation of Marx, thus proving communism to be the truest religion of the world.

“The baby looks so much like Marx Dada. His mother says that red is his favorite color and he doesn’t drink milk till his cat is given one bowl full. He is no one else but Marx-da himself. He is the one.” Jyoti Dasgupta, a devotee told.

Devotees are bringing lot of edibles and milk with them. The whole village is full of red flags and various unions of devotees have come up to take care of crowd management and upbringing of the baby, fondly being referred as Marxy by them. A special train carrying devotees from Tripura and Kerala is also expected to reach Kolkata tomorrow.

The state government of West Bengal has announced that all the devotees would be given free food and lodging facilities for a minimum period of one month. This has led some people from neighboring Bihar and Orissa to set off for the Nandigram even though they admitted that they didn’t know anything about Karl Marx or communism.

While people leaving Bihar were mostly the ones affected by recent floods, people leaving Orissa were mostly Christians affected by recent communal clashes. Railway Minister Lalu Yadav has announced that such Biharis and Oriyas will not be charged railway fare while going to West Bengal. But Christian missionaries have opposed the movement calling it a ‘communist conspiracy’ to convert poor tribals by luring them with promise of food and shelter.

But Baby Marx’s case is also getting mired in controversy. Opposition leader and firebrand politician Mamta Banerjee has termed the whole affair as fraud and has accused ruling CPM of using cheap tricks to win public support. She claimed that the mother of Baby Marx was actually a victim of atrocities by CPM workers in Nandigram but she was sweet-talked by the leftist workers to be a part of this drama and earn handsomely.

“This whole case of Marxy is a fraud story. We all know that CPM goondas had killed men and raped women here. They are now trying to cover up their sins by such cheap tricks. I will soon organize a protest march to Nandigram. Buddhadeb will repent for ever now.” Mamta thundered.

Chief Minister Buddhadeb Bhattacharya has downplayed all the controversies surrounding the incident and instead appealed to media and intelligentsia to take note of the vital signs. He claimed that Baby Marx’s arrival signals arrival of communism in the world.

“Capitalism has failed in the USA and is on its way to its death in the rest of the world. Only communism can save us from the global financial crisis. Marxy’s arrival in this world signals this universal shift in economy and polity. The world is turning left. Marx has arrived.” Mr. Bhattacharya told in a press conference from Kolkata.

Sources tell Faking News that Marxy or Baby Marx could be chosen as the prime ministerial candidate by the left front for the coming general elections. But such a possibility could upset prime ministerial berth hopeful Kumari Behen Mayawati, who is currently being supported by the left parties. Left parties neither confirmed nor denied such reports, which kept rumors alive all through the day.

Meanwhile, left parties have demanded that Baby Marx’s birthday, which incidentally is same as that of Karl Marx i.e. May 5, should be declared a national holiday. In fact, they announced that there would be official holiday form May 1 to May 5 in communist ruled states. Children in these states were very happy with the announcement but they feared that their schools might merge this duration with the normal summer vacation period and deny them extra holidays.

3 Comments:

Pope LUV said...

this is THE SECOND COMING of karl marx?

Saad Akhtar said...

THIS IS FAKE! It's obviously not the reincarnation of K.M.

I urge you to focus on the cat and milk incident. If the spirit of the Real Karl Marx was in the baby's body it would NOT have shared the milk with the cat first. Rather, it would've incited the mice to join together and forcefully take the milk from the cat. Then the cat would be tried as an enemy of the state and a subjugator of mice. Then the cat would disappear, so the milk can be shared equally among the mice in the (glorious) future.

Of course, once the cat is dead there wont be any milk (because the milk was there for the cat, no?) and the mice will probably live off leftovers, but hey! at least it's distributed equally.

Vive la Révolution!

Bring on the angry communist comments about my ignorance of communist and how Vive la Révolution has nothing to do with it.

Rahul said...

@ Saad
LOL! that was funnier than the fake report!! Hope you don't reside in any of those red indian states

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