Saturday, February 28, 2009

Exclusive interview with Masakali of Delhi-6

MasakaliOld Delhi. While every news channel was busy interviewing Abhishek Bachchan and Sonam Kapoor for the recently released movie Delhi-6, Faking News decided to interview the real artist of the movie – Masakali, the pigeon. The marketing managers of Delhi-6 had approached us to carry out interviews of Abhishek or Sonam, but we decided otherwise. This is the second time we are foregoing humans to interview a pigeon, as we truly believe in bird rights.

We caught up with Masakali when she was having golgappa and chaat in Chandni Chowk (now known as Delhi-6). Initially she refused to talk to us as she was very upset and unhappy with the amount of chili powder used by the chaatwala, but after persistent requests Masakali agreed for an exclusive interview. Following are the highlights of the interview:

Faking News (FN): Thanks a lot Miss Masakali for talking to us. The movie has received good reception on box-office, are you happy?

Miss Masakali (MM): Yes, I’m happy. The movie’s success is a message for producers and directors to cast more birds and animals. Remember, apart from me, kaala bandar or the Monkeyman is also there in this movie. People want to see more variety and new faces now.

FN: Yes, true, all pigeons must be very happy too. You can as well launch a party of pigeons and contest the coming general elections like actors in South India! he he he (our reporter tried to act smart ass).

MM: First of all, I’m not a pigeon, I’m a dove (Masakali showed how smart our reporter actually was) and I have no plans to become a politician. I’m just too white for this gray job, which is best rested with humans. Even the pigeons don’t like politics, they are notorious for dropping bird-crap on statutes of politicians, so I guess politics is out of question. Thanks for the appreciation though.

FN: Did you have to prepare especially for this role or it came naturally to you?

MM: I was playing a dove, so it came naturally to me. But this shouldn’t typecast me. I can play all kinds of roles given a chance. In fact just yesterday I got an offer by Farah Khan to play a romantic lead opposite Shahrukh in her next movie where SRK dies and is reborn as a pigeon in his next life.

FN: Wow! So are you signing that movie?

MM: I am yet to take a decision, but I want do films that could win Oscars. I hope Danny Boyle takes notice of me as he likes to make movies on Indian birds and animals. I heard that his movie on slumdogs of India has won him many awards.

FN: All the best for that, you definitely would get noticed as the most popular song of the movie is dedicated to you. Last time when a dove was cast in a movie (Maine Pyar Kiya) they had referred to her as Kabootar, but not this time. But tell us, why do directors always cast doves instead of pigeons?

MM: Although you should ask this question to the producers and directors, I’d try to give you an answer. As I see it, there could be only two reasons – firstly, pigeons crap too much. Can you imagine Sonam putting a pigeon on her head while dancing? She could have got a bird-dropping anytime over her face or hairs, doves don’t crap that often. Secondly, and I guess more importantly, doves are preferred over pigeons because we are fairer in skin color. We are white and they are brown. Indians are known to prefer white complexion over brown.

FN: Do you think there should be a quota for pigeons in Bollywood?

MM: Oh no! I hope humans don’t thrust their sense of fairness and equity over we pigeons. I now dread that your politicians would make the brown pigeons hate us white doves, and make them feel as if the doves were taking away their rights of acting, when in reality it’s the humans who are perpetrators of this discrimination. I would be more than happy if brown pigeons are cast in the movies, but I don’t think quota is the way. Humans have to change their mindset.

FN: Delhi-6 touches upon problems of communalism, casteism, social harmony, and other aspects, but it doesn’t talk about bird rights. Do you think Rakeysh could have done a better job?

MM: sigh! Okay, I will ask Rakeysh to make a movie on this theme next time. Till then, can you please enjoy and critique this movie for what it is, and not for what it is not?

FN: Do you have a boyfriend?

MM: Do you have a life? (flutters her wings furiously) dude, I don’t appreciate such personal questions. Maybe I have not grown into a true celebrity. Perhaps to answer your questions, I need to become more popular and attend some MTV shows or take part in Big Boss 3. So excuse me with such silly questions for now.

FN: You are very short-tempered. Were you so since your egghood?

MM: (laughs) Sorry for appearing so, but my aunty says that I should show some tantrums when talking to media persons. She says it will help me in the long run.

FN: One last question, when do you think the economic slowdown in India will end?

MM: I wonder why you guys (journalists) ask all right questions to wrong people. People like you make Bollywood actresses appear silly when they declare Nepal as a part of India, refer Republic day as a ‘holiday other than Independence Day’, and identify Sonia Gandhi as the ‘first lady of India’. I am not going to fall for the bait!

FN: Very smart! Okay, so the last question finally, where do you see yourself five years down the line?

MM: Hopefully as an unchanged and stronger symbol of world peace, in a world not torn by strife. Those are my only hope and pray.

Faking News: Wonderful Miss Masakali. It was indeed nice talking to you.

Miss Masakali: My pleasure!

3 Comments:

Anonymous said...

lol!!...quite funny

sambha said...

Kudos to faking news for highlighting the plight of minorities in India. Glad to hear Masak Ali's views.

And she is white, so as good a candidate as any for 2010 oscar race.

artveda said...

Hilarious!

Here is a funny mashup video.
Laurel and Hardy dancing to Masakali from Delhi 6:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeEIhpnBYfw

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