Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Lee's kiss creates controversy

Ishant ne LeeMohali. Adding a new controversy to the already charged up India-Australia test series, Siddhartha Negi – Founder activist of MNS (Manoos Nari Sanghatan) has filed a written complaint against Australian speedster Brett Lee for blowing a kiss at Indian pacer Ishant Sharma during the third day of the 2nd test Match at Mohali. He has alleged that Brett Lee has shown complete disregard for Indian laws and culture and such an Act of obscenity should not go unpunished. He has demanded an unconditional apology from Brett Lee and went on to add that his organization will not allow any song sung by Asha Bhosle in any language to be played anywhere in the country since she had released an Album with Brett Lee a few years back.

In a peaceful protest against the visiting Australian team, MNS activists pelted stones and broke the window panes of Mauj’s Head Office, the music company which had released Brett Lee’s debut Music Album in India. When reminded that Brett is an Australian National and Indian Laws might not apply to him, MNS Legal Head Rachita Maheshwari said, “Brett Lee has stated that Mohali is like his homeground, hence we can issue him a Ration Card from Mohali District, allow him to vote and then book him under Indian Laws”.

Brett, when contacted by our special correspondent said that his Flying Kiss was being blown out of proportion. Brett also said that Ishant was swinging both ways and that he was just trying to guard his wicket. The Indian camp has played down the incident stressing that no love has been lost between the two sides. Leading wicket-taker and cricket analyst Yogesh Chandorkar has said that, this is just another ploy by Greg Chappell to upset the Indian team. “Chappell’s strategy has backfired. He had advised the Aussies to understand Indian Culture. They have clearly misunderstood our culture and are now blowing kisses at our players” he reflected thoughtfully.

Ishant rubbished rumors that he was worried about the incident. He said that he will continue to work on his swing and he is expecting much more lateral movement as the series progresses. Analyst Neha Pathak from a Leading Investment bank was worried about the long term returns from Ishant’s endorsement deals but rock star Neha Saraf, was quite upbeat about the incident and is reportedly planning to release the Hindi Remix Version of The popular song, “I Kissed a Boy….” with Brett Lee.

Meanwhile the Australian received support from unexpected quarters. Just before the release of his book “Cover your Stump”, Leading gay rights activist and Fantasy Cricket winner Rohit Jain has written a strongly worded letter in support of Brett Lee’s right to express himself on and off the field. He quotes the Theory of Human Evolution to support his claim. “Home-Sapiens being followed by Homo-Sexuals is a natural extension in the chain of Human Evolution” he maintained. “The Prime Minister is busy signing the Nuclear Deal to light homes across the county when thousands of gays are living in utter darkness”, he added angrily.

Ritesh Jain, who is on an Indefinite Alcohol Diet in support of Gays told us that he idolizes the Union Health Minister Ambumoni Ramdoss and that article 377 of IPC is totally unconstitutional. He added that the article curbs the basic rights of the community. He is shocked at Home Minister Shivraj Patil's attitude towards the whole issue. “Everything should start at Home” he added, leaving the interpretation open for our Faking News readers.

Critic Saurabh Naik from Young Legs Foundation blamed it on the Fab 5 in the Indian team,”There are a lot of 35+ cricketers in the Indian cricket team who, being unable to understand the New Age Style of cricket have given rise to the entire controversy” he said maintaining his earlier stand that India should dispose of its ageing stars.

Union Minister for Unacceptable Sections of the Society, Mr. Angad Kalra has said that he will set a high level committee to look into the issue. “We are also considering the possibility of Delimitation of seats for Gays to protect the secular fabric of the country” he said.

(This article has been submitted by self-styled Special Correspondents for Faking News - Nikhil and Shreyash - they are solely responsible for fakingness of the article and quotes)


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