Friday, January 30, 2009

Mahatma Gandhi assassinated by unidentified gunman

Mahatma GandhiNew Delhi. Veteran Congress leader and Father of the Nation, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, also known as Bapu, was shot dead by an unidentified gunman today. Mahatma Gandhi was going to attend an evening prayer when a person fired three shots from point blank range, fatally injuring the Mahatma.

Mahatma was 140 years old and had retired from active politics exactly 61 years back.

“That guy touched his feet, and when Mahatma was blessing him, he rose up and fired three bullets into Bapu’s chest,” a BBC reporter present at the spot told Faking News.

No Indian journalist, whether belonging to a television channel or printing company, was present at the scene as Indian journalists had stopped following Gandhi’s activities ever since he retired from active politics.

But now, after Mahatma has been murdered, suddenly the interest levels in Gandhi have gone up.

Google hot trends, depicting most searched keywords by Indians, saw words like ‘old Indian father’ ‘khaadi tycoon’ ‘saint murdered’ etc. being searched more frequently than usual keywords like ‘sex’ ‘jobs’ and ‘India-Sri Lanka match’. News channels too included this news of assassination in their news bulletins apart from their special bulletins on crime news.

Political parties too have taken note of the assassination and have started blaming each other for the tragic development. Congress, the party that Mahatma wanted to dissolve post independence, has accused Hindu groups of plotting the assassination to disturb the communal harmony of the country. Congress claimed that Mahatma was still a member of the party when he was killed.

Samajwadi Party, which has solemnly tried to bring back Gandhi to mainstream politics by fielding the modern-age Gandhi Sanajy Dutt, too echoed their ally’s sentiments and asked for a ban on RSS. Party leader Amar Singh further suspected that Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Kumari Behen Mayawati could be hand-in-glove with the assassins as she had earlier attacked Mahatma for calling dalits as harijans.

But BJP has rubbished such charges and has suggested that Pakistan backed Muslim terrorists might have assassinated the Hindu saint, as he was going to attend a Hindu prayer. Party has further suggested that some leaders of Congress could also be involved as they didn’t want any other Gandhi to exist other than Sonia, Rahul and Priyanka. BJP asked why Bapu was not rushed to any nearby government hospital after being shot but instead taken to Birla House, and suggested that there could be a conspiracy behind the murder.

There were also reports of ethnic clashes between Brahmins and Baniyas in some parts of the country after a television news channel claimed that the killer of the Mahatma was a Brahmin. It should be noted that Mahatma Gandhi belonged to the Baniya caste of the Hindu caste system. This fact too was presented by BJP as being a conspiracy to weaken its Brahmin-Baniya support base ahead of the general elections.

Away from the political chaos, many Indians expressed grief over the sad development and have demanded that the assassination plotters must be arrested and brought to book. They wanted to know more about Gandhi and his ideals and asked if Gandhian philosophy could fight the economic recession. Faking News reporter expressed his intellectual inability to answer the question.

20 Comments:

Baba Chhuchhundar said...

Defence Minister Antony, who is hospitalized after slipping and falling during the Republic Day Parade, sternly warned from his bed that Indian Forces were ready "for all options" to deal with the attack. The Ministry of External Affairs despatched high profile bureaucrats to all Capitals with xerox copies of "Pakistan is terrorism's epicentre" dossier.

Anonymous said...

What are you trying to prove buddy , you cannot be a true Indian at all.
SHAME ON YOU

Himanshu said...

yaah yaah.. SHAME ON THE WRITER FOR MAKING FUN OF POLITICAL PARTIES by using the name of GANDHI. Had he/she made fun of BHAGWAN RAM or MAA DURGA, the writer would have been hailed as TRUE SECULAR INDIAN. but just a mention of Gandhi in a funny way makes him/her a SHAMEFUL character. spineless morons

Anonymous said...

Please remove this post immediately. You can't Mahatma Gandhi cannot be used for such crap.

Anonymous said...

I heard Gandhi used to sleep with his niece, why haven't u posted her reactions? was she very sad?

Anonymous said...

this is the ultimate stop making a Mahatama Gandhi a part of your jokes

Anonymous said...

LOL!! very good, mahatma would be smiling

Anonymous said...

Boss... well written...

jas said...

This is amazing.... lol Keep it up.

very funny

Anonymous said...

I know this is really late, but...

At first I was a bit shocked. But those who censure this 'article', try reading it first. Do you even realize what it says? Satire isn't written solely for the sake of wit- good satire has social commentary in it as well (otherwise it would just be comedy).
So yeah, good job- started out a bit iffy, but it became pretty good towards the end.

wildflower said...

Good read!!

Anonymous said...

teri ma ki choot chaate langoor

Madhuban Realtech said...

great man


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Boss... well written...
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