Wednesday, January 7, 2009

RGV dumps Ritiesh, to star Ajmal Kasab in ‘Patriot’

RGV Ki QasabMumbai. The controversy over the visit of Ram Gopal Varma to the Taj Mahal Palace & Tower as part of the VIP team soon after the November 2008 Mumbai attacks has done more damage to the Deshmukhs than originally thought. Apart from contributing to the sack of Maharashtra Chief Minister Vilasrao Deshmukh, who led the entourage of ‘site-seeing’ VIPs, it has cost dearly to his son Ritiesh.

Ritiesh Deshmukh was one of the honorable members of the team. Jealous rivals in the industry had set up certain television journalists to raise a big hue and cry. They shouted from rooftops that Varma was trying to cash in on the tragedy, which only the local channels had the rightful legitimacy for. The junket stoked speculations that the up-and-coming – courtesy his illustrious father – bit actor would be doing a lead role in a new RGV movie.

Lead characters of Ram Gopal’s creations have always been dons and gangsters, like in real life India. His real-life based thrillers like Satya, Sarkar, Company etc have been runaway hits. In a significant departure, Varma is now trying to do a ‘Bharat’ Manoj Kumar and has named the new project ‘Patriot’.

Propped up by such a positive role, the Deshmukhs calculated, Maharashtra could in due course do an Andhra Pradesh or Tamil Nadu. There is no separator line between real-life CMs and reel-life hero/heroines in these States.

The junior Deshmukh has not done particularly well so far in Bollywood. A movie by Ram Gopal Varma could have lifted him from oblivion to the top league. He did entertain hopes of starring in ‘Patriot’, despite the father getting the boot in the wake of the terror attack. After all, Indian politicos never lose their clout and have a knack of coming back from wilderness with a bang. Alas, the ace director has poured ice cold water in the hopes.

In a special interview with Faking News’ (dis)honourary correspondent Chhuchhundarbaba, Ram Gopal Varma disclosed that he has zeroed in on the most appropriate actor for playing ‘Patriot’.

“I won’t call him a new face,” the innovative director confessed: “My hero’s CCTV images had been flashed from Mumbai’s VT station to the entire world, so he is quite a familiar face to millions.”

RGV’s new icon will be none other than the lone survivor from the terror team that laid siege on Mumbai, Md Ajmal Amir, alias Kasab (or Qasab).

“I don’t care if he hails from Faridkot as Pranabda claims. That way, isn’t L K Advani from Sindh too?” the director posed. Kasab has another factor in his favour. He is now lodged in the same dungeon in Arthur Road jail that once housed the Bollywood superhero Sanjubaba (No relation to Chhuchhundarbaba). It is rumored that the ‘senior’ will make a special appearance in what is touted to become the biggest blockbuster of the decade.

Poor Ritiesh can hardly claim to be a better bet than such a super duper rival. His powerful, doting father had allegedly bungled his chances, once earlier. In 2005, the snobbish brat had been implicated in a brawl at Pune’s Fire N Ice nightclub along with Aftab Shivdasani, which could have given him the honor of going to jail. Instead, political muscle was allegedly used to settle scores and the club’s licence was revoked.

It may be noted that immediately after the Taj Hotel fiasco, the then CM’s spin doctors called in chaps from some rival TV channels to douse the fire (not in the hotel). Footage had been compiled which quoted RGV as clarifying that the CM had summoned him, not as a film director, but as an engineer.

Vilasrao even declared in the footage, “Many people do not know that Ram Gopal is a Civil Engineer by profession. He holds a real degree, unlike some visionary nuclear scientists who use the prefix of Dr without toiling. Also, RGV has constructed, destroyed and reconstructed so many impressive sets for his films.”

Naturally, Varma was needed to assess the likely cost of reconstruction. He did not go to visualize a suitable set for a movie based on the carnage. The channels selected to educate viewers about this ‘truth’ backtracked at the last moment upon getting a grave threat. It is alleged that Narayan Rane was the mastermind behind the conspiracy. Enjoying excellent clout with the Delhi dynasty, he had declared a war on Deshmukhs even before the war on terror was thought of.

Transcripts in the possession of Faking News confirm that his aides had cautioned the channels to not proceed further. They were advised that Rane was destined to ascend the gaddi soon and any attempt at bailing out his arch rival would not be in their interests.

(This exclusive scoop has been brought to you by chhuchhundarbaba)


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