Sunday, September 21, 2008

Ganesh idols vomit milk

Central Bureau. Whole of India was shocked today when idols of Lord Ganesh started vomiting milk in various temples all over the country. As soon the clock struck 12 in the midnight and it was September 21, strange noises started emanating from temples which made people rush out of their homes and run towards the local temples. People couldn’t believe their eyes when they saw idols of Ganesh throwing out milk, mostly split and discolored. Such scenes were reported from cities of Delhi, Jaipur, Kolkata, Mysore, Mumbai and Patna among others.

Faking News wants to remind our viewers that it was exactly 13 years back when whole of India and many parts of the world were shocked and surprised when Ganesh idols had started taking in milk. The wheel turned a full circle today when the idols started throwing out milk, which devotees termed as Lord Ganesh vomiting milk.

Lord Ganesh“I saw it with my own eyes. Lord Ganesh was upset and vomiting milk. Something terrible is waiting to happen!” exclaimed Nithish from Patna who also made a mobile video of this latest milk miracle. Nitish refused to share the video clip with us saying he has already given it to two national news channels on exclusive basis.

Various theories were doing the rounds to explain this strange scenario. Faithfuls claim that Lord Ganesh is extremely upset with latest happening in India and around the world and he has expressed his anguish and disgust by vomiting milk offered to him thirteen years back.

Not-so-faithfuls maintain that most of the milk offered to Lord Ganesh thirteen years back was contaminated and fake and finally the elephant god could digest it no more. They also think that Lord Ganesh could have got angry because people have gumption to tell him ‘agle baras tu jaldi aana’ (next year come soon) and each year when he comes, they throw him in water.

Whereas the unfaithfuls maintain that it is a publicity stunt by the elephant god who was worried with falling attention he was getting from television channels. His father Lord Shiva was recently in news due to Amarnath Land row in Kashmir, while his uncle incarnate Lord Ram is always in news. Lord Ganesh was worried that even Sai Baba was getting more air-time than him, and he was confined to news only when Ganesh Chaturthi took place where he was shown (un)ceremoniously being dumped in dirty waters.

The rationalists and scientists, who had explained the earlier instance as a result of surface tension, had palpable tension on their faces when confronted to explain the scenario scientifically. They have asked for more time to come up with a scientific explanation of this shocking development.

Whatever be the explanation, the fact that it is happening ‘13’ years after it first appeared on massive scale is giving jitters to people. People see vomiting and number thirteen together as signs of some deep trouble to come.

People have already started praying to save their souls. All those people who had offered impure milk to Lord Ganesh were seen asking for forgiveness in temples, while Ganesh Chaturthi organizers are consulting saints and religious scholars whether immersion of idols in rivers are keeping with the Hindu faith. Television news channels have put a 24-hour animated Ganesh logo on screen and are running special shows each alternate hour to spread awareness about Lord Ganesh.

Faking News appeals to its readers not to panic unnecessarily.

2 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Pathetic headline for an article.

Ahmed said...

absolutely hilarious, and thought provoking actually!

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