Saturday, October 25, 2008

Religious leaders generate SHARM

Religions of the World, Unite!New Delhi. Cutting across religious lines, leaders and representatives from various faiths came together and announced formation of SHARM (Save Humanity And Religions Movement). These leaders have accused Indian government of defaming one religion after another in a systematic manner and dividing the society on communal lines.

“First they branded Sikh saints like Bhindaranwale as terrorists, then they targeted Muslim maulvis, and now they are branding Hindu saadhvis as terrorists. In other parts of the world, Christian pastors are being branded as pedophiles and Buddhist Monks as being called murderers. The pattern is clear – to destroy all religions one by one. We have to unite and fight this evil.” an unidentified spokesperson told mediapersons.

SHARM has also announced its tagline – either you are with us, or you are besharm (shameless).

Saadhvi Purna Satya Devi, a member of SHARM, exhorted all religious leaders to forget internal differences and support SHARM. She especially cautioned Christian leaders not be complacent as government was planning to implicate them in some old cases like murder of Sister Abhaya, and put them behind bars as well. She averred that no religion was safe in the country anymore.

SHARM has demanded that religious leaders and institutions should be restored to the highest order in the society as they were the original First Estate. It also accused media of not being helpful enough and blindly believing what the government says.

“The First Estate is under siege and the Fourth Estate is in deep freeze. Such a situation is not good for humankind as it allows for chaos and anarchy. It’s time to act!” Mohammad Afzal Chishti, another member of SHARM, told.

Members of SHARM plan to launch an awareness campaign to expose the government. They claim that government has a hidden agenda to divide the citizen of India on communal lines.

“When blasts in Hindu areas happen, they catch and kill Muslims. When blasts in Muslim areas happen, they arrest Hindus. What is the government trying to convey? It’s a clear case of pitching one religion against the other. They want to create a sense of insecurity and lack of trust among citizens and make a fertile ground for divisive politics.” the same unidentified spokesperson explained.

The timing of formation of SHARM – just after the arrest of the first Hindu terrorism suspect and just before several states go to Assembly elections – is raising some eyebrows and many people have called it a political gimmick to shift focus away from religious terrorism.

But there were a few takers for the idea too, who believed that a negative image of religion has been pushing economy on the downturn.

“If people lose faith in religions, they will need to undertake substitute activities to satisfy their spiritual and paranormal desires. Such activities would most likely be consumption of opium or keen interest in topics such as aliens. Since supply of opium is very limited and demand is expected to grow manifold, expected spending on opium will surpass current spending on religious acts. In case of aliens, media would spot an opportunity and they will spend heavily on producing consumable media on aliens and allied topics. All this means increased spending, which will adversely impact liquidity in the market, and this is not good for our economy in current times.” Economist Stephan Livid told Faking News.

Mr. Livid asserted that it is no coincidence that markets have been falling in India at a time when religious groups and leader are getting implicated in terrorist activities.

It would be interesting to see how markets would react to this development when they open on Monday for trading.


Deepak said...

Faking News into Freakonomics now?!! good stuff, lagey raho! ;)

Diler Dogra said...

Ahmed Patel: madam. I am getting information that we are loosing a muslim vote bank after we arrested and killed some muslim terrorists.

AK Antony: This is not good news we need to do something

Sonia Gandhi: I am feeling nervous, let me go to the loo.

Manmohan Singh: Madam I am coming too

After the Loo

Sonia Gandhi. I think the best thing to do is to arrest some ABVP people and embarass BJP. This way Muslims will feel we are fair and Hindus will think BJP is a terrorist party.

Manmohan: Excellent Madam, you have killed two birds with one stone. (manmohand goes and kisses madams feet)

Sonia Gandhi: (Shouts at Shiv Raj Patil). Are you sleeping again, did you hear what we said...

Shiv Raj Patil: I am sorry madam, can you please repeat.

Sonia Gandhi: Ahmed Patel will give you the details, go and do as told

Shi Raj patil: Yes Madam

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