Friday, March 6, 2009

Osama’s underwear auctioned for millions

Osama's SecretsSwat Valley, Pakistan. A Pakistani billionaire has bought underwear of Osama Bin Laden, regarded as a social reformer in this part of the world, for a staggering 7.86 million US dollars. The underwear, which went under the hammer in the wee hours of Friday, was the last one worn by Osama before he realized that underwears were unislamic in nature. Osama had burnt all his previous underwears but decided to auction the last one, apparently to raise funds for operations to support a global jehad.

Hamid Gul, the Pakistani billionaire who bought the underwear, has declared that he will publicly burn the famed underwear along with Indian, Israeli, American, Russian, Filipino, Australian, British, Danish and Dutch national flags to show solidarity with innocent Muslims being persecuted in various parts of the world. He has offered Indian television channels a chance to buy exclusive broadcast rights to telecast live burning of the underwear.

“I want to send a strong signal to the anti-Islamic people that Muslims would no longer take any more shit from them. Modern underwear is a western conspiracy to tighten the noose around the generative powers of the Islamic race. They wanted to scuttle Muslim population growth. Thankfully Osamabhai could see through their evil intentions and opened our eyes.” Hamid Gul told Faking News.

Sources confirm that Osama might ask local Mullahs to issue a fatwa declaring modern underwears as impure and unislamic practice. Sources further confirm that Osama has already stopped wearing any underwear and has ordered his scholars to find out the Arabic and Islamic equivalent of an underwear, which he should wear beneath his white Arabic robe. A mass bombing of all underwears, whether with or withough human bodies, might take place in Swat valley in coming days.

A sizeable part of the Pakistani media has criticized Hamid Gul for spending such a big amount of money for buying a stuff that he ultimately intends to burn. Various commentators expressed shock and dismay at the development, suggesting that such a substantial amount of money could have been alternatively spent to improve tottering economic condition of Pakistan.

Some experts also believe that the auction was just a hogwash, and the real motive of the event was to provide monetary support to Taliban and other forces active in Swat valley in wake of the global financial crisis. A few of such commentators suspect the Pakistani establishment to have provided money, got from USA as economic aid, to Hamid Gul.

Bu such commentators have come under fire for their ‘unreasonable’ and ‘irrational’ comments. Many religious and political leaders have demanded that the underwear auction should not be unnecessary linked with ‘imaginary’ issues like terrorism and economy. They have suggested addressing the real and the vital issue instead – whether it is indeed unislamic to wear a modern underwear.


Mallya said...

any idea how much Gandhi's stuff fetched in auction? higher than Osama's chaddi?

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