Thursday, February 5, 2009

N Gopalaswami and Navin Chawla resign, join IPL

Election BrothersNew Delhi. Election Commissioners N Gopalaswami and Navin Chawla have resigned from the Election Commission of India and have joined the 20-20 cricket company IPL. It is not yet clear in what capacities have they joined IPL, and this confusion is giving birth to dozens of speculations and rumors about the development.

The first reports coming in suggested that both the commissioners had joined IPL as players, even though there is no documented record of them having played 20-20 cricket earlier. This speculation was fuelled by reports that there was shortage of players in IPL after Pakistan refused to send their players and Australians decided to first set their own house in order.

It was also speculated that both Gopalaswami and Chawla were to join Rajasthan Royals as openers, after being convinced by the team’s new stakeholder Shilpa Shetty. Sources confirm that Shilpa has promised to include both of them in the next season of the reality show Big Boss, where they could insult each other and also cry profusely while criticizing the other. Sources further confirm that Anuradha Bali alias Fiza too could star in the Big Boss 3, along with these commissioners.

But these speculations were countered by another set of speculators who argued that both Gopalaswami and Chawla can’t join the same team in IPL, and in fact, no team owner would ever commit this mistake as their rivalry could end the chances of winning the championship of any team.

“They would make a mess out of it as a team. They would run each other out or drop catches to hurt the other. No sensible executive, except the government, will like to have both of them in a single team.” T N Seshan, a cricket expert, told Faking News.

The second most popular speculation about the resignation of both the commissioners suggested that both of them had joined IPL as managers as Lalit Modi could go to jail for his alleged irregularities last year. The rivalry between the two was expected to be passed on to the teams in IPL and it could ensure increased viewer attention and loyalty for IPL.

This set of speculators further informed that Gopalaswami and Chawla were to revamp IPL and introduce new teams, players, commentators, cheerleaders, etc. to make this version of IPL a hit in times of economic recession. IPL could as well be called Indian Political League, to bring together Cricket, Politics and Bollywood – three favorite pastimes of a common Indian – on a common platform to attract maximum attention.

“I have confirmed report that to compensate for the loss of Pakistani players, the two commissioners turned managers have decided to introduce a new team – Sindh Superstars – which will be owned by L K Advani. The team will have male cheerleaders trained by Pramod Muthalik.” a sports reporter of a rival news website informed us, whom we are paying to leak scoops to Faking News.

Our spy reporter also informed us that the new IPL would have special commentary for the hearing impaired in the same format as Doordarshan used to have the news bulletin. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh would be one of the inaugural guest commentators as he had expressed desire to perform commentary during at least one match of Sindh Superstars. He was disallowed normal commentary as his doctors had advised him to speak less and act more post his heart operation.


AKD said...

Renuka Chowdhry and Pramod Muthalik too have expressed interest in joining IPL:). Which teams do you recommend for them?

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