Monday, January 26, 2009

Obama administration grants visa to Modi

High Flying ModiAhmedabad/New Jersey. With President Obama earnestly winding back gross injustices by the previous administration, the insult it had heaped upon five crore Gujaratis has been undone. A fresh visa has been issued to Gujarat chief minister Narendra Modi. The US visa of the elected representative of the most prosperous state of the biggest democracy in the world had been revoked by the earlier regime.

The deplorable act by former President George Bush was ostensibly based on charges that the Modi government mutely witnessed, if not actively aided, the anti-Muslim pogrom in Gujarat in 2002. Quarters inimical to the interests of Gujarat, including the National Human Rights Commission, had blown up skirmishes as a sort of ethnic cleansing although such charges have not been upheld in the Supreme Court to date.

As EU countries too took the lead from US and made it clear that the CM was not welcome there, top bureaucrats had to put in tremendous efforts to scan the world map to locate obscure foreign capitals their boss could travel to.

As if to compensate for the agony caused to Modi due to the insult, the new Secretary of State has extended a special invite to White House. Hillary Clinton told news persons: “He is the only one in India to endorse the US stand publicly although most others do so in private. It is in our interests to cultivate this man.” She was referring to the loud noises of New Delhi demanding that Pakistan hand over of suspected masterminds behind the Mumbai terrorist attacks.

Faking News learns that the CM’s trip to US will be organised in record time upon actual receipt of the visa. Bureaucrats have already started contacting top business tycoons of the country. They are confident of organizing the biggest ever business delegation to accompany Modi, who has been certified as ‘Prime Ministerial material’ by the honchos.

At New Jersey, American Moteliers Association chief Mahendrabhai Motel (His tribe, controlling the Motel business in US, has changed surname from Patel to Motel) was pleased at the decision. His lobby group had mounted a vigorous campaign to obtain the visa for the icon. He was however bitter that the international media chose to black out this far-reaching decision.

Instead, he complained, all attention was reserved for the other two measures announced on Day One - lifting the ban on international aid to NGOs that advocate abortion and closing down the concentration camp at Guanta NaMo. The AMA chief speculated that the thought of Guanta NaMo must have come to Barackbhai when he was considering the more pressing issue of visa to Modi. For, Narendra Modi is fondly known as NaMo among non-resident Gujaratis, living legally or illegally in US, who campaigned for Obama.

However, Mahendrabhai denied credit for securing the White House invit. He said: “Our lobby group is now in recess. Maybe it was Sonalben who got things through.” He was referring to Sonal Shah, former Google Philanthropy executive selected as an advisory member in Obama’s 15-member transition team.

Sonal Shah dismissed the rumours as vehemently as the earlier ones highlighting her purported connection with VHP. She however acknowledged India’s contribution in her rise to fame, because the country has any number of poor people whom she could channelize Google’s philanthropy to.

Faking News had to conduct extensive investigations to trace the person instrumental in the visa restoration to Narendrabhai and his White House invit. It happened to be Yousufbhai. When confronted with the scoop, Yousuf Raza Gilani challenged it, asking for credible evidence. Distinguishing between ‘evidence’ and ‘information’, the Pakistan PM said he had only brought certain information to US knowledge and that may have led to the change of attitude towards Modi.

Modi’s remarks at a conference of Forensic Science in Ahmedabad were apparently liked by Gilani and Hillary Clinton. He had asked: “We tell Pakistan that Ajmal Kasab has given the statement and consider this as evidence as everything (planning and executing Mumbai terror attack) has been done from Pakistan. We tell US also that his statement should be considered as evidence. What if Pakistan and US both ask India that does your law have similar provision which accepts Kasab's statement as evidence? What can be more unfortunate?”

Modi’s speech received tremendous applause in Pakistan. Prime Minister Gilani responded, “Gujarat Chief Minister Modi has said that mere information cannot be evidence. He agreed with my stand that information is not evidence.”

The acceptance Modi has found in Islamabad and Washington has sent shivers in the Congress establishment at New Delhi. Its spokesman Shakeel Ahmed told reporters that Modi's statement becomes all the more damning as it was made in a meeting of forensic experts of a dozen countries. Terming it as a “matter of great concern,” he demanded, “BJP should ask Modi why he gave such an irresponsible statement. It is unfortunate if someone starts supporting those who attack India to score political points.”

BJP chief L K Advani has clarified that the real essence of Modi’s speech was entirely different. “There is no law in our country that would consider the statement of an arrested person before a top-level police official as evidence. The abolished POTA had that provision, GUJCOC (Gujarat Control of Organised Crime) has the same provision and even MACOCA has the similar provision,” Modi had said and added, “We also need a similar law at the national level to fight terrorism.”

Modi had concluded his speech: “If one who has committed a crime makes a statement before a higher rank police official, it should be treated as evidence in the court of law.” A vibrant roadside vendor in Gujarat, who has signed an MoU for Rs 100 crore project with the state government, told Faking News that instances of ‘higher rank police officials’ bumping off alleged culprits in fake encounters must be ignored if business is to flourish.

(This special report has been brought to you by chhuchhundarbaba)


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