Monday, November 3, 2008

Donkeyman sighted at Pakistan-Afghanistan border

Friendly DonkeymanNWFP, Pakistan. Villages and valleys falling around Pakistan-Afghanistan border are panic stricken for the last couple of days as locals complain of attacks by a strange creature they are calling ‘Donkeyman’. The Donkeyman, as reported by locals, has a face of donkey but body of a man, and has been attacking them with latest US made weapons for the last two days.

“My son was hit by a bullet in leg when he had gone to jungle to bring woods for fire. Donkeyman appeared from behind the tree and fired on him and fled.” Osama Majid, resident of Bajaur tribal region informed. Similar stories of attacks by Donkeyman are doing the rounds in adjoining areas as well.

Local residents further inform that Donkeyman suddenly turned hostile only a couple of days back. Initially he appeared as a peaceful creature to them as he tried to talk to them in their own language and introduced himself as Obamanjur Ahmed. Although Obamanjur, or the Donkeyman, maintained that he was originally from US, he never even used harsh words against them, let alone firing with bullets at them. Obamanjur had even brought wine and clothes for the locals as gift from US.

Hostile Donkeyman“We really don’t know what happened to Obamanjur suddenly, for the last couple of days he has changed his friendly attire into one of those US soldiers and has been trying to attack us. He has been accusing us of supporting Osama. We are completely confused.” Parvez Ali, another resident told.

Pakistan president Asif Ali Zardari had called up his Indian counterpart Pratibha Devisingh Patil for help as the Indian president is known for her profound knowledge on spirits and the occult. Ms. Patil has assured him of help after studying the footprints of Donekeyman in detail. In the meantime she has directed Indian Home Minister Shivraj Patil to brief Mr. Zardari about lessons India had learnt from Monkeyman.

Meanwhile a professor of psychology in Stanford University, Mr. Knight Siamelon, has rubbished the whole idea of Donkeyman existing and has called it a result of misunderstanding of US politics and policies by Pakistani masses. Mr. Siamelon says that the whole seemingly strange situation can easily be understood if one sees through the signs and symbols.

“Donkey is the electoral symbol of the Democrats, and the democrat presidential candidate Barack Obama had issued a statement a couple of days back that catching Osama would be his priority if he wins. Doesn’t that explain everything?” Siamelon sounded quite convincing to Faking News.


Saad Akhtar said...

Dude! WTF have you been smoking.. ?? :)

Can I get some?

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