Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Lehman blames Casio for crisis

New York. USA. CEO of Lehman Brothers Mr. Richard Fuld has accused Japanese electronic devices manufacturing company Casio for the bankruptcy and is consulting his lawyers to file a damage suit. Mr. Fuld has claimed that Lehman Brothers was pushed to bankruptcy because its analysts and traders were using faulty financial calculators provided by Casio.

These calculators, most of them being FC-200V model, were bought in bulk by Lehman Brothers in August 2005 for its employees. Incidentally this is the same period when subprime mortgage crisis had started to unfold. Mr. Fuld claims that these calculators are to be blamed for the crisis.

“Our analysts couldn’t get the correct valuation of the mortgage-backed securities as the ‘bond’ function on these calculators was faulty, and ended up overpricing them. Our traders took positions on them in market in good faith” Mr. Fuld informed claiming Lehman Brothers did nothing wrong.

Mr. Fuld is claiming damages worth $ 8.6 billion. Faking News has learnt from its sources that this figure was too arrived at using the same Casio financial calculators so the final figures may change.

Other banks who were hit by the ongoing crisis are rechecking their calculators, computers and even coffee wending machines to find the real reason behind the subprime mortgage crisis. A survey among common man of New York revealed that most of them believed Mr. Fuld.

“This was a well thought conspiracy by Japan to avenge its defeat in Second World War and Pearl Harbor. Now I strongly believe that 9-11 attacks were carried by Japanese.” George McCain, a resident of New York told us during the survey.

Back in India, sentiments were strong as it is commonly believed that Indians know and perform most of the mathematical calculations by heart and don’t use calculator.

“We should encourage the indigenous culture of memorizing mathematical tables and formula and discourage use of modern equipments. India should not blindly ape west.” BJP’s leader and former finance minister Yashwant Sinha told Faking News through a message sent by BlackBerry®.

Meanwhile, Casio has denied that its calculators were faulty. Chief Technological Officer of the company told Faking News that Casio operates on six sigma model and it’s next to impossible that such a large number of defective products were offloaded in market. He hoped that the bankrupt Lehman Brothers won’t be able to afford legal fees and the case against them would be dropped.


Moses John Wesley said...

This rocks :)

tusker said...

Too good

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