Monday, March 23, 2009

Elections for Kashmir will be held in Ireland

The ShifterSrinagar. The Election Commission of India (ECI) has decided to hold the parliamentary elections for Jammu and Kashmir (J&K) Lok Sabha seats in Ireland. This has been done after the J&K state government expressed inability to provide foolproof security for elections in wake of the ongoing volatile incidents in neighboring Pakistan. The ECI had the option of either shifting the elections until after situation in Pakistan became normal, or carrying out the elections under the supervision of limited security forces, but it surprised everyone by its decision.

“We were not sure if situation in Pakistan will ever become normal. And to add to that, we expect a lot of political uncertainty all over India after the General Elections 2009 results come out. That would have further made it impossible to hold elections in Jammu and Kashmir. After a lot of internal deliberations and external consultations, we thought that it was best to hold the elections elsewhere.” ECI commissioner Naveen Chawla informed.

Sources confirm that Indian Premier League (IPL) commissioner Lalit Modi too was consulted by ECI before this decision was taken. ECI refused to tell the exact location where elections for Jammu and Kashmir would be held causing widespread speculations. While most of the mediapersons thought that it could be held either in England or South Africa, Faking News has learnt from its reliable sources that the elections would be held in Northern Ireland.

“There were very few areas in this world where elections for Kashmir could have been held. Although many people in Kashmir, who otherwise don’t participate and vote in elections, would have wanted the elections to be held in Palestine, Indian government would have never agreed to that. The next best option was Northern Ireland and I guess the government will have no problem with that. All these speculations about England and South Africa are rubbish.” one of our sources in ECI leaked us the information.

The decision attracted a lot of criticism from different quarters although the political parties seemed to be happy with it. According to reports coming in, Mehbooba Mufti and Omar Abdullah have already started preparations for traveling and campaigning abroad. Hurriyat parties too, for a change, have expressed interest in traveling, though they were tight lipped about campaigning or taking part in the elections. But all these leaders criticized the Indian government as they couldn’t get clear information about the embassy they should approach for getting visa of Northern Ireland.

Meanwhile critics and social activists have called the whole process a travesty of democracy. A couple of social activists have threatened to go to courts to stop ECI from holding Indian elections abroad. But a few of the experts thought this was always on card.

“First they shifted Indian movie shootings to abroad venues. Then they shifted IPL matches. After Bollywood and Cricket, it was but obvious that Politics was next in line, and it has happened now. I won’t be surprised if Religion, another favorite pastime of Indians, is also shifted abroad. So watch out, next Amarnath Yatra could happen in Timbaktu.” Prem Pujari, a social thinker, opined.


Kamal said...

LOL.. mast likha hai beedu.. Lalit Modi ko foreign travel agency khol deni chahiye

dolphin said...

haha, hilarious write-up!

Kiran said...


I landed here from BlogBharti. This is a hilarious post to say the least! Loved it. You are definitely going to see a lot more of me on this site - and do I need to say that I am adding this blog to my feed reader?

Deepak said...

Great one

Aah said...

Awesome - they can take the Kumbh Mela to Amsterdam I say - it owuld attract double the numbers.

Sambha said...

LOL..good one

Post your Comment, real or fake...