Friday, February 20, 2009

Study locates Dawood in Mumbai

Dawood DecipheredMumbai. India's most wanted criminal, who is also the biggest enemy of the whole humankind, Dawood Ibrahim, has been located. Dawood could be hiding at a high-security site, hardly 10 km away from Nariman House, the Trident and the Taj, scenes of Mumbai mayhem in November last.

Integrated studies have revealed that the underworld don could be one of the VVIP guests at the Arthur Road prison. The solitary cells of the jail have earlier been home to dignitaries like Sanjay Dutt, Abu Salem and his moll Monica Bedi. This is in contrast to the widely held belief that Dawood has been residing in some foreign country.

The breakthrough has been achieved by a research team of the National Institute of Armchair Generals (NIAG) led by Prof L Vaiththiyanaathan. The veteran strategic affairs pundit has been in the inventing and advising profession since the time of Jawaharlal Nehru.

Vaiththiyanaathan explained that the former Prime Minister, his daughter Indira, and her son Rajiv all had a great vision for international diplomacy by India. Nehru had established NIAG with a mandate to conduct advanced research in the area. This has successfully kept the country's serving Generals, Admirals and Marshals in check.

NIAG is among the 500 odd "institutions of excellence" like IFACFI, IMTNII, CEEEiE and NDIX that are set to join entities like Vishvakarma University, Vaikundh Mahavidhyalay, Mahashakti Rin University to get Deemed University status. Faking News was, however, unable to decipher these acronyms – unlike in case of NIAG – because they have become so popular that even the founders do not remember their full form.

The NIAG research team consisted of experts in multiple specialities such as Tantrics, Astrology, Palmistry in addition to nuclear physics, space sciences etc. The findings about Dawood were based on high-tech astrological surveillance of the mars and Saturn coupled with geographical imagery and data obtained from Chandrayaan, India's very own moon of the real moon.

Earlier, this technique has been successfully used to locate ancient underground and under-sea bridges, which had eluded archeologists and geologists since millennia. Researchers used astrological charts of Dawood's relatives and enemies to discover their planetary movements and incorporated them to suggest about his whereabouts.

The study's real value, Vaiththiyanaathan says, is in combining satellite records of geographic locations, patterns of electricity use and the lifestyle of cops in the area with records of palm-prints and horoscopes for locating fugitives. Dawood's horoscope reveals that he must be enjoying 'Raja Yoga', being pampered by cops, while also showering goodies on them.

The study also makes assumptions that Ibrahim might need -

  • Sumptuous non-veg meals, requiring a posse of expert cooks.
  • Security combing a few bodyguards and isolation that requires a high-walled compound.
  • Jamming equipment to shield from outdoor surveillance through wireless.
  • Whereabouts of Dawood Ibrahim, the main accused behind most of the extortions, drug-running rackets, bomb blasts and even power-blackouts in India, are considered "one of the most important political questions of our time", the study, reported in the NIAG International Review, notes.

    (This EXCLUSIVE report has been brought to you by chhuchhundarbaba)


    Post your Comment, real or fake...