Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Clashes in India over Obama victory

New Delhi. Violent clashes erupted between various groups celebrating victory of Democrat candidate Barack Obama in the US presidential elections. Most of these groups were claiming Obama as ‘one of them’ while the other groups disputed their claims. Undercover sources say that around 44 people have been injured, 13 of the seriously, in the clashes in different parts of the country.

Groups of Hindus and Muslims clashed with each other in Malegaon, Maharashtra in the morning as soon as the news of Obama having won the elections was confirmed. While Muslims claimed Obama as one of them for having ‘Hussein’ as the middle name, Hindus claimed Obama to be a devout worshiper of Hanumaan as he always keeps a small idol of monkey god with him. The situation had become quite tense as both the groups were hurling jokes at each other but was brought under control when police opened fire at the crowd injuring many.

Clashes were also reported from Tamilnadu as groups of Tamils and Hindi speaking people got into an argument in Chennai. Tamils claimed that name of the new US president was Obamma which clearly proved that he was a Tamil like people having names like Jayamma, Muniamma or Nagaratnamma. North Indians disputed the claim saying Obama’s first name was Barack which was like any other Hindi/Urdu name such as Mubarak, Mehak, or Sadak. Tamilnadu Chief Minister M Karunanidhi has criticized north Indians for making an issue out of it and he challenged them to first prove that Lord Rama ever existed.

Although Shiv Sena criticized Karunanidhi for his remarks on Lord Rama, the party warned that any victory procession by North Indians over the US election results will not be tolerated. So while clashes with north Indians didn’t take place in Mumbai, the city still witnessed some violence as Shiv Sainiks attacked a procession by Goan Christians who were celebrating victory of Obama as they thought Obama was a devout Christian and would bring peace to the world.

Clashes were also reported from Chitrakoot in Uttar Pradesh where Brahmins and Dhobis attacked each other. Dhobis, one of the so-called backward castes among Hindus, claimed Obama as one of their own as he had a donkey for an election symbol, while Brahmins claimed that Obama was undoubtedly a Brahmin as he was a learned man and was in power now. Situation got very tense when Brahmins taunted that if Dhobis were right then the dog that Obama had promised for his daughters would be the most useless character in White House as it would be a "dhobi ka kutta".

Clashes also took between Marketing and Sales department of Emami Group as sales people claimed that it is going to be very difficult to sell “Fair and Handsome” cream now, as Indian men may no longer aspire to have a white skin after Obama becoming the US president. Marketing team accused sales team of throwing excuses for not working and claimed that Shahrukh Khan remained a stronger motivator than Barack Obama in India.

While these different senses of belongings and beliefs kept Indians clashing with each other as soon as the results of US elections were announced, people in US expressed solidarity with each other and hoped that US will emerge as a stronger and wealthier nation in coming years.


Palin Dosa said...

मैं हूं ओबामा काला
दुनिया का नया लाला
सबकी बत्ती होगी गुल
मेरे पिछवाड़े में चुल
पालिन को मेरा प्यार
मैक्कन है मेरा यार
मुसलमान नहीं हूं मैं
सबसे तेज़ वही हूं मैं
काला हूं पर हूं दिलवाला
सबका निकलेगा दीवाला
मैं हू सबसे अच्छा पोएट
मैं हूं ओबामा द ग्रेट

Nikhil Narayanan said...

Great stuff.
Hats off Patrakar.


TheAnand said...

In Cochin's Navy Quarters where a bunch of navy soldiers thought that the chief was trying to portrait Obama was gay when he asked them to sleep with the barracks....this was later hushed by the Navy claiming tht he meant in the barracks..not with the barracks and cheif has been sent to a IELTS coaching class.

Anonymous said...

ossum humor. gusshow!!

Anonymous said...

awesome man.

Post your Comment, real or fake...