Thursday, December 11, 2008

Pakistan argues for terrorism to fight recession

Islamabad, Pakistan. After shocking the world by accepting terrorism charges, Pakistan has now argued that terrorism could be a very potent tool to fight the international financial crisis. Pakistan has appealed to the international community, especially India, to support it on the issue of breeding terrorism, which can help the countries ward off threats of economic slowdown.

“Due to grave threats of terrorism, people are not sure if they would be alive on coming days to enjoy their lives. Such a fear causes them to spend heavily on their present day, which helps raise the domestic consumption levels and increases liquidity in markets. Such a scenario surely helps terrorism affected countries to be well guarded against threats of economic slowdown.” Finance Minister of Pakistan Shaukat Tarin explained.

Talking exclusively to Faking News, Mr. Tarin further argued that had USA allowed terrorist activities on its soil after 9/11, they would have been better placed to face the present financial crisis.

“The failure of investment banks would not have impacted the psychology of a common American voter if he was shit scared about his life being taken away by a terrorist any moment. I think it was a blunder by Bush administration to ensure unassailable homeland security.” Mr. Tarin opined.

Mr. Tarin was all praise for his neighbor India, which has an abysmal record in homeland security. He argued that this was the singular reason why India was still by and large unaffected by the global economic slowdown. He further claimed that this was also the reason why various incumbent governments were winning elections in India, unlike the defeat of Bush administration in USA.

“Clearly terrorism has benefitted India and the various political parties of India. Therefore I fail to understand why India is hell bent upon Pakistan eliminating the terrorist camps. If those camps go away, India will start facing a lot of domestic problems, I hope Indian government realizes it and starts behaving maturely and prudently.” Shaukat Tarin told Faking News.

Faking News tried to get an Indian viewpoint on the whole issue of terrorism as a tool to fight recession, but Indian diplomats and bureaucrats were too busy to voice an opinion.

2 Comments:

vijay said...

freakonomics!

Saad Akhtar said...

I was reading this in my RSS reader and forgot it was from Faking News.

Was reading and thinking OMGWTF this is totally my next comic's fodder. Then realised :)

Good one. I for one am totally terrified of terror and spend all day maxing out my credit cards on daily pleasures and orgies. Who knows in today's uncertain times.

Post your Comment, real or fake...