Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Sri Lanka’s army Commander Fonseka quits, to coach India’s military team

Lanka SalaamNew Delhi.In what is nothing less than a coup, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, has added another feather to his cap. He has successfully wooed Sri Lankan Army Commander Lt Gen Sarath Fonseka, in great form currently after being instrumental in the country’s greatest victory, to put in his papers. The Lt General will take up coaching of Indian service personnel.

Singh was ably assisted by veteran Maharashtra politician Sharad Pawar, to add this breakthrough to his impressive record. Under their leadership, India got recognized by the US and its own Parliament as a nuclear-armed superpower and had also launched a probe, painted with Indian tricolour, which crashed on the moon’s surface.

For Sharad Pawar, this is as important as scoring a sixer during a lean patch. The former Maharashtra chief minister currently holds low profile, albeit ‘lucrative’, cabinet posts in the UPA government. But, he has delegated the job of doing deals at North and South Block as well as Mumbai to second-rung leadership. He is personally busy in the sports arena, negotiating big time deals in international capitals.

Pawar blended his past experience of playing high profile politics as President of Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) and as Vice President of International Cricket Council (ICC) with the expertise he acquired as Union defense minister to clinch the deal.

The wily negotiator was in a jubilant mood when he contacted Faking News special correspondent Chhuchhundarbaba over his satellite phone as soon as Lt Gen Fonseka agreed to coach the Indian military team. “It hardly took me a couple of minutes to wrap up a deal he couldn’t refuse,” Pawar said and added, “Fresh from his victorious action in the fields of Eelam against the formidable LTTE team, the General should be able to inject the much needed confidence in our Service chiefs.”

The chief of Nationalist Congress Party is himself very well known for his own brilliant war strategies. He gave a very tough time to Congress bosses in the past on the issue of making the widow of a dummy scion of the Nehru dynasty as the country’s captain. Although he had to accept defeat and bow of the party, the tight leash he has kept the Congress bosses in, even from outside, bears testimony his acumen and calibre.

Sharad Pawar was particularly happy to get the services of the Army commander, reputed to be as ruthless in dealing with civilians when crushing guerrilla warfare as the good old Japanese and Nazis. He compared the logistics and financial assistance provided by New Delhi to Colombo to crush the LTTE movement to the monstrous budgets in fighting separatism in Kashmir. He hoped that Lt Gen Fonseka would transform the Indian soldiers into formidable military machines by draining all concern for human rights when fighting a war.

Pawar would not disclose the sum agreed for procuring the services of the victorious Commander. “Big guns working against me within the government could not make me disclose details of the $500-plus million stamp paper scam, even after kingpin Abdul Karim Telgi sang during narco-test. Don’t expect a Maratha of such integrity to indulge in loose-talk,” he admonished this reporter.

The former defence minister said that the people of Tamil Nadu may be willing provide a safe haven to the Tamils of Eelam in Sri Lanka; after all, their relations with New Delhi are just six decades old, compared to centuries old bonds with Tamils elsewhere. The LTTE may renew their offensive against Colombo and can get funds from Eelam refugees settled in countries like Norway, Canada, US, UK and Switzerland.

He cautioned, “New Delhi will have to be prepared to one day do in TN what Colombo did in Eelam. We cannot expect internal security to work in that eventuality. Coaching by the Sri Lankan hero of defence personnel, at whatever expense, is needed.” Pawar was apparently taking a dig at the new home minister Chidambaram, who recently usurped the job of his patron Shivraj Patil, following the Mumbai massacre.”

(This exclusive scoop has been brought to you by chhuchhundarbaba)


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