Saturday, June 13, 2009

CBI gives clean chit to pigs in Swine Flu case

swineNew Delhi. Cell Biology and Immunology (CBI) department of AIIMS has given clean chit to pigs in Swine Flu cases across the world. The department has found out that the present outbreak of Swine Flu has got nothing to do with any swine i.e. pig, as no confirmed case of transmittance of H1N1 virus from a pig to any human being has been registered till now. The group has heavily criticized media for maligning pigs by calling the disease ‘Swine Flu’ and has suggested replacing the term by ‘American Flu’.

“This is really shocking. The disease started in American continent, especially in Mexico, among human beings and spread to other parts of the world through human beings only, still the media called it ‘Swine’ Flu! Not a single pig is down with this flu; in fact farmers are worried that their pigs might get this flu from human beings. The world owes an apology to pigs.” CBI press release told.

The disclosure by CBI has been welcomed by pork-eaters and pig farmers. Farmers have asked the government to take steps so that pigs don’t get flu from men. Government has been unable to provide any information as there has been a confusion among Ministries of Agriculture, Animal Husbandry, Health & Nutrition, and Rural Development for taking full responsibility for prevention and cure.

The confusion got even messier with involvement of Ministries of Information & Broadcasting (I&B) and Information Technology (IT). While I&B ministry is supposed to tell the Indian news channels and newspapers to stop using the term ‘Swine Flu’ form now onwards, IT ministry got a fax from Health ministry to install an AntiVirus for H1N1 virus.

Such inaction and confusion by the government has come under sharp attack from opposition parties with the main opposition party BJP accusing the UPA government led by Congress of conniving in a conspiracy to malign pigs to appease those who think pigs are unclean and eating pork is sin. Congress has rubbished BJP’s claim and has hit back by asking what BJP did when cows were maligned through mad-cow disease.

Apart from BJP, communist parties too have accused the government of being a party to an ugly conspiracy, although the left parties didn’t think it a conspiracy to appease pork-haters. Communist parties believe that the latest disease was called ‘Swine Flu’ instead of ‘American Flu’ to save the name and fame of the USA. Communist parties have decided to start a mass awareness campaign against the UPA government’s servile attitude do the USA.

2 Comments:

thedailytamasha said...

Very surprising....especially after this one I posted over a month ago: http://thedailytamasha.wordpress.com/2009/04/30/cbi-clean-chit-to-swines/

Though the similarity ends with the punchline.

Devendra said...

nice post, and I also liked the link in the above comment. why don't both u guys (dailytamasha and fakingnews) join hands and start one unified website to keep readers like us laughing all the way!? :)

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