Thursday, October 2, 2008

The deal behind nuclear deal

Washington, D.C. Whole of India was celebrating the news that US Senate had approved the Indo-US nuclear deal. Incidentally it proved to be a very auspicious day for Indians as birthday of father of nation Mahatma Gandhi and apparently one of the major festivals of Muslims (Faking News sources inform that it is called Eid) also fell on the same day.

With Senate giving its approval, the nuclear deal will now become operational and India can finally have an extra source of energy. Health drink Boost was the last known source of energy that India, especially some Indian cricketers, had used, but it didn’t seem to work. Nuclear energy is supposed to light up houses in rural India and provide electricity for agriculture.

Faking News editorial team had tough time digesting the possibility that US was willing to cooperate with India to have an extra source of energy/electricity without having earned anything in return. Our team dug deeper into the facts and found out the real deal behind the deal.

Faking News has discovered that India will not be getting nuclear energy for free or at concessional rates, but we would be paying a considerable price for it. According to the ‘real’ deal, US would provide us only that much nuclear fuel as much of bio-gas fuel they get in return from India.

Bush BuffaloOur special correspondent has got hold of this exclusive picture that clearly shows US President George W Bush (standing in left side of the photograph in blue shirt) inspecting a buffalo (also called biogas fuel generator) gifted to him by Prime Minister Manmohan Singh.

According to the deal, India will not only provide energy from biogas, but will also supply livestock to US to meet the requirement of raw materials. In fact, Indian companies would also construct biogas plants in various US states. Many claim that the total cost involved in accomplishing all the above tasks would prove to be much higher than the value of nuclear fuel India will get in return.

With this clandestine deal behind the nuclear deal coming to the fore, it has caused a major political controversy in India.

BJP claimed that their deepest fears have been proved to be right. Party leader Mr. Vinay Katiyar told, “UPA government is showing complete disrespect to sentiments of people of India. We Indians can never allow our cows to be sent across the border to USA. This is a conspiracy to demoralize Hindus.”

Congress has rubbished the claims of BJP. Congress leader and former Chief Minister of Madhya Pradesh Mr. Digvijay Singh explained, “BJP is spreading rumors. US don’t want cows from India as they are still afraid of mad cow disease. You can very well see in the picture that Prime Minister gifted a buffalo instead of a cow to US president. Congress has always cared for each section of the society; all cows are safe in the country.”

Left parties has declared a major demonstration against the central government on Friday and has ridiculed leaders like Lalu Yadav and Mulayam Singh Yadav who are supporting the government.

“These leaders, who have grown on cows and buffaloes, now owe an explanation to the people of country. They had refused to send genuine milk to China but why are they silent on government’s plan to send cows and buffaloes to USA? This is a complete surrender and we are not going to tolerate any more.” CPM leader Brinda Karat told Faking News.

Meanwhile US companies are designing special aircrafts to carry livestock from India when the deal becomes operational. A consultancy company headed by an NRI has been hired to provide technical and strategic inputs.


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