Sunday, October 26, 2008

US to grant H-1B visas to recovery agents

Washington, D.C. Faking News undercover correspondent from White House, Deep Quote, has reported that US could issue around ten thousands of H-1B visas to loan recovery agents working for various private sector banks of India. Deep Quote informs that the formal announcement of this decision could be made during the G-20 summit, being dubbed as ''Capitalism Summit'', to be hosted by President George Bush on November 15 in Washington.

Subprime CrisisIt is understood that finally US policy makers have found out that the latest economic downturn, being dubbed as death knell of capitalist economy, was a result of the subprime mortgage crisis, where a large number of people defaulted on housing and other loans. The inability to recover capital from these people had a cascading effect on the whole banking system, now threatening to wipe out the entire financial market of USA.

The law makers, ably assisted by leading strategic consulting group McKinsey & Company, have concluded that if the loans were to be recovered from the defaulters, the damage can be undone even now. Deep Quote reports that McKinsey had suggested US policy makers and lawmakers to hire loan recovery agents from India who are very effective in hunting down defaulters and getting back the loaned capital.

The consulting company employed a complex mathematical model to calculate the number of such agents required. The result was 10,000, which is more than 60% of total H-1B visas that the US government grants in a financial year. Apparently McKinsey consultants have convinced the authorities to either raise the upper limit or revoke the current visas to accommodate the loan recovery agents.

Democrat presidential candidate Barack Obama has reacted very sharply to the development when Deep Quote informed him (by writing an anonymous mail) about the development. Obama also thanked George Bush as he claimed that Bush has given him a very potent tool for electioneering.

“Most of these so-called subprime loans have been given to blacks and other minorities, and by hiring Indian recovery agents, Republicans are trying to fill a sense of insecurity among these groups. I would appeal to blacks and other minority groups to vote for me as I would cancel all such visas and send the recovery agents back to India.” Obama reacted by replying to the anonymous mail.

Indian arm of McKinsey & Company refused to talk to Faking News when our correspondent tried to contact them. Our mail to them was not anonymous.


pranav mehta said...

simply superb solution to US sub prime mortgage crisis...

Anonymous said...

Great. I have become regular visitor to your site now! Keep it up!

Fundscare said...

The original advice you received, to send the CA a letter stating that the debt was settled in full and provide a copy of the original letter demonstrating this fact, is sound imho. You might also want to pull a copy of your credit report to make sure they aren't reporting a debt they shouldn't even be collecting.
Recovery Agencies

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